


Black Widow’s Web

by linabauer



Series: shine, dream, smile, oh let us light up the night [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And Music, And Red, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Crack, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Joins SHIELD, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha Romanov-centric, SHIELD Family, Ugh, Violence, and natasha inspired playlists, and the devil's keeper, angsty music sets the tone, i have the chills and feels from reading gone to the dogs again, omg, so many unhealthy coping mechanisms, they all have issues lets be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 45,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22401331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linabauer/pseuds/linabauer
Summary: Of emerald eyes sparkling with gold, fiery hair of legends told.-This is Natasha Romanoff's legacy.-The story of a spider.-Manual guide on how to build a family, a life, from the ashes-May the light guide you in the dark, may these melodies break your fall-OR, Nat doesn't know how to become someone else already, okay? Also, Maria sings to Nat when they're alone. And they adopt the embodiment of evil (cat) and two complicated girls (widows).
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: shine, dream, smile, oh let us light up the night [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716211
Comments: 7
Kudos: 234





	1. Chapter 1

2012, after New York’s alien invasion

“You guys have to see this,” Tony yells as he prances into the dining room and smacks a tablet onto the table.

Steve picks it up.

“Avengers, saviour of New York. About them and their lives,” he reads out loud, then frowns.

“Of course, there’s me, who’s already a celebrity, but you all! All of you, now celebs alongside me! Of course, you aren’t as famous, but still,” Tony rambles on.

“I don’t wake up and sing the American anthem immediately everyday and listen to it on loop for my workout,” Steve’s frown deepened as he scrolled through the article.

“They’re bound to get make up crazy rumours anyways. But really, you don’t?” Clint teases, popping out from a vent.

“Jesus Christ!” Tony shouts, clutching his chest dramatically.

“No, just me and Clint,” Natasha supplies from the other end of the room as Tony shrieks again in surprise.

“Do you two really have to scare me like that every. goddamn. day?”

Clint and Natasha look at each other before turning their heads back to Tony.

“I’m a spy, he’s a marksman. It’s good training for us,” Natasha calmly points out, finally removing herself from the pretzel like shape she was twisted in when she was sitting on the couch’s side.

“Yeah, and it’s to keep you on your toes,” Clint adds, climbing out from the vent.

“Clint, you don’t have a secret partner do you? Because there are headlines claiming you kissed some woman and someone got a picture,” Steve says.

“Uhm, no?” Clint laughs nervously.

“He’s very sex deprived and girlfriend-less, I can assure you,” Natasha interjects, covering up for Clint.

“I can probably change that, set you up on a few dates,” Tony muses.

“No!” Clint protests, horrified.   
Tony just grins.

“Anyone knows where Bruce is? There’s a theory about him that he is immortal and honestly, with Hulk, I’m not even sure if I can definitely deny that,” Tony continues.

“Your Science bro is currently in the lab working,” Steve replies.

“Natasha’s a little quiet here, care to share your views or juicy secrets?” Tony asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“My secret is that I can peel your skin from your body in probably twenty seconds, a minute tops,” Natasha casually answers.

“Not sharing then,” Tony concludes.

—————————————————————

After that incident, many more reports flow in.

And out of all the things, they now seem to be targeting the Avengers’ love lives.

“According to this one I’m dating Natasha. Ew!” Clint says, scrolling through the news on his Starkphone.

“Speak for yourself, I would totally date Natasha,” Tony casually replies, and Steve chokes on his sandwich.

“Lucky for me, I would never,” Natasha announces, striding in.

“You just got friend-zoned Stark,” Clint whoops.

“My heart can take shrapnel, but not thou’s rejection and the pain of loss,” Tony declares dramatically.

“Thou art false as hell, thy doesn’t care,” Natasha shoots back.

“Bruce! Natasha’s being mean!” Tony whines.

“I’d say it’s justified, you man-child,” Pepper sighs as she enters.

“Looks like you all have seen the reports and articles. Well, if any of you are uncomfortable, actions can be taken to prevent them from happening again, at least for some time,” Pepper announces.

“I think it’s alright, it’s kind of funny to see these honestly,” Clint says.

“Yeah, there’s this ridiculous one about me dating Steve,” Natasha says.

“We’re definitely only friends,” Steve agrees.

“Well, if it isn’t bringing too much trouble,” Pepper concedes, takes Tony’s coffee, ignores his protests and leaves.


	2. Chapter 2

2012, a month after the last chapter

“We should so make a Twitter page,” Tony excitedly suggests.

“What’s a Twitter?” That’s Steve.

“Totally, it’s going to be hilarious.” That’s Clint.

“NO!” That’s Pepper and Rhodey.

*sighs* that’s Bruce and Natasha.

“You will not,” Pepper says, brandishing a fork,” make a Twitter page. You’d probably use it when drunk and send nudes or whatever.”

“The loss of trust,” Tony sighs dramatically.

“Come on Pepper, it’s going to be fun! Live a little!” Clint begs.

“What’s a Twitter?” Steve repeats.

“Social media platform. Something Tony can’t handle despite his genius,” Rhodey informs.

“I support it then!” Steve grins.

“Let’s call in a vote!”

“Who votes to have Twitter?” Three hands fly up.

“Come on Brucie, it’ll be wild!” Tony pleads.

Bruce buries his face in his hands.

“As long as I’m not blamed for anything. And you owe me for this,” Bruce concedes.

“YES!” Tony and Clint yell.

Natasha, Pepper and Rhodey groan.

Later in the night

“Maria, these idiots are killing me,” Natasha complains.

“Yes Nat, that’s what you say every time you call,” Maria replies, sounding amused.

“But Masha,” Natasha whines.

“No, S.H.I.E.L.D. only involves itself if Tony’s accidentally set wild mutant animals on the loose, not because of social media. But keep an eye on them for me won’t you?”

Natasha pouts.

“Fine baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Natasha sighs.

“The things I do for love.”

“Nerd!” Maria yells from the other end of the phone.

Natasha scowls.

“It’s your fault for making me watch Game of Thrones, an incest filled show!”

Natasha’s scowl deepens as Maria’s hysterical laughter could be heard.

“I’ll call you later baby. I’ve got babysitting to do,” Maria finally manages to choke out.

“Bye, don’t give the new recruits too hard of a time.”

“I’m kicking ass.”

“I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

Next day

Natasha wakes up to being bombarded with notifications on her phone.

“Fucking hell,” she swore.

She disabled her phone and left it in her room.

Following her usual routine, she got up, got dressed, went to get a granola bar, hit the gym and downed some coffee before heading to the living room.

When she stepped in, she nearly turned back to head to her room again.

“What,” she yells,” in the world is happening?”

Clint was hanging on the chandelier and trying to shoot Tony while Tony was hiding behind the couch attempting to shoot Tony with a nerf gun.

Steve was Instagram living the whole thing, to make it worse.

“They have started something called the weekly nerf war Agent Romanoff,” JARVIS helpfully supplies.

Natasha removes her knives from a garter hidden somewhere.

“I swear on the count of three if you two don’t stop your shenanigans and clean this shit up I’m calling Pepper and Nick!”   
Tony screams and drops his nerf gun.

“Don’t call Pepper, I can explain- argh!”

Clint just shot Tony.

Tony’s eyes narrow.

“It’s so on Barton.”

Natasha sighs as Steve tries to keep in his laughter.

“Rogers, turn off the live,” Natasha commands.

“The fans are enjoying it though- okay yes ma’am!” Steve hastily complies.

“Wait no- Steve- you turn it off and she’s going to kill us- fuck!” Clint screams as Tony manages to land one hit on him.

“Sorry everyone who’s watching, but when Natasha says something, you better listen. We might continue this next week, if Natasha hasn’t killed us first- okay ow, the knife throwing wasn’t necessary Natasha! Okay okay I’m turning it off!”

The last thing viewers see is Natasha’s scary glare and Tony and Clint’s screams.

Later

“I will not apologise for having a nerf war with Legolas!” Tony says.

“Anything to say Barton?” Pepper asks, giving an unimpressed look.

“Uhm, well, oops?”

“I’m calling Maria and telling her to give you latrine duty for six months, and you know how bathrooms in the Helicarrier can get,” Natasha adds.

“You wouldn’t dare, Hill would never agree.”

“AD Eye-Candy would, trust me,” Natasha casually replies, filing her already perfect nails.

Tony snorts and Steve blushes.

“I’m sorry, but AD Eye-Candy?” Tony asks.

Natasha shrugs and Clint begin what would have been a laugh but Natasha glares daggers and knives are him.

“We all create nicknames for every Agent when we’re bored. Hill’s include Eye-Candy, Ice Queen, Commander will push you off the helicarrier without a parachute if you so much as breathe wrong and Blue eyes,” Clint explains.

“She is kind of hot...” Tony sighs.

“But Pepper will be the only dame in my heart,” Tony finishes as Pepper whacks him on the head with a random file conjured.

“That reminds me, anyone keeping up with the Avengers’ news of dating lately?”   
“Me,” Clint says and Steve raises his hand.

“There’s this poll going on and apparently Steve is secretly in love with Tony, me and Tasha but Tasha likes Steve and Tony likes me and Bruce is still an ace aro which is actually true, they got that spot on.”

“There’s this other story that Bruce is dating Natasha,” Steve adds.

“Oh my god no, I don’t like men that way,” Natasha groans.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Natasha says, unsheating her gun,” I’ll have to go hunt down these article Writers and-“ 

“You can’t kill anyone Natasha,” Steve protests.

“I’m not American, Nor Russian, Nor any other countries’ resident, I can damn well do what I want,” Natasha growls.

“Wait, are we just going to skip the fact that she said, and I quote, ‘I don’t like men that way’?” Tony asks.

“Wait, you’re lesbian?” Steve asks.

Natasha glares.

“Yay, you’ve caught on! I’m gay, have been gay for about six seven years, you’ve noticed! And I wasn’t even being subtle. You all would be terrible spies, no wonder Steve’s a soldier and Tony’s a tin can. Even Pepper knows, and that was every since she met me in 2008. Now if you’ll excuse me-“

Natasha strides out, preparing to get her phone and call Maria again, Masha’s duties on the helicarrier be damned.

The Avengers were a bunch of kids, and it was like she’s the crazy sister who held everything together.

Back in the room

Stunned silence ensued.

“Well, now that that’s over, how about we all set up dates for our dear Little Miss Gay Spider?” Tony suggests.

“If you do that she’ll probably kill you and leave you in some ocean, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Clint answers.

“Also, Tony, you’re not going to touch anything from your lab or science related for the next week. Clint, you’re going to behave or I will take up Natasha’s offer of getting you on board the Helicarrier for latrine duty, no matter the costs,” Pepper threatens.

“Yes,” both Tony and Clint mumble.

“And Steve, don’t encourage their shenanigans.”

“Yes.”

Back in Natasha’s room

“Maria?”

“Hold on, one second. The rest of you are dismissed, go clear up the equipment! If I see one thing out of place all of you are doing double circuits for the next week! Okay hey Nat, you were saying?”

“I may or may not have accidentally came out in front of the Avengers and I may or may not be freaking out now.”

“Oh Nat, they’ll definitely accept you. I mean, Tony’s bi and they accept him.”

“Yeah but it’s just another thing they can use to insult me and I know I’m not being practical and I’m not ashamed of you but fuck this sharing thing is hard and-“

“Nat, calm down. Breathe with me, okay? It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be fine. This doesn’t change anything. Breathe Nat.”

“Okay, okay, okay- fuck I just hit my toe! Damn it that’s painful.”

Maria laughs.

Natasha scowls.

“Hey, this is your girlfriend in agony! Mean,” Natasha complains.

“I’ll have that drawer or whatever you hit your toe on cut with a chainsaw if that pleases you baby.”

“I’m flattered, and aw, do you have a crush on me?”   
“Nat, we’ve been together. For three years.”

“Still.”

“Anyways, I’m finally getting off this fucking airship metal thing that’s driving me crazy with all the stupid people inside in a week. Just hang in there okay?”

“Yeah. See you in a week Masha.”

“It’s been a long month and a half Nat. I love you, can’t wait to see you.”

“Then a lot of sex.”

Maria chuckles.   
“Definitely. And I’m going to make you scream so loud Laura’s going to be able to hear it from all the way at the farm.”


	4. Chapter 4

2012, for the next three months

Natasha’s sick and tired of the Avengers helping her find dates.

It had been happening, for three months.

Three fucking months.

She’s rejected about ten days offers.

Tony’s determines to matchmake her, Steve’s helping, Bruce is trying not to laugh or cringe, no one knew, Thor came back once and congratulated Natasha, quote unquote “Lady Natasha will surely find another Lady that is unparalleled to her skill and finesse!”, Barton (Natasha is calling him by his surname now due to him encouraging this) amused and egging them on but at least not actively participating.

Natasha’s calls to Maria have been less frequent with Maria’s workload piling up and Natasha having long missions.

When Natasha gets date number 12, she finally, finally shoots someone in the ass with a dart.

And it is, of course, Barton, for not backing her up.

Natasha’s a little worried that Maria might come back, hear the gossip and take it wrong, so she manages to wrangle herself and Barton onboard the helicarrier for the next three weeks.

Barton was going to suffer with her on the boring metal aircraft.

Also, no more date suggestions.

And of course, more time with Maria, Natasha’s by far favourite high-ranking agent (well, there’s Coulson who sneaks her some chocolate occasionally, but Hill was her girlfriend, it goes without saying that she was the best).

If the duties are boring, there was always the watching Maria work and laying together with Maria at night times.

Natasha was not sappy. Shut up Barton.

2012, October, fifth month after Chitauri Invasion

Tony was making them celebrate Halloween.

Natasha was going for the free candy.

Barton was going to pet the cute dogs.

Maria also had a holiday. It was a very nice situation.

Natasha went to Stark’s Halloween themed party as a witch.

Maria initially didn’t want to go, but with Stark pleading her, Natasha kissing her to beg her and Barton betting that she wouldn’t win the best dressed competition, she went.

Maria got her own room in Stark Tower for her stay, and hallelujah praise the lord to whoever decided to install the freaking jacuzzi. They did wonders to her muscle aches.

Maria was going as Athena because Athena was wise, she was wise, it made sense. Also, minimal costume preparation and if any attack occurred she could still fight easily.

The olive branches wrapped into her hair was falling out but with a lot of bobby pins from Natasha they managed to stay stuck.

She and Nat were late for the party because Natasha couldn’t get her hands off Maria and in the end they spent half of the preparation time making love in the bathtub.

Thank goodness Barton didn’t comment or he’d have lost his life in very gruesome ways that night.

Besides the Avengers, Tony also had about twenty to thirty other people over.

Maria ended up sitting with Pepper for most of the night as Natasha, Barton and Tony were wilding, Steve and Thor drinking by the sides and chatting and Bruce only making a slight appearance before disappearing.

“How does one even deal with Stark, let alone be in a relationship with him. That man may have a high iq, but sometimes I’m really questioning if he’s an adult or not,” Maria casually says, swirling her glass of wine.

“Eh, he gets into messes, I try to fix them, he makes it worse and hopes that it comes out alright while I give up and sit helplessly at the sides. So far we have had quite good luck,” Pepper answers with a sigh.

“Dealing with the Avengers in one nutshell. There’s word that Fury’s putting me in charge of them from now on on behalf of SHIELD. I don’t really know whether I should be pleased or writing out my will.”

“Oh, please do come so I won’t be the only responsible person who is sane in this entire building.”

“I’m not really sure, Nick does what he does whenever he wants to.”

Maria and Pepper settle into comfortable silence.

Two men walk over and offer a drink.   
They are dressed as vampires, as cliche as that was.

“Hello my goddess,” one of them says, winking at Maria and handing her a glass of wine that complemented the vampire look.

“Pleasure to meet you sir,” Maria replies.

The other man begins to talk about some company stuff with Pepper.

“Why don’t we leave those two to their talk. I’m Alan, I’m from the Logistics department of an engineering company.”

“Well I’m Maria Hill, I work for Ms Potts,” Maria smoothly lies.  
“Is this nice enough?” Alan asks, leading her to the bar table.

“It certainly is. Working for Ms Potts has been wonderful, and this party is really... something else.”

“I see you’re not one for parties.”

“I don’t really like the unwinding from work and then getting a huge hangover in the morning part. My job demands professionalism, and I will deliver it.”

“Luckily for you, I can help you with the unwinding part,” Alan murmurs huskily, leaning closer to Maria.

“I’m terribly sorry, I’m not interested,” Maria politely rejects.

“Oh but we could have so much-“

Alan breaks off as Natasha suddenly appears out of nowhere.

“Hey Maria, wanna go get some shots with us? Barton calls dibs on the good stuff, but he’s currently just eating gummy worms,” Natasha smiles.

“Yeah sure thing. Excuse me, sorry,” Maria says, relived that Natasha has come to save her.

There’s this funny stiff way to Natasha’s walking, although she covered it well.

“Nat, lets go out to the bathroom for a while. I need to touch up my makeup,” Maria suggests.

Natasha blinks a few times, as if being snapped out of a trance and nods.

Natasha brushes her fingers against the silky fabric of the white flowy dress Maria was dressed in that showed off her upper back muscles and shoulders.

Maria presses the elevator button to go up.

“Your room or mine? I missed you Nat,” Maria whispers.

Natasha only strode in and jabbed the button for her level.

“Okay then,” Maria says once the door closes, jittery feelings beginning to rise.

Once the door opens, Maria follows Natasha as she scans her iris.

“Access accepted, welcome Agent Romanoff and Agent Hill,” JARVIS’s voice announces.

Maria walks in, trying to pull herself together to speak and explain herself when Natasha pins her to the wall and kisses her.

Maria hungrily kisses back.

Despite having touched each other three hours ago, Maria was still so wanting.

“Nat,” Maria says warningly.

“Shut up and let me kiss you you ass. You look so pretty in this dress, and your legs are so sexy.”

“Nat-fuck!” Maria breathes out as Natasha bites down hard enough to suck and coax out a hickey right under her earlobe.

Natasha’s other hand wanders down to Maria’s breast and squeezes.

Maria’s pupils dilate even further and she immediately swaps their positions, pushing Natasha against the wall.   
“Is Nat jealous?” Maria purred, tugging onto Natasha’s hair.

Natasha in return growls.

“Let’s make one thing clear tonight,” Maria declares as her hand roams Natasha’s body and the other pins her arms to the wall.

“You’re mine and I’m yours.”

And after a lot of denying Natasha pleasure and instead making her watch as Maria brings herself to completion and grinds down on Natasha, eliciting whimpers and moans from the red-head while she couldn’t touch herself until Maria finally said so and Natasha came immediately so hard when Maria’s fingers plunged into her cunt that the painting of some scenery nearby on the wall shook.

They spent the rest of the time wrapped up into each other’s embraces in bed after cleaning up, Natasha blocking JARVIS’s calls for Maria and Natasha to come back (sent from Barton and Tony) and didn’t care about going back to the party. Natasha only had two more days with Maria and she was going to make full use of them. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one yay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I ran out of ideas because I’m not really functioning now but I Guess it’s going to turn out a little angsty? Idk I’ll see how this goes

2012, November

Natasha never told anyone, but today was a special day.

It was not her birthday, but it was, however, the day where she was brought into the Red Room.

She knew she was born in 1984, but the specific date was unknown. 

She hated her birthday.

22 November was a cursed date. The day her nightmares begun to lurk around in her life.

Monsters that used to only run wild in her dreams.

Not that she wasn’t a monster, of course. She was well aware that she was a pawn, a spy, a blank canvas. 

Today was movie night with the Avengers. There was mandatory team bonding night today and all Natasha wanted to do was to go to bed and hope she didn’t alarm anyone with her screams.

She managed to get through the day by running herself ragged, making herself so tired with paperwork that she did for ten minutes and gave up or training for ten hours or helping Pepper out with her documents.

Just anything to do to get her conscious to not stray to that forbidden place.

She would not allow herself to kill or seriously injure anyone today.

Sadly, Maria was forced to go to some embassy thing today with the CIA, Pentagon and FBI on the growing threat of ISIS or some other organisation that wasn’t necessarily extremely threatening but was a pain in the ass.

So Natasha couldn’t find an excuse to cuddle up to Maria and let her nightmares fade like they always did with her girlfriend.

Maria would be back in the Tower where Stark decided to make her live early into the morning the next day.

Natasha wasn’t religious, but she prayed to every single deity out there that she’d get through this without a hitch.

Of course, she would be shunned by the gods.

Later at night, 8pm

“Woo, it’s movie night!” Tony yelled and jumped onto the couch.

Natasha’s patience was already wearing and her mind was beginning to unravel slowly with how tired she kept herself today.

Just three more hours Natasha. You can do this.

So she put on her usual mask of exasperation tinged with a slight dash of fondness and sighed exaggeratedly.

“Popcorn’s here!” Clint shouted as he and Steve walked in carrying four large bowls of popcorn.

“Tasha I know you don’t like sweet popcorn like the rest of us so here’s your salty one,” Clint says, shoving a bowl into Natasha’s arms.

“Sometimes being friends with you is worth it Barton,” Natasha replies and accepts the bowl of popcorn, concentrating on chewing and not on her memories or the burning pain behind the back of her eyes.

“Salty, just like the ocean, perfect for the resident spider,” Tony jests.

“Bruce, help me stab him,” Natasha says.

Bruce pales. 

“Now, there’ll be no stabbing one another,” Bruce nervously says. The doctor was still afraid of weapons, especially using them against his now friends even though it was a joke.

Wow, Natasha must be really too tired to consider showing a neutral side and making the rest comfortable.

“Yes, no fighting will be involved here pals, this is team bonding,” Steve agrees.

“Killjoy. Now, we have Snow White and the Huntsman, Rise of the Guardians, Jack Reacher, Wreck it Ralph, wait we’re have the Hunger Games! Oh my god we have to watch it!” Torn excitedly says.

“What’s the Hunger Games?” Steve asks.

“Oh my god, Capsicle you are in for a treat. I believe you are still in the 80s in catching up with life so far?” Tony rambles.

“It is 70s, Sir,” JARVIS helpfully provides.

“Yes, yes, anyways, Katniss is badass, Peeta is smitten and Gale is at least useful in this movie. Also Effie Trinket is iconic and Haymitch is just trying to enjoy his beer.”

“Clint will never be as good as Katniss,” Natasha offers, smirking.

“Hey, I’d like you to know that I can definitely out-shoot Katniss in an archery match at anytime!” Clint argues.

“Whatever you say,” Natasha smiles as she feels herself finally relaxing slightly as the familiar sight of Tony bickering playfully with Clint, Steve at a loss and Bruce peacefully spectating.

“Are we going to start to movie or not?” Natasha drawls from her one seater couch seat that was more like a massage chair than anything (she wouldn’t be surprised if there were machines hidden inside for massages).

“Alright alright,” Tony stops fighting with Clint and presses the button on the remote.


	6. Chapter 6

2012, November 22

By the time the movie ended, it was about 11. 

Everyone was getting ready to head back when Steve’s phone rang.

“Cap, you know how to use a phone right?” Tony teases as Steve scowls and answers the call.

“Pass the weed!” Clint hollers.

“Come back to bed Rogers!” Tony joins in.

“I will not make pancakes for you two if you both don’t shut up I’m trying to hear Director Fury!” Steve hisses.

That got Natasha’s attention.

Tilting her ears towards Steve imperceptibly, she kept silent.

“Alright, but at this time of the night? Okay, yes Sir.”

Steve got off the phone.

“Avengers, we have a mission,” Steve announces.

“It’s eleven, we aren’t a twenty four hour hotline call,” Tony groans.

“Well, I’m actually not sure about that,” Bruce says.

Natasha is immediately in razor-sharp Black Widow mode.

“Let’s head for briefing, chop chop before I chop you,” Natasha says, whipping out her knives from her garters to add on to the effect.

“Holy shit okay I’m going-“ Tony yells and heads to the meeting room.

Natasha sheaths back her knives as they all head out to the meeting room for briefing.

“Welcome, Sir, Capsicle, Strongest Avenger, Katniss-wannabe and scary spider vodka aunt,” JARVIS’s voice resounds.

“Hey, I’m no wannabe,” Clint complains to Tony.

“My AI my choice of names,” Tony swats dismissively at his face and seats himself on the nearest seat.

“When you are all done,” Fury’s voice suddenly rang out from the screen.

“Yes, yes, okay, who’s ass do you want us to kick today, no wait, tomorrow, it’s already going to be 12,” Tony sweetly says.

“Cut the bullshit Stark, I only need Rogers, Barton and Romanoff on this, the two of you are back-up. Romanoff will be on data-retrieval, Barton cover for both and Rogers destroy the facility,” Fury continues.

“I’ll be patching your handler in, Agent Idens.”

The screen switches to another Agent. He was dressed in his field suit already, looking imperious.

“Testing, 1,2,3, yes. This is Agent Idens speaking, this will be a Level 7 mission, intel classified, Captain your Level is only at 5, we will need to separately brief Agents Romanoff and Barton, both Level 8 clearance. The maps and necessary information will be given on the Quinjet. You might want to brace yourselves for the cold, because we are heading to Greenland.”

“Got it.”

“I’m not paid enough to do missions after eating that much popcorn,” Clint grumbles.

“We’re paid 4k a week Clint, and you’re getting old and fat,” Natasha teases.

“How dare you I’m 70 kilos and you’re... I actually don’t know how heavy you are.”

Natasha smiles innocently.

“She’s 64,” Maria casually says as the Avengers leave the room and round up a corner.

“Oh my god does everyone not know how to greet a person normally?” Tony screams and clutches at his chest.

“Get used to it Stark, contrary to belief I am not only a Soldier but I can be a spy,” Maria dryly replies.

“Anyways, how did it go? I need to know the going-ons in the governments who play with power too much, it’s such fun toying with them,” Tony excitedly rambles, precious sleepiness forgotten.

“Classified,” Maria firmly rejects.

“Have fun on your mission, I’ll be turning in already,” Maria excuses herself and subtly shows a number two with her fingers.

“We still need to talk in the morning!” Tony yells after Maria.

“Let’s go, we need to be ready in three,” Rogers says and Natasha and Clint head up to get their gear.


	7. Chapter 7

2012, November 23

“In position?” Steve whispers into the comm.

“Hawkeye in position,” Clint replies.

“Widow in position,” Natasha answers.

“Widow, guards at 10 o’ clock, four all armed with rifles,” Agent Idens says.

“Is the planned entry secure?”

“More guards, all armed to the teeth, ten of them.”

“Alternative route?”

There’s a slight crackle over the comms.

“Agent Idens?”

More crackling.

“Captain, Hawkeye, do you read?”

“The- malfunc-out-“

“Wid- ening-“

Natasha huffed as the comms went down.

“Looks like we’ve been spotted,” she sighed and begun her re-assessment if the situation.

Rogers and Barton were on the south and west side respectively, with her on the north. She mentally reviewed the estimated layout as she planned her way into the place.

Six levels, about the size of half a Football field, trees in the clearing, snow might obstruct. She had two guns, all loaded, extra bullets clips in her belt, grenades, her Bites, a metal garrote, knives, and a few other handy essentials for getaways, distracting, incapacitating or all of the above.

She would finish this mission without the two, as she always did whenever a mission with Hawkeye went wrong.

She snuck to the forest and climbed up the trees.

It was a bit slippery from the snow but she got up, then balanced herself. Momentum.

She leaped to the other tree silently, her hair flying behind like trailing fire.

Landing quietly, she squatted and calculated.

The distance wouldn’t be too far.

She jumped again.

She was now three trees away from the first guard. The second was about ten metres away, third standing with fourth one at the entry point.

She jumped again.

Letting the slight rustle from the leaves settle, she watched, tensed up and right against the tree, as the guard looked in her direction.

Getting soft Natasha, can’t even jump without making noise.

Natasha waits until the guard turns back.

She then brings out her gun and fires four shots at each guard’s chest.

They may be wearing tack gear, but her bullets were sharper, harder, stronger. Not easy to break.

As their bodies thudded to the snow, Natasha gracefully leaped onto each of their bodies, using the trees and then jumping on them like stepping stones.

She finally climbed up the gate and went over.

She scaled the metal building, ignoring the searing cold that was permeating through her gloves. It felt weird, almost unnatural.

Her suit was a bit stiffer than usual since this was her winter suit, built to reflect more heat and have a thicker material.

She would have frozen to death already if it weren’t for the Soviet version serum pumping through her veins and her familiarity with the weather conditions.

She was recovering S.H.I.E.L.D. intel, so she needed to finish this mission.

She removed a tool from her belt and unscrewed the vent panel.

Old tricks that Clint taught her.

When too many guards and compromised, do not risk the chance, instead, use the vents, and be silent.

Natasha hadn’t believed him until one day when she sneaked into the mission site she was immediately assaulted by twenty agents. It wasn’t fun, but she killed them all, kept one or two for questioning and then had to deal with Hawkeye’s smirks for the next week.

She put the tool back as she crawled into the vent, leaving the grate hanging by one screw.

The vents smelled. There was a coppery stench that smelled suspiciously like blood, then a smoky smell. Natasha blinked rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

She started to crawl, map memorized in her head as she navigated her way through the rough estimation.

She finally reached her destination. Peering through the grate, she found there to be two guards.

She carefully unscrewed the grate, slid it away noiselessly, then shot the two guards. She watched them have a moment of confusion pass by her face before slumping to the ground.

Natasha dropped onto her feet lightly. Taking out a hard drive, she tapped at the computer nearest to her, fingers quickly keying in her algorithms and codes to access and download the necessary information.

Her comm started to crackle.

“Finally, I thought you were going to just let me do this on my own,” Natasha says.

“Why what a pleasure to hear you again Natalia Alianovna,” came someone’s amused voice.

Natasha tensed.

“Who are you,” she growled, fingers resuming their tapping, hyper aware of her surroundings.

“Don’t remember?”

“I have met many people in my life, now reveal yourself.”

“Now now, in such a haste. Why don’t you finish hacking into the system, then head to the north-west wing level 3 room six for a little chat,” the clearly female person continues.

“How about, no,” Natasha sweetly replies, voice dripping with venom.

“Oh, you’ll want to. You’ve got the stamp of the rodina, Natalia, and the rodina wants you back.”


	8. Chapter 8

2012, November 23

“You’ve got the stamp of the rodina, Natalia, and the rodina wants you back.”

now

Natasha freezes.

“Madame,” she greets, finally recognising that emotionless voice.

“Indeed, it has been an interesting, what has it been, ten years, since you tried to take down the Red Room and defected. Quite shameful, the sudden loyalty turning.”

Game. Madame was playing chess with her. Madame just moved one of her knights. Natasha would have to move one of hers soon.

“Yes, how regretful I am, should I wear wire mesh for the whole day?” Natasha said, sarcastic.

“Good idea there Natalia. You see, this is why we have always wanted you. Creative and unafraid, also very fun,” Madame replied.

Natasha’s blood ran cold. With the Red Room, she could believe they would do that.

“How long have you been rotting here for anyways? And where exactly are you? Perhaps we could meet up for a little chat?” Natasha casually said.

“This place?” Madame gave a tinkling laughter. “It has always been here, Natalia, you don’t know everything. I believe you Americans call it compartmentalization.”

“Only Fury says that, we stick with you aren’t getting all the tea,” Natasha joked.

The download was nearly complete-

“I’ll have to cut this short. You see, Red Room was never a separate organisation from HYDRA. HYDRA was built from Red Room and vice versa, our ideas originated from the same source. Unlike them, we aren’t as... brash. We stay in the shadows, do we not? But the web is spun-“

Natasha’s focus zeroed in at the small scuffling sound at the locked door.

“-the fight to stay untangled begins.”

The door burst open, and an onslaught of bullets rain down on her.

Natasha had already snatched the thumb drive and ducked down under the table.

Natasha crushed the comm as she slipped out her own guns.

Reaching out from behind the table, she shot at the four people coming in. 

All female. All of them wearing the Black Widow insignia, one way or another.

A new generation of Widows. Welcome back to the Red Room Natalia.

Natasha managed to shoot one in the leg, but she did not falter. Instead, she moved faster towards Natasha as she threw her gun down.

Natasha readied her knives as the others followed suit.

The first punched her. She dodged. Spin, kick, light and quick.

The second joined.

Punch out, hook, stab.

One knife gone, landing into the second Widow’s diaphragm area.

The Widow’s eyes widened and Natasha lashed out at the third Widow.

The fourth joined as Natasha started her deadly dance.

Block, duck, sweep out with feet, propel body around enemy, shoot with Bites-

The third Widow finally went down. Natasha thanked Tony silently for messing with her cuffs and accidentally setting them to enough volts to fry twenty computers.

As she landed nimbly on two feet, the last two Widows went right at her together.

Natasha barely had time to breathe before jumping up and leaping over them.

They skidded to a halt across the room from Natasha as they panted and stared at each other for a few seconds.

The first Widow flew at Natasha, and Natasha knew what she was going to do.

They taught the girl Natasha’s Widow body spin grab.

One second to her reaching.

Natasha shifted to the side and grabbed the Widow’s legs.

The Widow may know the move, but it was Natasha’s and she was the one who invented it.

Natasha brought her arm up and pulled the Widow’s leg, bringing her down into a dead lock.

The Widow struggled.

The last Widow was now coming at Natasha.

Natasha snapped the Widow’s neck under her and stood up to anticipate the final attack.

This was no time for anything other than adrenaline, a clear mind and quick body.

Natasha loosened the garrote wire from her waist.

The Widow, as if sensing the change, stopped and muttered something.

Natasha paused.

“You got a name?” Natasha asked, trying to get a sense of what was happening.

The Widow looked confused for a second, then blanked her face.

“Black Widow, and the rightful one,” she answered.

Natasha heard the bullet before it came. She just managed to dodge it and avoid it from lodging into her heart but it hit her upper hamstring.

“Shit,” she cursed as the Widow pounced towards her.

She could ignore the leg wound for now, what was more important was the Widow, the unknown assailant and the hailstorm of bullets now raining down.

The Widow was more of the attacker, but she had a weak spot. Whenever she did an advanced level move, she tended to leave her right side unguarded. It may be for just a few seconds, but even a second matters.

Natasha fakes a move forward to pretend tackle her or avoid to bullet just shot a few centimetres away from her as she unwinds the garrote and wraps it around the Widow’s neck.

Natasha forced the Widow to the ground with her knee as she held the cold garrote right against the Widow’s throat. 

“Where is Madame?” Natasha begun her interrogation.

The Widow, although muscles shaking slightly, didn’t breathe too heavily or she would have a sliced throat.

“In our hearts and minds.”

“Who did you call in?”

The Widow smiled, all teeth.

“Soldat, mission accomplished,” the Widow said, and spits at Natasha’s boots.

Natasha tightens the garrote before she is knocked out.

The last thing she feels is the Widow’s body slumping against hers and cold, cold fingers and a metallic whirring.


	9. Chapter 9

2012, November 23

Natalia wakes up and feels a searing pain shooting up to her pounding head.

“Natalia, remember the mission,” a man says.

It is a brunette with a mask on, those cold fingers she can still remember.

“Natalia,” he says warningly.

«Да» Natalia answers immediately.

Flashes of memories. Blood. Blood on her hands, under her nails, in her hair, smeared on her pale white skin. Guns. Bullets raining down. Snow drifting. The faint clip-clop sound of pointe shoes on marble flooring. Handcuffs.   
“Natalia.”

And she remembers.

“Hand me the thumb drive. Get out,” Natalia says, beckoning to the Soldat.

“Don’t lose yourself along the way,” Soldat warns before dropping the drive into her outstretched palm and vanishes.

Natalia snorts and looks around.

As if she would. She is, after all, the best.

It was time for Natalia to weave her web again.

She gets up and starts fake-limping to the doors.

-

2012, November 23, debrief

“Romanoff, you weren’t supposed to run off like that-“ Steve breaks off as he sees the haunted look on her face.

“Pathetic,” Natalia thinks.

She dumps the hard drive containing useless information into Agent Idens’ hand.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she claims before stalking off.

“Tasha!” Clint yells and a look of relief passes over his face as he appears from the doors.

Clint stops halfway.

“What happened?”

Natalia grabs his arm and pulls him to the corridor.

“Listen carefully, I need you to act like everything is okay, alright? Cameras everywhere, now gently pull me into a hug.”

Clint, to his credit, doesn’t falter but pulls her in for a hug.

Natalia pretends to melt slightly into his embrace. She turns her head around to Whisper into his ear.

“Red Room, I don’t know their master plan. I thought I brought it all down, but they’re back. I’m going off grid to hunt, do not tell anyone until I finish, not even Maria and Nick.”

Natalia lets Clint’s hand slide into her hair and grip her tighter, shoving down the disgust into her.

“I think you should tell Maria, or at least give some updates.”

Natalia bites her lip.

“I am not risking it, lives are at stake. Red Room will not hesitate to kill anyone in its way, even me. I’m just an asset, an assassin, a weapon and toy, something you use and discard, remember?”

“Tasha-“

Natalia lets herself start silently crying, tears soaking the material of Clint’s suit.

“I’m sorry, tell Masha that I’m coming. I’m coming back.”

“You sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” Natalia answers, looking up into Clint’s eyes.

Clint searches for any sign of hesitation.

“Alright, you win.”

Clint lets her go.

Just like that, Natalia slips away, leaving a small bottle of perfume in Maria’s room to keep up with what Natasha would have done (all the while trying not to laugh at how ridiculous Natasha could be, so americanized, even being Asian was better) and leaves.


	10. Chapter 10

2012, date redacted

Natalia finally gets back to Red Room after she managed to leave SHIELD and contact Red Room.

She is lying on a cold metal sheet again, ready to be made and unmade.

When she comes out from cryo, she does not know anything except that she is going to paint the world in blood and ruin.

2012, date redacted

“Are you sure?” Vika asks as Yelena nods furiously.

“Yes, sister Natalia is back. She was never dead!”

“I told you so, she’s the best, she would never have died,” Olga adds.

“Madame В says that she will teach us today, I really want to try out some new moves,” Yelena sighs dreamily.

“As if Sister Natalia would ever want to coach you, you can’t even manage to perform a whole piece without mistakes, let alone special moves invented by Natalia!” A senior, Marinochka, says as she overhears.

“I’ll show you!” Yelena shoots back as she gets up and is getting ready to perform but the bell rings and they all run out for lessons.

The faint sound of pointe shoes against marble flooring and soft swishing of leotards and skirts can be heard across the building as girls of the four dorms in four corners of the building head for lessons.

When they entered the room, quieting out of habit, Natalia is there.

“Primas, meet Natalia Alianovna Romanova, our most successful Black Widow. The Black Widow programme may have ended, but the Prima programme has just begun with all of you. You are a new generation, but guided by the same values and principles as the old and the older.”

“Widow will be teaching you once every now and then. She is of course, very busy in the world as a world class Black Widow. You all have the potential to be just like her, maybe better. But you will have to work for it, understood Primas?”

“Yes Madame,” came the fourteen students voices.

Madame nods at Natalia.

“Widow, you may begin. Welcome back to Red Room Natalia.”

Natalia grins, more of showing teeth than smiling, and Yelena shivers as those razor sharp eyes and meet hers when she scans the room.

Natalia’s changed. She’s not Sister Natalia anymore. She’s Madame Natalia. Not a friend.

It was saddening, but Yelena’s known worse grief, so she’s fine with it.

She’s alright with it, she tells herself, as Natalia places cold fingers on her arms to stretch her and position her correctly.

She’s alright with it, she says, as she watches Natalia make them train for two hours longer than scheduled because two students could not finish the dance perfectly.

She’s alright with it, she chants as she watched Natalia make a student stretch out her sore muscles until she screams and cries yet Natalia still does not let go.

Only the best will become Primas. The Black Widow would know.

So she politely thanks Madame Natalia as she leaves the room, ignoring the sobbing girl who is made to stay back, probably for punishment by Madame B, and her own muscles throbbing alongside her hammering heart.


	11. Chapter 11

2012, date redacted

Yelena wants to know what happened to Natalia, but she knows better than to open her mouth at the wrong time. So she waits and hopes to find bits and chunks of information. Like a mouse. Little Prima.

She doesn’t think anyone else realizes that Natalia isn’t Natalia until they hear the alarm sound one day.

Yelena wakes up with a jolt and is ready to break her bed to hide in case there’s an attack.

“Is everyone here?” Marinochka cautiously asks.

“Yes,” came the six other replies.

Marinochka nods grimly.

“I think someone’s tried to escape, or there’s an intruder.”

Yelena shudders. She remembers what happened to Ninochka who got so scared that she ran.

Like a coward, she couldn’t help but add.

Primas do not run, they do not break, they face danger with their own capability and skills.

Primas were the best of the best.

Ninochka was-

And all of a sudden, Yelena couldn’t remember what happened to her, only that Ninochka was no longer enrolled.

She was probably sent off to the city.

The door opened and Yelena immediately held her breath.

Marinochka had snapped the wood cleanly off the frame of her bed.

It was Natalia.

«Who are you?» Natalia growls in Russian.

Everyone looks at Marinochka.

Marinochka looks petrified, but manages to answer.

«Your students. You teach us ballet, this is the Red Room, Madame is training us to become the new generation of Primas»

«I’m a teacher? I don’t remember anything. This isn’t real, this is just a dream» Natalia says.

“Just a dream,” Marinochka repeats one English.

Natalia tenses.

«what did you say?»

«I said that this is just a dream» Marinochka hurriedly repeats in Russian.

Natalia’s eyes widen.

“Madame is going to kill all of you, what have I done,” Natalia murmurs and suddenly her back goes ram rod straight.

A girl starts to cry.

Natalia’s eyes have gone empty and she suddenly keens and kneels over into the floor, whimpering in pain.

Natalia’s convulsing, struggling to breathe as she writhes on the floor.

The girl cries harder.

The remaining six watch in silence and distant horror.

Natalia throws up blood and Olga screams.

Vika starts to shake from head to toe violently.

Footsteps can be heard from the doorway.

Everyone runs to Marinochka’s bed.

Yelena starts to breathe heavily and tears begin to leak down her face too.

The door opens. It’s just Madame.

“Are you Primas alright?” She asks.

Marinochka nods.

The others are too frightened and in shock to do so.

Madame waves her hand and six other people dressed in black and what looked like armour come in.

“Close you eyes, the seven of you,” Madame commands and they all do.

Yelena can head scuffling, she hears them drag something across the floorboards, she hears the sound of skin being slapped, she hears the sudden screaming and wailing of Natalia.

She hears the fizzle of what sounded like electricity and they all go away.

She doesn’t dare to open her eyes.

Her cuff clinks against the others’ cuffs, the seven of them remain curled up together on the bed for a long Long time.

2012, date redacted

Black Widow

Given Name: Natalia Alianovna Romanova

Birth date: ?

Date inducted to the Red Room: 1984

Code Name: Black Widow, Slavic Shadow, Red Death

Status: Alive

Species: Human, genetically modified

Experiment 56

Black Widow enhancement

Patient has already been subjected to genetic modifying before, see file 374

Patient has undergone a new test and modification, given the Winter Soldier enhancement serum, ten times more concentrated 

Patient is now under Intensive Care, showing signs of disorientation, memory loss, body has harsh reactions and is attempting to expel serum out

Patient will recover from this and assimilate to the serum in 72 hours

Patient has more undiscovered factors, will be subject to more tests when she is healthy and discharged from Intensive Care


	12. Chapter 12

2012, date redacted

“Barton.” Maria states.

“Commander? You rang?” Clint replies, giving an easy smile.

“I need you on a mission. Usually Strike Team Delta would be called in, but since Romanoff is currently AWOL, you’ll be doing this with a few Strike Team Chi members.”

“You mean May and the few newbies?”

“Yes, head for briefing in two hours time, and remember to feed Liho for me and Nat.”

“Yes ma’am,” Clint mock salutes as Maria scowls, trying not to laugh and Clint marches out in an overly exxagerated manner.

Maria sighs and relaxes on her chair, bringing her legs onto the table out of habit.

“Dammit Nat,” she curses before bringing her legs down again. Stupid habit from Nat.

It was stupid. It’s only been a week and she already misses Nat like she’s her left brain.

She knew that Nat did what she had to do. Maria would never hold her back from what she wanted to do unless she knew it was wrong or something was totally off.

Natasha was definitely more than capable of assessing any threat and determining her next steps, and Maria trusted her to do so.

It still stung when Nat was gone and so underground that she couldn’t hear her voice just once.

Fuck, she was becoming such a sap.

“You know what would help? A beer,” Maria mutters to herself as she reaches for a fresh can of beer in her mini fridge.

Nat didn’t really like alcohol besides vodka, but she still drunk it for appearances sake. Nat loved coffee more than anything and also really liked sweet things.

Maria was more of the alcohol person, believe it or not.

As the fizzy and slightly burning liquid slid down her throat, she sighed and started working on more paperwork.

2012, date redacted

Natalia flexed her fingers. All alright, still intact. She started to test out the rest of her body. All okay except for a few cricks from lying there too Long.

“Natalia, welcome back to the Red Room,” Madame whispers.

Natalia smirks and listens to her orders.

2012, date redacted

Natalia hated this part. It was the part where she flirted and teased with some idiotic boring high ranking man and then when the man brought this interesting and pretty woman home then did things get fun.

But for now, Natalia would do it.

He was a member of HYDRA, whom Natalia had heard, was infiltrating SHIELD right under Director Fury and Deputy Director Hill’s noses.

Natalia nearly snorted. Seriously, how can such a big organisation go unnoticed for years?

Especially since they were integrating into high rankings and subtly steering plans into HYDRA’s agenda.

Americans, idiots and fools all of them.

Including Natasha, Natalia added silently.

Dumb girl, falling in love with another crazy American, what’s more then Deputy Director of SHIELD.

So far, Hill hasn’t been able to sniff out anything wrong.

Natalia knew the Red Room would have to take action soon, or Hill would realise something wasn’t right.

Which was probably why Madame had sent her to this party. A party that had a few SHIELD agents too.

Natalia had dyed her hair to a shade of brown with black highlights so as to not give away her persona of still being Natasha undercover.

Primly sitting at the cushioned chairs, waiting for the speech by some man to be over before the dance begun, she started to try and identify the SHIELD agents.

Yes, there was Brock Rumlow. He is, however, HYDRA. There’s a lady, Natalia believed she was called Melinda May, tense and expecting an attack.

Expecting an attack.

Natalia brought out her pocket mirror and pretended to fix her lipstick.

Right there. In the corner of the room. A shadow, crouched and ready.

Looks like SHIELD was getting smarter.

Time for a little dance.

They were probably here for HYDRA, maybe someone tipped them off about a member of SHIELD switching sides.

It probably wasn’t about her or the arrow guy and Hill would have been barging in.

Natalia still needed to complete her objective or there’d be punishment.

The polite clapping started and Natalia snapped away her things and clapped too.

The guests all stood up and went to the side as they waited for servants to hurry up and push the tables and chairs to the sides.

Natalia kept an eye on the SHIELD agents.

May looks like she is adjusting her earring, but is actually speaking into the comm hidden in her ear.

Smart.

Natalia focused on hearing what she was saying.

Enhanced hearing so good it could pick up a pin drop in this room was useful.

“No sign of target, Winter is not coming.”

Natalia nearly rolled her eyes. Barton’s puns and references were dumb.

But, they were hunting the Winter Soldier huh. Natalia wanted to laugh.

Good luck with that agents. Soldat could match Natalia in sparring, they really weren’t a match for him.

“Copy, we’ll just sit here and engage in more boring diplomacy talk, May out.”

Natalia wanted to laugh at that. Looks like May would be a valuable asset to Red Room.

Natalia focused on her target.

For the rest of the night, she plays the tempting seductress, letting her slotted dress fall farther apart than it was meant to be, showing off flawless pale legs.

She danced with so many officials, let them touch her, use her for a few seconds before she gave a flirtatious wink and moved on to the next man like it was a banquet.

She finally got to her target. He was too intoxicated to even care about propriety anymore. He squeezes her breasts, a little too tightly if she might add, and lightly slapped her ass, and told her to drop by Hotel Wisteria Room 603 at ten tonight.

Natalia smiles back and gave him one last grind before heading to the bar.

The bar was already wild, with people taking body shots off each other.

Natalia didn’t join, but she sat at the side and observed.

Someone slid into a seat next to her.

“Hard to believe they are government officials and high ranking agents of spy agencies huh,” May says casually.

“It’s like they’re animals,” Natalia whispers back conspiratorially, sliding into a more Natasha like persona. She was, after all, Rita McCallum, the personal assistant of a random man she already forgot.

“Anyways, what’s a pretty girl like you doing at some event and not joining in the body shots huh?”

“Got dumped by my man. Was apparently a drug addict and had three other girlfriends and a wife. Not really regretting anything to be honest, but I’m done with men for now,” Natalia, or Rita, says.

“Well we could join the body shots, one woman to another,” May suggests.

Natalia eyes her up and down and takes in the beautiful curves and wicked gleaming eyes.

Natalia’s slept with so many people before, what’s another? Besides, Natalia could use her and dump her, this SHIELD official would never know what hit her.

Then after May she would fix her makeup and head to finish her mission.

Instead of answering, Natalia raised her glass of wine and pulled May to the crowd.

The music blaring was like electricity. It fed Natalia’s cold flame born of Russian Winters.

May smirked as Natalia faked a trip, pretending to be so intoxicated.

“Let’s go have some fun and show the men that we women are definitely better shall we?”

Natalia laughed and clinked her glass against May’s.

It was honestly a bit of fun.

Then again, this woman was part Asian, so they were probably brought up almost the same way in strict households.

Natalia became Rita.

She laughed and dirty danced and took body shots and licked up May’s body.

May’s eyes gleamed and shone as she too let loose and sucked off all the alcohol and a lemon slice on Natalia’s or Rita’s body.

Natalia’s or Rita’s head was beginning to pound a bit.

The clock struck 10.

Shit.

Rita let out a breathy moan as May nibbled on her skin right below her left ear.

She could feel the agent smirking against the skin.

The mission, Natalia. Do not lose your way.

Soldat’s warning was ringing in her ears.

“May- shit,” Rita hissed as May licked more stripes down her neck.

“Hmm?”

“I need to go, I still have to accompany my boss- fuck, I have to go.”

“Who’s your boss?”

“Mr Tevr- oh gods.”

May had trailed a finger down to her hips and was now rubbing circles in her inner thighs through the slit of her dress.

“Stay for a while longer Rita?”

“I-“

There was an explosion as Rita gasped and flung herself from May.

Attack.

“Shit shit shit,” May was mumbling.

Natalia shed off her Rita persona.

She shouldn’t have been distracted. What was wrong with her today?

Her head now clear and level-headed, she assessed the room.

There. The shadow that wasn’t a shadow was now moving towards May.

There was chaos and panic but Natalia got up and zoomed into the SHIELD agent.

Across the room, someone yelled again.

“Another organisation’s here. They’ve got this weird insignia, with some skull or something. Sorry to break up your hookup with that chick but we gotta go.”

It was Agent Barton.

Natalia was relieved that she had put on one of those high tech masks she stole from SHIELD and dyed her hair.

She pretended to whimper in shock.

She got up and fake hobbled, pretending to accidentally bump into people.

HYDRA was playing the game now.

Either that or they wanted to eliminate SHIELD too.

But Natalia has never failed any mission, this will certainly not be her first.

Natalia cursed Natasha for the lack of discipline she had to make Natalia so sloppy.

The barriers between all her personas were fading, she really needed to be wiped again. It has been too Long since she went into cryo, Natalia had to admit. The first time really hasn’t been thorough as Madame still needed information and any intel Natasha had learnt.

Time for plan B.

Natalia ditched the heels on the way out of the building. In the midst of the pandemonium, she slipped away easily, for to one of her convenient safe houses, changed into her catsuit, sneaked into Hotel Wisteria Room 603 and begun her investigation of the man, skipping the seduction.

2012, date redacted

Somewhere in the chambers below Natalia was screaming as she faced her punishment for being sloppy.

Melina Vostokoff listened time the other Widows.

They said it was time to bring up the standards since the last Madame died.

They said all the agents were becoming sloppy, even the Primas had lax training.

Melina debates this.

No room for error in the Red Room, her own Madame had said.

In here she was not Melina Vostokoff, not Black Widow, she is Madame B.

“Re integret the Black Widow training program, make it ten times harder for the Primas. Natalia will no longer be a teacher. She needs to re learn her lessons, she will fight against nine Primas tomorrow in the morning. Give her no time to recover from her injuries. They will fight near death but do not let them die.”

“For the glory of the Motherland,” the other Widows solemnly saluted and left.

Natalia’s screaming intensified.

Madame B looked across the room out of the glass pane and watched as three Widows broke Natalia’s left arm in four different places.

With her enhanced healing, Natalia would be alright by tomorrow, just very sore.

Natalia has to learn that she is no longer Natasha, no longer ill-disciplined.

She will no longer be held to the American standards. She is now one of the Red Room. She will paint the world in red.

It was time for Natalia to re learn that.


	13. Chapter 13

2012, date redacted

“Have the students all been wiped?”

“Yes, from now onwards they will only have implanted memories, they will have no recollection of their old days in the Red Room.”

“Make sure there are no loopholes.”

“Yes Madame B.”

2012, date redacted

“Nine students shall have a special lesson today,” Madame says.

All fourteen students listen.

“Olga, Viktoria, Nadia, Marinochka of South Zone, step forward. Svetlana, Angelina, Ksenia, Seda and Anastasia of North Zone, step forward. The nine of you have been chosen to engage in combat. It is a great honor, and the nine of you will gain valuable experience. The rest of you not called, you will be doing drills and practising at another side of the room. You will also spectate the fight at certain timings that I will tell you about later. Note the fine details of the intricate combats.”

The five nod, including Yelena, and head to the corner of the room to do their drills. Red Room never had warm-ups. Once you fight, you fight.

“You’ll be fighting a special someone today. She has just returned from a mission yesterday and she will be enrolled into the Red Room again until she remembers our values and ways. She has gone soft, that rogue spider.”

The door opens and two agents bring Natalia in.

No one dares to move.

“Natalia, welcome back to the Red Room.”

Instantly, Natalia’s limp form awakens and she is ready to fight.

“Primas, Natalia, start now,” Madame simply states.

Madame hasn’t even finished when Natalia strikes and knocks down one prima even though she was five meters away.


	14. Chapter 14

2012, date redacted

The last prima goes down in a heap of bloody mess as Natalia stands up from her crouched position.

She was limping a little as one of the Primas managed to get a good knife wound into her.

Madame B smiled.

“Good job Natalia. Widows, join Natalia for sparring. Natalia, blindfold yourself, start bound to a chair.”

Yelena watched in horror and mild fascination.

Oh gods. Natalia was going to fight trained Widows without her sense of sight and have to escape.

Natalia didn’t struggle as she was forced into a chair, reinforced ropes around her and handcuffed with ankles and legs tied with more of the rope. She was gagged with a muzzle and blindfolded.

“Primas, watch and learn,” Madame commands.

They all do, trying not to show their trembling.

Natalia cocks her head towards a Widow.

The Widow tenses.

“Begin.”

In one swift movement, Natalia leans forward, shifting her weight onto her legs and pushes back, executing a backflip and smashing the chair when she lands onto the floor.

The broken wood fall apart, and so do the ropes that tied her torso to the chair. Her ankles, legs and wrists were still bound.

A Widow attacks. Natalia dodges and smashes her elbow to the Widow’s side, somehow knowing where she was although blindfolded.

It was a deadly dance, with the deceptively small and handicapped Natalia against the Widow.

Natalia brought out a hand to punch the Widow. Natalia had somehow managed to get out of the handcuffs while fighting.

The Widow caught her fist and twisted Natalia’s wrist.

There was a clean snap and Yelena winced as Natalia’s wrist went limp and she pulled back.

It was probably broken.

With the new advantage, the Widow begun a series of quick combinations and Natalia could only listen and dodge the best she could.

“No running Natalia, running is for cowards,” Madame B chided.

Madame signalled for a second Widow to enter the fray.

The first Widow landed a kick on Natalia, and Natalia fell to the ground.

Yelena sucked in a breath.

The Widow was going to pin her down when Natalia, who had her hands around her head, looked up and rolled across the floor.

She had pretended to be cowering to distract and gain time to take off her muzzle and blindfold.

They lay on the floor next to where the Widow landed.

Natalia was now focusing on the second Widow who came at full speed.

Natalia blocked her left hook. The Widow swept her feet under Natalia’s and she jumped, flipping over the Widow and landing on her other side. Without giving her time to react, Natalia stabbed her, producing a knife out of nowhere.

“She took that from the Widow,” Yelena heard a gasp of admiration.

Yelena watched the intricate and deadly dance closer.

Natalia usually played defence, Yelena realises as Natalia took out the knife and slashed through the bonds around her legs and ankles. The knife was edged with a very hard substance that was harder than diamond. It was also coated in the Widow’s blood.

The Widow fallen to the ground grabbed at Natalia’s legs and made her fall to the floor.

Natalia growled, a look of pure anger coming onto her face and she lashed out at the Widow’s face and crushed her nose.

Natalia sat up and plunged the knife into the Widow’s hand and the Widow screamed.

Natalia had a savage smile on her face now, looking absolutely wild.

The Widow kicked out at Natalia and Natalia slammed an elbow into the Widow’s unprotected gut. The Widow let out a pained scream again as Natalia removes the knife from the Widowms hand and forced it into her torso.

Natalia twisted the knife and blood pooled around, staining Natalia’s pristine pale white fingers and the marble floor.

Suddenly, the first Widow shot Natalia.

But Natalia had heard the gun click. She moved out of the way, but wasn’t fast enough. The bullet tore through her arm. Natalia sucked in a breath but didn’t react to the pain.

She scowled at the first Widow as she started to empty her clip in Natalia.

Natalia dodged, leaped, jumped and avoided the bullets, somehow knowing where they would be before they actually came.

Yelena marveled at the pure elegance and beauty of the whole fight. Natalia’s brown hair whipping around her face, probably dyed brown for that failed mission, muscles rippling and tending as she concentrated and moved.

Natalia threw the knife at the Widow that the Widow dodged. In doing so, she stopped her shooting momentarily.

Natalia went in for the kill. She ran, so fast that Yelena swore she was just a blur, and jumped onto the Widow’s shoulders, squeezed her neck using her thighs and the Widow looked furious for a second before taking out a garrote and trying to garrote Natalia, but her hands got up halfway before Natalia smashed her thumbs into the Widow’s eyes.

The Widow shouted and rolled to the floor, trying to shake Natalia off.

Natalia followed the roll and got up right after.

“I will kill you for that,” the Widow hissed.

“I am the Black Widow, and death will not take that away from me,” Natalia answers with a deadly serious look.

“You better hope so, because you are going to die today,” the Widow says as the two circle each other.

“How does it feel like to be the weakest Widow? Sent to train us, never going on missions, is that how weak you are? Pathetic,” Natalia spat.

“Bold of you to say that with that shoulder wound of yours, within a few minutes you are going to die. Either from me or blood loss.”

She was right, Yelena realised. Natalia was deathly pale, movements restricted.

“I’ll take you done with me.”

The Widow moved and Natalia anticipated her attacks and moves.

The upward kick was met with an arm blocking, the punch was dodged, the jump onto Natalia’s shoulders was a close one but Natalia had grabbed onto the Widow’s legs and probably broke a few bones.

Natalia was so strong. What had she done to become like that? There was no way her training would even allow her to be this strong.

Yelena mentally filed that away for things to investigate.

The Widow face planted the ground.

She spat out blood.

“Traitor. You defected to SHIELD now this?” The Widow’s panted, breaths coming short as she applied pain management techniques.

“I am the rodina’s. I am here to serve my country, my people.”

“Oh really? What will darling Maria say about that?” The Widow taunted.

“Widow,” Madame warned.

“I am not who you think I am, not anymore. I serve and spy. I take on missions and bring justice, I will paint the world in red,” Natalia says, striding up to the Widow panting on the marble floor.

“My name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova. I am the last living descendant of the Romanova royal bloodline. I am the Black Widow, the Slavic Shadow, the Red Death. And I will. Not. Hesitate. To finish. The. Mission,” she growled, reached out and snapped the Widow’s neck.

The Widow stilled.

Natalia looked up at Madame. Her black crop shirt and shorts were stained and a shade darker, her legs and arms covered in half dried blood.

“Natalia will join the Primas for training. Natalia, you are not to kill any of them Nor the Trainers. You will be enrolled as a student again. You have passed your initiation ceremony. Congratulations.”

Natalia bowed.

Yelena stares at Natalia.

Natalia, as if sending Yelena’s gaze, looks right back at here and tilts her head, like she was analysing Yelena.

Yelena squirmed uncomfortably.

“This is Yelena, she is the leader of her group. Yelena, Natalia will be joining your dorm,” Madame says.

“Yes Madame,” Yelena replies. Natalia is still staring at her. Yelena fidgets unconsciously.

“Natalia, follow me to the medical room. You will be treated for the wounds and rest a while. You will join back for the afternoon lessons.”

“Yes Madame,” Natalia replies.

Yelena still feels Natalia’s cold gaze on her even after she left the room.


	15. Chapter 15

2012, date redacted

Natalia shifts uncomfortably as they extract the bullet without any drugs pumped into her but does not make any noise.

She knows that she should be silent. It is the only way to stay in the shadows.

But then the Widow. The Widow said something about defecting. She doesn’t remember that.

“Madame,” Natalia begins, unsure.

“Yes Natalia?”

“Did I truly defect? I can’t imagine I would do such a thing.”

“Yes you did, but you came back. As you should and will always do so.”

Natalia let out a puff of air as the medical agent cleaned her knife wound with alcohol swabs.

“I’m... lost. I can’t feel myself. I’m just a ghost in a shell. I’m not unravelled, but there’s parts of me that feel like they were never there or lost.”

“You just haven’t been on the field for a Long time. Too americanised. We’ll help you with that. Your re programming. It will be hard, but worth it.”

Natalia nodded hesitantly.

“What if I’m unmade and I forget how to patch myself together? What if you’re not available and I fall apart to dust and ashes? What will happen then? Soldat. He is being hunted by SHIELD. He is a solider, not a spy. He will always find his way back. I have no place in this world. I am a series of truthful lies, I am the Black Widow,” Natalia begin the ramble nonsensical things, mixed with facts and her own thoughts and observations.

“Put her in cryo again. She needs to be wiped and re programmed,” Madame softly says over the voice of Natalia.

The medical agents nod.

“Make sure she is ready to be re integrated.”

“For the glory of the Motherland,” they repeat.

2012, date redacted

“This op was trash,” Clint grumbles to Melinda.

“You could say that again,” Maria Hill says as she enters the Med Bay.

“It was a gather intel, find the person who needs to be protected and protect the person kind of mission, or babysitting. What happened?”

“The scene was compromised, more organisations were there than we originally thought it to be,” Melinda answers from her position at the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

“Take a look at these footages. At 7, everyone is seated. Speeches. There are seventy guests, from CIA, FBI, SHIELD, Pentagon, as well as spy agencies from Asia that chose to remain unnamed. But there are secondary organisations that managed to sneak in.”

“Organisations, as in plural?” Maria questions.

“Yes, one of them is a male. He is unidentified, facial recognition and iris scanners unable to find intel on him. Wears a badge of a skull and something else too intricate to be seen. He was the one who brought in the others of his organisation to bomb the place. Likely act of terrorism and show of dominance. However, there is one other organisation that is unidentified and unknown.”

“There was a leak of a woman working for the man. Her boss, apparently. But she didn’t know anything about the attack but vanished after the bombing. It’s like she was never there. She isn’t in the recordings either.”

“How do you know she was there?”

“I saw her. I was drinking with her at the bar. I slipped in a few drugs into her drink, but then again I think she also managed to drug me or something, because there’s no way that little amount of alcohol would be able to make me so high. Then at 10.01, the bombing. After that, Agent Barton came down from his spot. By the time I looked over, she was gone.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t hallucinogens? Maybe the man gave you some to distract you with a secondary target.”

“That’s the thing. The man was found dead in his hotel room at 12.15, two hours ago. It is not a coincidence. Got a picture of the scene from contacts in FBI.”

Melinda handed Maria a picture and a file.

In the picture, the man was mangled. He was gutted and face mauled.

“Before he died, he recorded some audio. It isn’t really clear, but he said ‘Hail HYDRA’.”

Maria paused her flip through of the file.

“Doctors, please leave for a while,” she commands.

Once they leave, Maria secures the Med Bay.

“You really mean that HYDRA is now active again,” Maria states more than asks.

“Their emblem matches what I managed to see,” Clint offers.

“Then Romanoff is on the wrong track. She says that Red Room is back. Now HYDRA is back. What if they were one? What if they were merged together, at some point over the years? Two fallen organisations, joined together, it would make them stronger as Long as there aren’t any internal wars.”

“We’ve got a lot to handle if that’s true then,” Clint grimly says.

“Find a way to contact Natasha. Extract her from her self-imposed mission. This is too dangerous, we need to find a way to navigate before rushing in. Gather any intel you can find on HYDRA and Red Room’s recent activities since its fall.”

“Yes Ma’am,” they both intone.

“We’re in so much shit,” Clint mumbles, and Maria can’t help but silently agree.


	16. Chapter 16

2012, date redacted

And so Yelena trained. She trained alongside her remaining Primas who moved into the same dorm as her, as Natalia who came back disarmingly blank.

Sometimes Yelena thought that Natalia wasn’t actually there. Like she was floating off into some kind of space. But then she’s come to and finish off her stretching exercises.

Yelena was offered to test out a new serum. She agreed. They said it would make her stronger, better, faster, just like Natalia. Yelena wanted to be as skilled as Natalia, as pretty as her, as perfect and whole. Yelena has learnt that emotions won’t get you anywhere.

Only skill, a charming tongue and beautiful face hiding the gun underneath will. If that’s what she learnt from the incident of Natalia killing the nine Primas and two Widows and coming out with only a bullet wound and knife wound.

Natalia was never allowed to combat with the Primas, only the Soldat. She was taken to separate rooms and always came out bruises, bloodied and limping, but the savage smiles on hers and the Soldat’s faces, who came out equally bruised and broken, it was something Yelena was drawn to. It was intoxicating, the way their sweat dropped down their faces and they panted heavily, coming down from the adrenaline rush of fighting.

Yelena knew they weren’t doing ballet anymore. She had finally had a deeper insight to what was truly happening here. She knew, she didn’t care. She loved it. That was probably why Madame didn’t tel them about what they were doing, Yelena muses.

From what Yelena has learnt, this was not the normal child’s behaviour. But she loved it anyways. Madame probably wanted us to fall in love with it in our own twisted way. These things couldn’t be forced. If you were forced you’d end up broken. The ones who have died, they never truly liked it. Not enough to be able to survive.

Yelena trained to reach Natalia’s standards.

One day, she promised herself, one day, she vowed as she was wheeled away on a surgical table to have the serum injected into her, I will be a Prima.

So she took the serum that burnt in her veins. She endured it as she felt it tear through her body, as she heard the second Prima’s screaming, the only other Prima who had agreed and Natalia’s silent breathing as she too got a dose of the serum.

“I’m not just a little girl, I’m a Prima,” Yelena whispers as the lava-like substance in her knocks her unconscious.

2012, date redacted

File #472

Name: Yelena Belova

Date of Birth: 1997

Yelena is under the Prima programme of Red Room. She has recently taken a serum, but the serum was found to have errors. This resulted in the genetic mutation of her cells. Current abilities are unknown. She will be tested when she is awake.

File #473

Name: Evgenia Krakenova

Date of Birth: 1999

Evgenia is under the Prima programme of Red Room, the second youngest in her cohort. She has recently taken a serum, but the serum was found to have errors. This resulted in the genetic mutation of her cells. Current abilities are unknown. She will be tested when she is awake.

File #471

Name: Natalia Romanova

Date of Birth: unknown, enrolled in 1984

Natalia is a Black Widow under the Black Widow programme, now training with the Winter Soldiers of HYDRA. She has been subject to many serums which resulted in her genetic enhancing, Super human strength, vision, hearing, memory, etc. (See other files one re:Black Widow) She has recently taken a serum but the serum was found to have errors. This resulted in the genetic mutation of her cells. Current abilities are unknown. She will be tested when she is awake.


	17. Chapter 17

2012, date redacted

Yelena was drowning. She was so cold. The fire in her veins had turned to frost. Icy liquid slid down her throat as she screamed and screamed and screamed but only swallowed the icy cold water that burned and froze her.

She’s so so cold. And she’s going to die. Her muscles were seizing, she was being pulled done by heavy dresses, she’s being undone and choking.

2012, date redacted

“Once upon a time in a land of blood and war, there lived a young girl,” mama said.

“Was she pretty?”

“Yes, Talia. She was very beautiful, with porcelain white skin and flashing emerald eyes. Hair as fiery as her soul. She shone brighter than a star and loved dancing.”

“Like me?”

“Yes Talia, like you. She lived her days dancing, carefree and happy. Then the fire came.”

“Oh no! But there’ll be a knight that comes to save her right?”

“No Talia, she will save herself. She isn’t just any damsel in distress, she is a Russian through and through.”

“She was the only one to survive the fire. Everyone else wasn’t strong enough to come out alive. She told herself that she would never be weak. She would train and dance but she would not provide any weakness for knives to slide in.”

“She became, not the most beautiful princess of the Romanova bloodline, but the most talented and deadly Romanova. The Black Widow.”

“Woah. Of emerald eyes sparkling with gold, fiery hair of legends told,” the little girl spoke reverently and feverishly.

“Yes, she is the saviour of us. She will lead us out of this. But there are so many strong girls, who is the one the legend foretold? So many of the Romanova bloodline have fitted the description but failed, so many others have attempted and not succeeded. Perhaps it is just a legend after all. A fairytale story.”

Years went by and when the Black Widow who fit the description arose she destroyed and killed. It wasn’t the glorious picture that had been painted in the people’s heads. The legends changed and they were told with hate and disgust after that.

2012, date redacted

Natalia quietly awoke.

“Natalia. I will call Madame in. Please lay down,” one of the medical agents says.

Natalia complies.

“Natalia, good to see you awake. We have to run a few tests before letting you out of medical. Now, thsi is very important. If you feel anything wrong, or something changed, you must come to medical, alright? You will not be punished, but you have to do as I say.”

“Yes Madame.”

“Yelena and Evgenia have not woken up yet. When the time comes I want you to observe them. Help with evaluations. Thsi is their first time, they will be scared and that will amplify any pain they feel even the most minor ones. Do not let them be weak, do not give them painkillers of massages. Just be there, tell them that they will not break.”

“Because we are made of marble,” Natalia offers.

“Exactly.”

“Mission accepted.”


	18. Chapter 18

2012, date redacted

Yelena groans as she awakens, muscles trembling and sharp pain going through her entire body and brain fried.

“What the fuck happened?” She mumbles.

“Drink,” someone says, shoving a glass of water to her dry and chapped lips.

Yelena cracks her eyes open and winced as her eyes adjust to the bright lights.

“Oh, I’ll adjust the lights. Hold on,” the figure fumbles for the light switch and turns the brightness down.

“Thanks,” Yelena mumbles, and leans against the metal railing at the side of the bed.

“Drink,” the voice says, insistent.

“Okay wait, jeez, you didn’t need to shove it to me!” Yelena finally opens her eyes to look at the offending person.

She stops.

It’s Natalia, looking confused and genuinely out of place in this situation.

“Sorry,” Yelena says, lowering her head in fear and shame.

“Drink?” Natalia asks again, this time offering it to her.

Yelena accepts.

“What happened?”

“The serum happened. You’re now better than you were,” Natalia drones on, as if she had heard this many times before and were bored.

“Didn’t realise the serum hurt this bad,” Yelena grumbled before freezing as she realises who she is talking to.

“Everything good hurts. Dance hurts. Learning hurts. Life hurts, in general.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it hurts like hell,” Yelena sighs.

“How do you know? You’re about 15, you’ve been in the Red Room most of your life.”

“I can still remember. Bits and flashes of what it was like before. Then... the water, the cold, and it is like a part of me drowned in that ice river. It’s like some of me survived but the rest didn’t make it to shore.”

“Oh,” Natalia whispers as she sets down the cup.

Natalia stands there awkwardly beside Yelena’s bed.

“Did Madame send you?” Yelena finally asks.

“Yes, and no,” came the cryptic reply.

“Do you want to stay?”

“I... it’s not my choice.”

“Then stay, tell me a story. The pain still hurts, but it’s more of... a remaining pinch of what it was at first.”

“I don’t have any stories. I am the Black Widow. I do not have time Nor the capacity for things such as love. Love is for you. You’re a child, you still love.”

“Love is for all ages. Haven’t you seen all the cultural immersion programmes? Love is for everyone, isn’t it? How can everyone be say something and it be wrong?”

“Life is not a game Yelena,” Natalia scolds.

“It’s not a game, it’s a path of choice,” Yelena answers.

“We all chose to be here. It’s not something we can escape from. We feed on souls because we ourselves don’t have them. The sooner you learn the better.”

“Well, you’re wrong,” Yelena firmly says as she pulls up the thin blanket up her chest, looking ridiculously tiny.

“I’m never wrong. I am the Black Widow.”

“You keep saying that as if it means something. It’s just a title.”

“Black Widows are of legends. They spin webs and eat their prey. I am the Black Widow. I am the Black Widow. I am the Black Widow,” Natalia softly chants as she feels a growing pain or a throb in the back of her skull.

“Widow?” Yelena tentatively asks.

“Natalia?” Yelena repeats.

“I am the Black Widow I am the Black Widow IamtheBlackWidowIamtheBlackWidow-“

“Sestra Natalia?” Yelena whispers, genuinely afraid.

Please don’t kill me-

Natalia stops chanting and stares into space.

She snaps to attention again.

“I’m sorry, you were saying?”

Yelena retracts her hand that she had reached out earlier on when she was deciding if contact was advisable.

“Are you okay?”

“Me? Right as rain,” Natalia answers, speaking in some weird funny accent.

“Natalia-“

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I know anyone by that name, you could call me later?”

Natalia frowns and checks herself for something.

“Have you seen my phone? It should be around here somewhere. Masha always tell me that I need to stop leaving my phone in my bra, but I really have nowhere else to put it. I put it somewhere else and it ends up missing.”

“Who’s Masha?”

“Her? Oh, she’s my badass hot chick of a wife. Commander Eye Candy, or aye aye commander.”

Natalia frowns as she stops her patting down.

“Have you seen my phone?”

“Natalia-“

“I told you, no Natalia here.”

“Then who are you?”

“I’m Natasha Romanoff. I am the Black Widow-“

Natalia stiffens and hissed.

Yelena slowly starts to back away.

What was happening?

“Hey I’m Rita, nice to meet ya.”

“I am Natalie Rushman and I work for Stark Industries.”

“I’m Nikki Renee and I’m just your average college kid.”

Natalia starts switching personas, like she’s on some mission to show Yelena all her covers.

“Madame,” Yelena whispers, hoping that by whatever divine intervention Madame can hear her.

“Madame,” Yelena says again as Natalia starts to chant and chant all her personas and how they speak and their names and the occasional mixing in of “I am the Black Widow” and coming back to Natalia and looking blank and confused then back again and-

Yelena screams as the serum surges through her veins again and she explodes.

Her sight goes blind with white light and her ears ring.

2012, date redacted 

Yelena’s tired, she’s so so tired. Of running. Of the lies, of everything. She was so tired of weaving her own web over and over again tirelessly to catch people then to devour them.

She wants her own net. She doesn’t want to weave, she wants to lie down or get trapped in some other’s net and forever be dead.

Waiting for death isn’t going to happen. The diluted serums she had been taking over the years would not let her.

She needed to get under radar of a very capable organisation, fast.

The FBI couldn’t run fast enough to catch up with her, CIA mainly dealt with intelligence or data, Pentagon was currently dealing with some drug-lord kingdom that was becoming a growing threat in Natalia’s MIA status. HYDRA was in hiding and Red Room was dead. There was only SHIELD left.

SHIELD it would be.

The light shines again. The scene changes.

She’s being taken into SHIELD’s helicarrier by some agent called Coulson. Seemed like a sensible man. Good heart, but calculating.

So unlike Barton. Sloppy until the bitter end. And nearly too. Even though she tried to go easy on Barton to make her capture seem realistic, she really had to laugh at the sheer stupidity of the plan to capture her.

Barton had immediate medical evacuation after he reported with her to the handler Coul, Coal? No. Coul something, whatever his name was. Ah right, Coulson!

“So Romanova lives to see another day,” a voice says, dry but serious.

She turns to face Commander Maria Hill.

Natalia stares at the Commander’s deep ocean blue eyes as they lock gazes, more of asserting dominance than anything.

“Well aren’t you a precious thing. Does the little kitty want to play with the interesting red light? Or the spider?” Natalia croons.

The Commander raises an eyebrow, clearly not impressed.

“Cut the bullshit Romanova. I saw you wiggle your way out of those handcuffs off. Now why don’t you just take them off, kindly hand them to Coulson, let me escort you to the interview room and let me have my cup of coffee because I’ve been awake for 38 hours working on this fucked up OP. Deal?”

Natalia smirks as she releases the handcuffs, letting them fall to the floor instead. She flexes her wrists and fingers.

“What’s in it for me?” Natalia slyly asks.

The Commander glares.

“I’ll get you a donut.”

“What’s a donut?” Natalia asks, frowning.

“A pastry. Now will you just come along without fighting, for once in your stupid life just do it will you?”

“Hmm,” Natalia pretends to think deeply, a flare of pleasure sparking in her as she sees the annoyance rise in the Commander’s pretty blue irises.

They were a light shade of blue but electrifying. She really liked them more than her green, cursed and damned ones.

“Alright. But make it two donuts.”

“Glad to see you’re in a joking mood,” the Commander grits her teeth and marches off.

Natalia had to jog to keep up with her brutal pace.

“Hey hey, slow down. I’m shorter than you, please keep into consideration my legs that are tinier than yours.”

“Grab onto me and put in roller skates, we don’t have all day,” the Commander retorts, instead increasing her pace.

Natalia grins, stops and takes a deep breath.

“What are you-“ Maria is cut off as a figure lands onto her shoulders. She immediately tries to get them off, but the pair of thighs had a vice like grip on her neck.

“Woah woah there. Easy, let’s not get hasty. It’s just me, now let’s head to the room of doom!”

Maria looks up to glare harder at Romanova.

“Come on now, don’t be late, time’s a ticking!” Natalia says in a sing-song voice.

Maria smiles and continues walking.

“I hope you see the fuck you in my smile.”

“Gladly, you’re not too bad looking yourself I must say. Whether you’ll go for the cute soft girl type so you can top them or force the bad girl type into submission is the real question- ow! Mind the doorway Commanded! I’m still here!”

Maria unceremoniously dumps Natalia onto the floor.

Natalia anticipated this and rolled to a stand.

“See you around sometime Commander,” Natalia smirks.

“The next time I see her it will be me pushing her off this stupid flying aircraft where no one has brains,” Maria grumbles to herself as she exits the room.

“Bye sweetheart!” Natalia cheerfully says as she plops herself into the seat, baffling the interrogator and preparing herself to trick another truth machine.

The vision abruptly ends as Natalia sn Yelena gasp for air.

Natalia is immediately holding a knife to Yelena’s throat.

“What. Did you do,” Natalia threatens in a low growl.

“ I don’t know,” Yelena answers, head still reeling.

“You saw my memories until I pushed you out, how did you access them?” Natalia demands.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know, I swear by Madame that I don’t know-“

“Leave it Natalia.”

Madame enters the med Bay.

Natalia immediately wipes her face blank and withdraws the blade.

“Yes Madame,” she softly answers and steps to the side.

Madame lays a hand in Yelena’s burning forehead slicked with sweat.

“You’re developing a fever. You’ll stay in here for some time. Natalia, head to the Soldat quarters. Get one and train.”

“Yes Madame,” Natalia bows and slips out of the Med Bay soundlessly like a ghost.

“What’s happening to me?” Yelena asks.

“You’re becoming stronger and better.”

Well, if this is what stronger and better meant, Yelena didn’t want it.

We all live with our choices, they’re like ghosts we carry around, Natalia’s voice reverberates through her head. It was something Natalia had always told the girls.

I want to be a Prima, I will be one. Yelena vowes.

As if Madame heard her silent swear, she smiles and tells her to shut her eyes while the Med agent injects her with some drug to make her rest.


	19. Chapter 19

2012, date redacted

Natalia’s furious. There’s palpable rage rippling off her and if it weren’t for Madame she would have killed the girl.

How dare she.

Violate her memories as if she was naught but a photobook-

She supposed she was somewhat of a photobook.

So many layers and memories and personas.

She was something different to everyone. Weapon to Madame. Idol to the Primas. Enemy to everyone who knew of her identity.

She didn’t remember who she was before she came back after her supposed defection, if the Widow was reliable.

On times like these, when she felt cold and empty and her head was pounding and ears ringing, she wanted to feel.

She slipped into the room for the soldiers.

She quickly scanned the room and reviewed their strengths and weaknesses that she kept a file for in her head.

Today, she needed pain. She needed to hurt, to feel, to stop being so numb. It’s like she’s suffocating like she was when she was in the fire, there’s her mind threatening to unravel at any second.

The girl did a number on her. She somehow managed to develop the ability to access her memories.

Natalia needed to learn how to block her mentally.

That was a problem for tomorrow.

She heads to the handler on duty now and requests for James.

2012, date redacted

“Again,” James instructs as Natalia is slammed onto the floor.

She grits her teeth to prevent herself from screaming in rage and frustration, instead schooling her face into neutrality and standing up, stretching to loosen a few tense muscles.

“Sloppy. You didn’t follow through.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

James growled.

“You think this is a joke? I only have a month or so left to train you. If you fail, I fail too. HYDRA will put me away and I will fall apart, unused.”  
“Who do you want me to be then? The devotee who hangs on to your every word like it’s the Ten Commandments?”

“I’d like for you to listen to what I’m saying and get your head out of your ass and use it. You’re going to get yourself killed, and I don’t want that kind of partner. Why would the strong wait for the weak? Why would the cheetah wait for the snail? It’s simple. In this world, you let your emotions get better of you, you suffer and you die.”

Natalia takes in a deep breath as she shoved the tears of anger back.

“Tell me, what are you really doing this for? For yourself? For the Motherland? Or are you lost? A ballerina on stage, spotlight shining on her, expected to perform, everyone’s waiting, the music starts. She doesn’t. The crowd is confused. The ballerina stands there. She’s collapsing from within. She’s staring our into blank space. She’s lost. She’s not ready. She’s going into a downward spiral. She’s unstable. She’s led out from the stage by the instructor, the Madame. The performance goes on, another taking the place of the ballerina. At the end of the performance her career is destroyed. She’s numb, she’s crying, she’s begging, but the end.”

“Sad story, but not for me. I am the Black Widow,” Natalia firmly insisted.

“Are you? You think you’re alone. You think you’re a lone spider. You think you’re the only one on this journey. But you forget. **I’ve been there the whole time with you in the shadows.** I’ve seen you. This isn’t you. You’ve lost yourself, Natalia. I can’t find you. You’re fighting, but that spark in you is dying. You’re distracted. Emotional. Unmade and made and unmade. Memories, shards of words and promises meshed together with flesh and blood.”

“I have no place in this world. I am a blank canvas, I will be anything Madame wants me to be. Everyone expects different things from me. It’s takes practice to weave my web together. I am the Black Widow. I do not need your pity nor your empty vows or speeches. There’s a difference between us, Soldat. We may walk in blood and snow and a trail of bodies may be left in our wake, but I was born like that. I was born and raised to be the Black Widow. The Black Widow of legends. Of emerald eyes sparkling with gold, fiery hair of legends told. I am destined to be the Black Widow, fate demands it. My path is set in stone. You’re the ex-general of a World War squadron for America. You were raised to be compassionate and the man of women’s dreams. You were just unlucky. I’m born wrong. I’m born with some defect. Only someone as psychopathic as me could bathe in blood and laugh as their knee is shattered over and over again until it is a bloody mess of flesh and broken bones poking out. The sooner you accept that the better.”

“No one said that you weren’t the Black Widow, Natalia. You are. You are the true Black Widow from legends, you will bring glory to the Motherland. You will lead us into victory, no matter tomorrow or ten years later, you will achieve it. I know you will. But this Natalia, this ain’t Natalia. This is a broken woman who is too damn stubborn to see that she’s not going to get anywhere like that. You’re going to get yourself killed. One small slip up, one nanosecond late, one bullet, one knife shoved into you, it’s going to get you six feet underground. I know you’ve got regenerative healing factor boosted with ten times speed, but there’s more ways to die than in the physical sense.”

“Get to the point James, I don’t have all day.”

“The point is, you need to be out on the field again. You need to put whatever it is that is distracting you behind. You need to say goodbye to whatever part of your consciousness is still clinging onto your life as Natasha. Red Room has helped with your reprogramming from SHIELD to Red Room, but there will always be a part of your personas that you will keep. Let it grow, and it will be like a parasite. It will feed on you and you will eventually give in to it. You need to say goodbye to your old SHIELD life. You’re Natalia Alianovna Romanova, the Black Widow. You will not fail, you will not break, you do not falter, you are going to be our salvation. You’re one of the Fated. Your path has been set, the question is: will you walk it?”

“What do you want me to do?” Natalia finally asks, weary. She’s tired again. She’s bone weary of being on pointe all the time and continuing to stand through the muscles aches and bunions and bleeding toes and feet. She’s tired of not having her own safety net.

“We go on a mission. You, me and Yelena.”

Natalia’s eyes shoot to James.

“Yelena?”

James shrugs.   
“Madame said so, I’m not arguing. Besides, she has potential. She just needs practice.”

Natalia grits her teeth.   
She relaxes her features.

“It’s also for you to say your goodbyes. SHIELD is now aware that HYDRA is alive again, but they don’t know that Red Room is too, only that there’s a secondary organisation. They’re digging into the records of HYDRA now, and they are trying to get into contact with you and extract you. You’re going to be sent on an undercover mission to CIA where you will intercept any intel from SHIELD from your position in CIA along with Yelena. You will be briefed tomorrow. Today, we train. We fight. Because one minute more of training can be the difference of life and death in the field.”

On pointe Natalia. Knees locked, feet steady, don’t rock back and forth. No banana feet.

Don’t fall, little spiderling. Маленький паук. I am the Black Widow. Я Чёрная Вдова.

“Let’s train and talk later,” Natalia finally says.

James nods.

They both know that there’ll be no talking later. That James is going back to cryo and Natalia will either face Madame or go back to her bed and get handcuffed.

It’s just life. Life goes on even if you don’t. You have to learn to move with it.

Natalia and James beat each other into bloody, pulpy messes and Natalia ends up too tired to even care about the Primas staring horrified at her bruises. 


	20. Chapter 20

2012, date redacted

Yelena’s mind is reeling, but she’s feeling uncomfortable. Dare say guilty.

She knew Natalia hated to be breached with a passion. 

So much that no one talked about that time where someone found an old pair of pointe shoes under Natalia’s bed that were too small for her feet.

Natalia had cuffed the girl so hard that she sported a bruise and line on her face for the entire week.

Natalia had been sent to Madame. Came out, took the pointe shoes, and burnt them in the courtyard.

At least, that was what Marinochka said. Marinochka, who was killed by Natalia a few months before her graduation.

Yelena no longer felt like this was right. Something was off about Red Room. Something wasn’t correct, it was like a constant itch under Yelena’s skin.

She knew she had to run.

But then Madame came with a mission offer.

She knew she couldn’t say no.

So she accepted and retreated into the shadows, letting the medical agents patch her up and piece her together again.

It’s how it always has been and will be for the Red Room Academy.

2012, date redacted

Natalia sat down in the chair. The chair James had also been in so many times, the chair other Widows and Primas have been in, the chair that more Soldats than she could bothered to count have sat in.

It was a well-worn chair, Natalia realises. The first imperfect thing in this entire Academy. There were patches in the leather, black fading to a light grey. Cracks in the leather too. Like a barbershop chair.

Natalia stares at one particular hairline crack near her hand as they shove the bit into her mouth and the machine hums to life.

Welcome to the Red Room Natalia.

2012, date redacted

Natalia sees the way Yelena squirms in her dress. Yelena was never one for dresses, was she? Probably not, judging from her wiggling about and occasional twitch of an eye as she glances down at the flouncy, floral thing.

Natalia wore her black, curve hugging dress as if she was born to wear it. She didn’t really mind dresses, it was just the modesty part that really annoyed her. What was the point of wearing these if you had to be modest about showing off? Humans were so complicated and being human was honestly overrated.

James is geared up and checking his guns. Unfair that he got to do the shooting, but being the spy has always been her thing more than the Soldat’s.

“Remember the mission, and Natalia, for God’s sake don’t lose yourself. It took a really Long speech, ten hours of sparring and a few hours of cryo to find you again,” James briefs.

“Yes Sir,” Yelena dutifully says, ducking her head.

“Fuck off James,” Natalia answers.

“I’m so going to beat your ass in training when we get back. Now hurry, this job isn’t going to get itself done,” James rolls his eyes and clicks the gun to ready it.

“Prima, we’re off,” Natalia sobers up and smiles daintily like her cover would.

Nova Racquel would be skilled but frail looking. Nova Racquel would be a beautiful flower with a hiding Black Widow spider inside.

Yelena’s cover? That was for her to decide.


	21. Chapter 21

2012, date redacted

Natalia got the job easy. Turns out someone remembered the previous Racquel who worked in CIA but with a different name. All Natalia had to do was to say that she had changed her name and they allowed her in.

Yelena was to be her daughter, Jennifer Racquel, born as Jennifer Banks, adopted.

Yelena played the bored teenage girl look well. She even managed to fool the one of the high ranking agents who passed by Yelena in the corridor.

Yelena sipped on the Starbucks drink that Natalia got for her to complete the teenage look. It was quite good honestly, a caramel frappucino with whipped cream and caramel hot sauce.

Once they were done, they unhurriedly walked out of the building, Natalia looking slightly proud like how Nova Racquel would.

They got into the car.   
“So, what’s our next step?” Yelena asks.

“We’ll get back to the apartment and then we await orders from Madame,” Natalia answers.

There’s a silence that fills the car the whole drive back.

Natalia’s tense and anticipating attack as she grips the steering wheel.

Yelena takes a moment to figure it out.

“Uhm, so about last time,” she starts.

Natalia cuts her off.

“Save it Belova. We both know you didn’t mean to. The apartment’s here, lets go.”

Yelena gulped and nodded, abandoning their conversation.

Natalia locks the car and they head up the stairs to the fifth floor, masking their footsteps together to sound like one.

Natalia knocks on the door, a pattern.

There’s a return knock before the door opens.

James gets them both to hurry in.

Yelena dumps her sneakers to the carpet and sprawls onto the old couch.

“Natalia, come on,” James says, beckoning for Natalia to follow.

Natalia rolls her eyes but does so anyway, door clicking shut behind them.

Yelena can hear some whispered murmurs, then dead silence.

Yelena slowly gets up.

Then, James is running out of the door.

Yelena’s sprung up and anticipating attack when Natalia comes out too, holding a black cat and teasing smile on her face.

“James, don’t tell me you’re afraid of a cat! You’re the Winter Soldier for god’s sake,” Natalia laughed as she held out the cat.

“Cats are evil, I’m telling you Natalia, Yelena tell her!” James grumbles.

Yelena looked from James to Natalia and the cat.

The cat meowed.

“She’s cute, can we keep her?” Yelena asks instead, earning a no! from James and a thoughtful silence from Natalia.

“I don’t think we should keep her,” Natalia pensively says.

“Please?” Yelena begs. It would be nice to have something of theirs for once.

“No.” Natalia says.

“Please?” Yelena trues again.

“No,” Natalia replies, smirk sliding off her face and going blank and emotionless.

“Why not?” Yelena asks.

Natalia lets the cat to the ground and watches it slink off.

“Nothing lasts forever,” she shrugs and walks to bring James to his feet.

James shoots a “sorry kid” look to Yelena as he dusts himself off.

Yelena frowns. Just how far did she push Natalia?


	22. Chapter 22

2012, date redacted

_Natalia soaked in the cold bath as she closed her eyes. Awareness flooded through her, adrenaline coursed.  
_

_She started from the tips of her fingers. Awareness. Conscious. Blood flowing from the tips crawling up to the fingers, joining together up the wrist, separating, joining, intertwining, up the arms._

_Breathe in breathe out._

_The cold numbed everything. Natalia felt oddly detached, yet so in her element._

_And she woke up._

_-_

_“We all are living in a dream, life’s not what it seems, oh everything’s a mess,” a woman was singing._

_Natalia was no longer in the cold bath. She was warm, she was very much alive and well. She was in a couch, she was laying in someone. Not a target, not a mission. Just... someone._

_“And all these sorrows I have seen, they lead me to believe, that everything’s a mess.”_

_“But I wanna dream, I wanna dream, leave me to dream.”_

_Natalia shot up, but it was as if she never moved._

_“In the eyes, of teenage crystallized, oh the prettiest of lights that hang the hallways of the home.”_

_Natalia was screaming, but not a sound came out._

_The woman without a face continued._

_Natalia was still lying on her, unable to move, to think, to speak-_

_“And the cries from the strangers out at night.”_

_I am Natalia Alianovna Romanova-_

_“They don’t keep us up at night, we have the curtains drawn and closed.”_

_I am the Black Widow. I am the Black Widow-_

_Natalia notices something. A pin. On the coffee table. She can’t focus. She can’t, her vision is blurry and-_

_“We all, are living in a dream, but life ain’t what it seems, oh everything’s a mess.”_

_Focus. I am the Black Widow._

_“And all, these sorrows I have seen, they lead me to believe-“_

_Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus._

_“that everything’s a mess.”_

_“But I wanna dream.”_

_Focus._

_“I wanna dream-“_

_Almost there-_

_“Leave me to dream.”_

_S.H.I.E.L.D._

_This woman, from S.H.I.E.L.D. A piece of her fragmented covers._

2012, date redacted

Natalia woke up with a start to eyes staring down at her.

She immediately lunged out, ready to kill, but realized it was only James.

She relaxed and James let go of her arms, metal arm whirring in the silent night.

“You woke up at least the households with your screaming.” James states.

“Sorry, I...”

James’s eyes soften. He understands.

Cryo is only temporary. Everything comes crashing back down soon after depending on how strong your mental borders were.

“Can I touch you?” James asks.

Natalia nods, and James traces patterns on her arm. The Black Widow symbol, the Soldier’s Star, her name, useless, nonsensical patterns that make no sense, just like her head, a jumbled million piece puzzle.

“I need to dig into the archives of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Natalia says finally, exhaling as she calmed down.

“I have a few contacts and inside members, let’s just finish this mission and-“

“Нет, we have one right here.”

James’s fingers still.

“Yelena’s just a child. She’s a liability and if anyone comes after her in large numbers she will die.”

“She’s smart enough to do it. And I suspect she has Inhuman powers. She’s triggered something in me. There’s no way I just randomly have flashbacks. My memories are too shattered and well buried for this. Besides, if she betrays us, I will not hesitate to skin her and hang her by her guts and let her blood drip out drop by drop until she is nearly dead and I will send her to Madame.”

James sighs.

“You stubborn ass.”

“Says the Soviet ass,” Natalia shoots back, leaning into James.

James flicks her forehead playfully and settles an arm around her shoulders, huge body a stark difference from Natalia’s deceptively small and frail frame.

In the distance leaves rustled and Yelena curls and uncurls her fingers.


	23. Chapter 23

2012, date redacted

Clint shoots arrow after arrow as he growls in frustration. 

"You going to destroy every single target we have in S.H.I.E.L.D.?" a cool voice cuts through the constant and repetitive thuds of arrows splitting each other on the bullseye.

Clint shoots one last arrow and sets his bow down to face Maria.

'It's been two weeks, I still can't contact her, all my contacts aren't helpful, you're the one who has been dating her for two years, how are you not worried?" Clint grits his teeth.

Maria let her calm mask fade. 

"I am. I am worried sick for her but if she doesn't want to be found she will not be found, that stubborn jackass. I just need you to get in a message to HYDRA darling. Dig around a little, I understand that intel recovery is Romanoff's forte, but you've been trained in the the theory part of that too. Keep monitoring HYDRA's activities, we'll wait for Romanoff to come back," Maria grimly says, exhaling heavily.

"Gonna go beat up the newbies with Melinda again?" Clint smirks, seeing Maria's body taut and strung with tension. 

"Don't chaf all the meat from your old bones Birdboy," Maria shoots back.

Clint sticks out his tongue at Maria's back and Maria chuckles.

2012, date redacted

The next three days passed by without anything major happening. Natalia dresses as Nova Racquel, James heads for some secondary mission in Pennsylvania and doesn't come back for four days. Yelena is tasked with hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D. files since her part in this mission wasn't clear yet. Scratch that, the entire mission objective wasn't even officially released to them yet. 

Yelena finished her file hacking for the day in five hours. She's so bored in the stupid apartment. She already knows the number of cracks in this place, the number of doors, sinks, cupboards, flipped through the television channels that only consisted of unreliable news channels all owned by the same company and worked out for more hours than she cared to count.

So Yelena decides to go out to explore. Although there was never a specific said rule about this, Yelena was still hesitant in the beginning because rules are never meant to be broken and most rules were unspoken, but today she finally snapped and couldn't care less. 

Never had the patience to wait anyways, which is why she would have been a terrible sniper. 

Yelena was mainly trained in intelligence retrieving, hacking and computer sciences. In the Red Room Academy, there were different departments. Data retrieval, linguistics, forensics, undercover spying, experimenting, just to name a few. Natalia was in undercover spying and occasionally dabbled in forensics or data retrieval. Evgenia was in experimenting and linguistics. It was somewhat like what Americans would call a university, with different majors and everything. The difference was that every Red Room student was proficient in all of the above, but they were sorted into departments they were the best at. 

Yelena had a mind for numbers, like an Asian, Nastya had said. Galina had whacked her on the head for the "offense" as she was part Asian, according to Madame, which was also one of the reasons why Galina was in linguistics and undercover spying. Her diverse knowledge of cultures and hunger to learn new languages and psychological tricks has really helped her case, not to mention that she was a natural at manipulation, born a psychopath. Literally, it was stated in medical records.

Yelena never really saw much of Nastya and Galina nowadays, them having already graduated as the first batch of Primas. She wonders if they are still alive.

Yelena strolls into a Starbucks coffee shop just to soak in the noise and atmosphere. Yelena liked the warmth and smell of the cozy place. 

She sneaks in and sits down in a small corner, remaining unseen.

Yelena observes everyone. She likes doing that, its a little thing she does for fun. It was also to ensure her safety, but she genuinely enjoyed it.

From bird's eye view to worm's eye view. I am in Starbucks in New York on Earth in this galaxy. I am on a chair in the north-west area of the Starbucks. I see twenty customers. I see five staff. I see a couple in the table for two area, I see ten students studying, I see three old gentlemen sitting together discussing something over coffee, I see a group of three men and two women, relatively young, about twenty five, chatting and having an afternoon snack. 

The doors slide open. A woman wearing a hoodie and sweatpants walks in. Its currently 59 Fahrenheit outside, her cheeks are tinged a slight pink. She has sweat quite a bit from how damp her hair is. She is probably ex-military from the way she walks and her build. She's about 5'8 to 6'0. She's lean, has killer cheekbones that look like they could cut glass, brunette, blue eyed.

Interesting person. She had a kind of presence about her that demanded attention and subservience and radiated composure.

Yelena takes out her phone and starts typing away.


	24. Chapter 24

2012, date redacted

Natalia trailed after Maria Hill, pretending to just go to Starbucks to buy a drink.

Maria Hill enters the cafe. Natalia rummages around in her bag, taking out her phone and some cash.

Natalia can see through the glass window, she carefully observes Maria Hill and takes note of all the customers. Twenty one, besides Maria Hill. 

Natalia sees someone familiar. She sighs and starts to type.

Natalia: Belova, fancy a cup of coffee?

Yelena: You didn't say I had to stay in the apartment, did you?

Natalia purses her lips.

Natalia: I'm tailing the target. Maria Hill, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Deputy Director. Got anything useful?

Yelena: Come and sit down

Natalia steps in and keeps an eye on Hill as she casually walks towards Yelena, sipping her frappe. Oh gods, the girl was going to get diabetes. She was already clearly addicted.

Yelena smiles as Natalia sits down. 

They share a brief hug. It feels wrong and tense.

But it is what Americans would do, so they do it.

Natalia falls into her Nova Racquel cover, smiling and begun to speak.

"Your ten o' clock, the target is unaware. We still do not know mission objectives, we will only trail. Have you learnt anything useful yet?"

"Sent a compiled file to you."

Natalia nods and they settle into silence. 

"She was involved with you before, wasn't she?"

"That's not something in the files, besides, Natasha is with her, not me."

Yelena notes the flicker in her eye. The tensing of her fingers for a slight second then relaxing. A action that Yelena herself used way too often.

"You know it's not true, you know Natalia also loves her. You were Natalia long before you were Natasha. You are confused. You don't understand what is happening to you. Red Room has planted so much disinformation and information in your head that you don't know which is real and which is fake anymore."

Natalia stares off into space.

"You see her. You know how she feels, you know how she loves, how she hates, her coffee order, what she does when she's off-duty. You want to cut that part of you out. You think its weak, you think she'll be the death of you. Your very skin can remember the feel of her, but your mind can't. It's like an itch you scratch but cant locate the cause of. You love her, but you don't even know why."

Yelena snakes a hand to Natalia's hands which have gone slack on the table.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova, Black Widow, Red Death, Slavic Shadow, Natasha Romanov, Natalie Rushman, Nicole Reeseman, Nova Racquel. Nikki Renee, Nadine, Nydia, Nora, Naomi, all your covers are being stitched together. A complete circle. Ink bleeding through the pages of a book. You don't know who you are anymore. It's why you keep chanting your name over and over again. It's better to accept what they tell you than try and untangle the messy web of your mind."

Natalia closes her eyes.

The door bell chimes as someone strides in. Yelena brings her hand away from Natalia as she snaps out of her stupor.

Yelena can feel her rage. Natalia is going to kill her, she knows. But Yelena knew Madame had sent her on a suicide mission. The least she could do is to fix the puzzle of Natalia. It's just how she operated. Nothing was left broken. Everything could be fixed.

Natalia would definitely find a way to use her and dispose her, Yelena can't fight that, she will die. In Red Room, under Natalia, because of Madame, anything. Red Room didn't just select their girls randomly, they went through intensive trials and considered many factors before they were put on waitlists, some like Natalia and Aliya had their names on the waitlists even before they were born because Zola's computer could predict that they would be valuable and dangerous assets. Yelena had seen the files, she wasn't entirely useless. She was the most talented at hacking, after all. 

Yelena is the Prima of her age. 

Natalia is going to kill her by the end of this week. She has 72 hours left. She will make use of them wisely. 

Yelena and Natalia arise before leaving with James, beckoning to them. 


	25. Chapter 25

2012, date redacted

Yelena is aware of how James's eyes flick between her and Natalia every so often. How James is aware of the tension between them. 

James briefs them on the mission. Take out Maria Hill, anyway possible. 

Natalia would be the inside worker. Get close to Sharon Carter, who was working in S.H.I.E.L.D. but soon going to be transferred to CIA, where Nova Racquel worked. Yelena was to be the technician, out of the field but the mission operative. James would be the one to kill Maria Hill with his sniper skills.

Yelena planned. She had 70 hours left.

2012, date redacted

69 hours before Yelena would die

Natalia withdraws from the mission, claiming she is compromised. 

Natalia is locked into a room and will be sent back to the Red Room.

2012, date redacted

48 hours before Yelena will die

Yelena has managed to find a loophole to the orders. Natalia is allowed to roam the apartment, but she does not want to. She sits in her meditative bubble in the one dusty room.

Yelena hardens her resolve and starts typing away.

2012, date redacted

34 hours before Yelena will die

Maria Hill receives an anonymous tip that there will be an attempt to take her life at 23 December 2012, exactly at 0200.

S.H.I.E.L.D. goes into an uproar as they place in tighter security measures. They believe HYDRA is after them now. Twenty HYDRA members have already been flushed out from S.H.I.E.L.D. 

The anonymous tip signs off as Prima.

2012, date redacted

18 hours before Yelena will die

A HYDRA operative is sent to wipe James before the mission so he will not be compromised. Natalia isn't wiped, she was to be sent to Red Room for complete reprogramming to flush out everything else that has returned. S.H.I.E.L.D. was good at de programing. Yelena hoped that Natalia wouldn't draw out her death for too long.

2012, date redacted

30 minutes before Yelena will die

Yelena dresses up and is ready to leave with James. James locks the room Natalia is in and the apartment. 

Yelena's hair is dyed bright flaming red and James hands her a photostatic mask Natalia had stolen from S.H.I.E.L.D. previously.

Yelena follows James out.

2012, date redacted

15 minutes before Yelena will die

Yelena does not want to die. Not today.

Yelena gets cold feet and runs. She runs to the Deputy Director's apartment. She runs up the stairs even as James yells into the comms.

Yelena bangs at her door. She's going to die, oh gods, she's going to die, Natalia is going to peel the skin off her slowly and make her bleed and break all her bones and wait for them to heal before breaking them in another ten places. James won't shoot her, maybe to incapacitate her, yes, but James will not kill her. HYDRA and Red Room would have his head if he did, and James was a survivor, he was to stubborn to die. 

But Natalia was desperate, and desperation made people do stupid things.

Yelena screams and bangs on the Deputy Director's door. She will not die today, she will not die today.

Ten minutes to 0200, or Yelena's death.

The door carefully opens. A gun is pointed to her face.

Yelena kneels to the ground and puts her hands up. She peels off the photostatic veil. The Deputy Director is saying something, but she can't hear anything. Everything is a buzzing noise. 

The Deputy Director makes a split second decision. She drags Yelena in and bolts the doors. James is saying something into her comms, but she can't hear. She's drowning, she's going to die.

2012, date redacted

Maria is confused. She's also having the shittiest month ever. First, Natasha leaves to hunt down Red Room, then HYDRA is apparently not dead, then HYDRA is infiltrated into S.H.I.E.L.D., then there's a tip-off of HYDRA going to kill her, then this teen shows up at her door looking like Natasha but then revealing herself to not be Natasha and is currently having a panic attack of sorts on her couch, saying that she is going to die.

Maria tries to calm the girl down. The girl suddenly pushes her down and Maria is about to shoot her when she realizes that a bullet has embedded itself into the wall.

Maria is immediately on high alert. 

Bullets rain down on them. Maria pulls the girl with her under the table and rolls behind the couch. 

"Stay here," she hisses and the girl nods.

Maria assesses the situation. Unknown sniper, mysterious girl with her, she's being shot at but she can't shoot back as the range was too far.

"Requesting back up, uninjured, unknown teen girl with me, unknown assailant, long distance sniper."

"Copy, Strike team Alpha will be coming in. Strike Team Delta is providing backup, circling neighbourhood."

"Copy, Hill out."

There are footsteps outside. The door bursts open and Maria is shooting at the person.

"Иаков, желание, ржавый, семнадцатъ, рассвет, печь, девять, добросердецный, возвращение на родину, один, грузовой вагон," the girl says.

Maria's russian issn't really the best, but she can tell that its a string of random words. Yacov, Russian for James. James was the sniper's name.

James froze. His arms went slack and he stood there, compliant.

"Солдат," the girl breathed out.

"готов соблюдать." James answers.

The girl slumps to the ground and exhales heavily.

Maria trains her gun onto the girl.

"Who are you," Maria grits out.

"I am Yelena Belova, you are Maria Christina Hill, daughter of Christina Rose Hill and Mark Hill. You are born on April 4, 1982, in Chicago Illinois. You had an abusive father because your mother died during labour, and he blames you for it. You left at 18 for the US Army and became a Marine. You were recruited by Director Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. after a mission when you were captured by a drug den that was actually HYDRA, but you didn't know it at that time. You were MIA for a week and the Director, who has been keeping an eye on you, had S.H.I.E.L.D. to intervene. It was during that mission that you met Agent Phil Coulson. You were convinced to resign from the Marines and you joined S.H.I.E.L.D. at 22 years old. You rose through the ranks quickly. You became Deputy Director in 2006. In 2007, you were assigned to handle the case of Natalia Alianovna Romanova. Natalia was sloppy. She was subdued. Agent Clinton Francis Barton brought her in. S.H.I.E.L.D. de programmed her, but not fully. S.H.I.E.L.D. implanted more false memories, telling her that she was alright and the programming that was encoded right into her brain and DNA was fully gone. But it wasn't. The programming is so deeply embedded that she will always carry the Red Room with her, hence she will always have a target on her. So S.H.I.E.L.D kept her safe. They used her skills exponentially, but was careful to never trigger her."

"Until S.H.I.E.L.D. got cocky. HYDRA managed to manipulate them into sending Natalia to a mission. HYDRA intercepted and took her. They gave her back to the Room under their partnership. In exchange, the Academy would hand over the mind stone that they had stolen under the guise of HYDRA. Natalia was reprogrammed, but S.H.I.E.L.D.'s own programming was strong too. Natalia's brain is tearing itself apart to save itself. It's kind of like Disassociative Personality Disorder, just that it was caused by all the disinformation and information. Natalia's secret to becoming these different people and covers is that she is literally them. The more covers, the more missions, the more personalities she gets, and combining that with the amount of programming and re programming and de programming and cryostasis, its quite the miracle she's even alive right now. But she has been given many serums over her span of time in the Academy. It is another factor to consider, I suppose. She's a beautiful puzzle, and of course she's like a red flag to the bulls pf secret organisations."

"That doesn't answer my question. Who are you?"

The girl, Yelena, stares back at her.

"I already told you, I am Yelena Belova, and this is what I know. In three minutes, Natalia will come to kill me, either she does or she doesn't, and I will be killed by Madame. I am offering a partnership with S.H.I.E.L.D. Information for my guaranteed safety."

'And why would we accept?"

Yelena smiles daintily.

"Because your dear Natasha's lives and Howling Commando James's lives are at stake if you don't." 


	26. Chapter 26

2012, 23 December, 0157

With that one sentence, the girl, Yelena Belova, manages to make Maria stop.

"You're with HYDRA," Maria murmurs.

"No, I'm with Red Room and Madame. HYDRA is not Red Room. Red Room does not get involved with other foreign intelligence and spy organisations. They had a partnership with HYDRA, and I fear that it is very tense now, but Red Room has managed to take some control over the Winter Soldier Programme. That's who he is. James Buchanan Barnes, or Bucky. We call him Soldat, Winter, or as Natalia does, James."

Maria filed away these pieces of information.

'We need to get out of here. I assume you know how to command the Soldier?"

"Yes, it is fairly simple."

'Good, now listen carefully."

2012, 23 December 0159

Natalia lands silently on the apartment roof of Deputy Director Maria Christina Hill.

She takes in the quietness of the surroundings. She is here for the blood of Yelena Belova, and as a bonus finish off Maria Hill. Smart little Prima, running off the stage and into the wings to the enemy for protection. She won't last long in S.H.I.E.L.D. though, they probably will use her for information then toss her away.

No, she will not kill Yelena Belova today. Perhaps another day, when she is not anticipating an attack. It is what spiders do, they creep up, unsuspecting, and bite. 

Her mission now is to recover James. The mission Madame sent them on was a suicide mission, meant to test their limits and loyalty, she knew that in the middle of New York there was no way Maria Hill could be killed. Not without revealing the Red Room to the world. Madame took risks, and they paid off. We have a mole in the den, it seems.

Natalia knows that Madame will never forgive her for losing the Soldat, however, so she must not fail.

" _You are made of marble, you will not break, you will not fail. You are a weapon designed for the glory of the Motherland. We are playing a long game of chess, Natalia. It may be one small and seemingly insignificant step forward to capture the King, but in the long run, when we proudly proclaim 'checkmate', the enemy will look back and see the web you have weaved."_

_"Yes, Madame. For the glory of the Motherland."_

Natalia raised her gun and set in the clip.

2012, 23 December 0200

A shot went through the Soldier.

Maria was not worried at first, but when she say the blood leaking through, she cursed. Of course the bullet would embed itself at the one small area that wasn't covered in tac gear, mainly, his forehead.

The Soldier grunted but gave no other reaction except to roll and end up behind the couch with Yelena and Maria.

"Status," Maria demanded.

'Blood loss rate, 200 ml per minute. Regenerative healing factor, maximum capacity. Wound will heal within ten minutes.'

"Defend Yelena. She will help you extract the bullet."

The Soldier nods. It is uncanny how like yet unlike Sergant Barnes the Soldier is.

Maria is about to move to the other end of the room when a small click resounds.

A grenade, launched from who knows where.

She curses the Strike Team for being late.

'Idens, requesting medical evac and grenade diffusion squad now!" Maria barks into the comm.

"ETA 2 minutes, it seems like we had a delay in security breach, turns out it was false information."

Maria curses again.

"Yelena, lay down. Grenade, you should know what to do."

Yelena complies, getting the Soldier with her too.

The grenade explodes and shrapnel flies.

Smoke suddenly poures into the room.

"What-?" Yelena manages to choke out.

"Smoke bomb, should have seen that coming. Yelena, hold on to the Soldier."

"Hill?"

"What," Maria asks, smoke clearing a little and allowing her to point a gun around without fear of accidentally shooting Yelena or the Soldier.

'Soldat. He's gone."

A shadow whips past Maria and Maria shoots out at the shadow. The bullet embeds itself into a random piece of furniture.

The smoke is clearing up with the open windows.

A flash of brown hair, and the Soldat disappears with another female.

Yelena is coughing slightly. 

"Hill, status. We just saw smoke. Hill?"

"Sniper is gone, rescued by another female. Brunette, about 5'4. I think its Agent Romanov."

There's a pause at the other end of the line.

"Long story, the girl and I will meet you on the roof for evac and debrief. Prepare an interrogation room. We've got a lot of things to uncover and unpack."

"Copy that, Commander Hill. Agent Idens out."

Maria sighs and gets up, body still a little sore.

"Come on Belova, lets get moving."

Maria will deal with the emotions later. She can compartmentalize, after all. She's Commander Hill, and she will not falter, will not yield.


	27. Chapter 27

2012, 23 December

"Я прошу прощения Иаков, Я прошу прощения, ты в порядке?" Natalia murmurs as she finally settles a grunting James down in a Red Room safe house.

(I'm sorry James, I'm sorry, are you okay?)

"Это нормально, Я в порядке, ты ранен?" James scans Natalia through hazy eyes, slipping in and out of consciousness. 

(Its alright, I'm okay, are you injured?)

"Не." Natalia answers and brings out a med kit. 

"I had to, you were the only viable way, there's no way I could fight you and Maria and Belova at the same time and manage to sneak you out before the backup teams came."

"I understand, it's okay, I've had worse. We both have had worse."

Natalia works in silence, extracting the bullet, cleaning the wound and applying some petroleum jelly and bandages.

"That'll do before we get back to the Room," Natalia says.

"The girl tried to trigger me," James says.

Natalia squashes down the urge to go back and end Yelena.

"She knows too much, she can hack into virtually any database, she was one of Red Room's most valuable assets in computer science. Red Room is not going to take this well," James sighs.

"Actually, I think Madame has a plan. We just have to roll with it. Can you move? What's you status?"

'Blood loss at 570 ml, slightly dizzy but will be able to function. Regenerative healing factor at 85 percent."

"I'll get into contact with the Room and request evacuation immediately. Yelena might have found out about any safehouses of Red Room, we cannot take the risk of getting with contacts too."

"I'll be up and okay in 3 hours, just let me rest and we'll hop on a plane to Massachusetts and-"

"James, if I lose you one more time, Madame will kill me and I would never forgive myself. So shut up and let me do all the plans while you sit there and rest."

"Okay okay chill! Mother hen," James grumbles as Natalia glares.

"Sleep you idiot."

James feels his eyelids sinking.

"The Commander of S.H.I.E.L.D."

"What about her?"

"You called her Maria. Not Hill, not Commander, not Deputy Director, but Maria," James observes drowsily as he falls into a slumber.

Natalia stares at James and pushes all thoughts of a certain brunette who liked to sing to Natasha when she was sad or angry, who liked to endorse Natasha in her pursuit for constant cuddles and who fit perfectly with Natasha and focused on the planning.


	28. Chapter 28

2012, date redacted

"State your name."

"Yelena Belova."

"Birth date."

"Unknown."

Agent Idens sighs and puts down his pen.

"Let's cut to the real talk here, we're going to forgo the useless small talk, sounds good?"

"Yes Sir."

"You are claiming to be a student of the Red Room, is that right?"

"Yes Sir."

'You claim that the Red Room has risen from the ashes again, is that right?"

"Well both metaphorically and figuratively. Natalia did destroy all Red Room facilities, but she forgot that a facility is just a place without the people using it."

"How long have you been in the Red Room?"

Agent Idens' tone, layered with heavy dominance, made Yelena frown slightly.

"Long enough to know that your faux, over-the-top alpha persona isn't real. Your investigation technique is worse than mine, and that's actually saying something."

"I did say we'll cut the pleasantries," Agent Idens answers, seemingly unconcerned by the retort.

Yelena knew better. She saw the bristle the jab gave him. Men, always needing women to feed their ego. Pathetic. 

"How about we send Commander Hill in? She's definitely watching this record. I'd like to speak to her."

"Commander Hill is watching, but she will not be sent in to this interrogation."

Yelena's eyes narrow at that. So she needs to be taken seriously first, huh? 

"I'll tell you how long I've been in the Red Room for. Pass me a laptop or a phone. Can be your S.H.I.E.L.D. phones. You can monitor me and put me in handcuffs or point a gun at me, I don't mind."

Agent Idens considers.

Yelena awaits.

"Alright, but is this necessary to your interrogation?"

Yelena smiles. She knows she hasn't perfected the razor sharp smile of Galina or the sultry smirk of Natalia or just Aliya's poker face, but the predatory intent in her eyes is enough. She is the Prima of her age. She is glorious, she is the best.

"Very, I can assure you," Yelena answers sweetly, injecting honey-like poison into her voice.

Agent Idens nods and a small opening to the wall opens. A laptop is handed to Agent Idens.

Agent Idens passes Yelena a laptop.

He's clearly listening to people on the other end of his comms.

Yelena begins.

2012, date redacted

Natalia and James land at the outskirts of the Red Room facility in some part of Northwest Russian-Novaya Zemlya tundra.

Natalia and James head to Madame's office for debrief and further instructions.

As they make their way up the wooden stairs with silent footfalls that automatically merge into one, Natalia's head is rearing.

Maria. Maria Christina Hill. Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Who loves Natasha and perhaps Natalia.

Natalia steels herself as she walks into Madame's office.

Natalia takes in her surroundings. Everytime she comes in, it is a different scene, a different office.

This time, it half white half black. The flooring is marble, like the ones in the place Natalia used to train in somewhere in Belgorod.

There is a person, a girl, stretched out on a medical bed beside Madame's table. Madame herself is dressed immaculately in a pressed dark blue suit and office skirt, complete with a inky black blouse. She had her hair blond, a change from the brown when Natalia last saw her.

Brown, like Maria's.

Natalia and James waited, closing the door silently and standing thirty centimetres away from the table out of respect and protocol. 

"You have failed, and succeeded at the same time."

Natalia tries not to flinch at the disapproving tone that sounded strangely proud.

"As you might have deduced, I sent the three of you on an impossible mission. One to test your strengths, your adaptibility, and most importantly, your loyalties," Madame continues.

"You have passed, both of you. Your handler will be proud, Soldier. Or should I say, James?"

"Thank you Madame."

"I did not ask you to speak."

James falls silent.

"Natalia. You brought back James. Not the Soldier, not Winter. We do not need James. He is redundant to us. HYDRA will take care of him. I think Yelena did a mighty fine job, didn't she? Subtly manipulating James instead of you. You fell pray to James a long time ago Natalia. Don't think we don't know that. Do you need us to go through what happens in the field when you are weak?"

Natalia stays silent. She knows the answer.

"Alexei Shostakov, he was a good man. But you condemned him with your web. What you touch becomes prey or falls apart to ashes, Natalia. I don't think you fully understand the Black Widow programme and the power you have."

Madame lays a hand on the medical bed beside her.

Natalia keeps her eyes trained on Madame.

"Go on, have a look."

Natalia briefly glances over the girl. She's pale and clammy, fingers and toes twitching every so often. Her pale nightgown was dirty and unwashed, the brown a clear contrast to the snow white skin and platinum blonde hair.

"This is Evgenia. She was one of the other Primas who volunteered to take the serum. You may remember her."

Lava burning through her, tearing her apart from the inside as she forced herself not to scream.

"Evgenia recently developed some, talents, I would call it." Madame continues, seemingly oblivious to Natalia.

"HYDRA gave us a faulty batch. A batch that was experimented on with an infinity stone, the Mind Stone. They wanted to see the results. I sent you and Yelena off to go on a mission, with the protection of the Soldier. I knew that once you three left, one of you would betray the country, betray Red Room. We may have chosen the best of the best, but loyalties are a tricky thing. Give a rat that has been eating apples its whole life a slice of cheese, and no matter how small, it will crave the cheese like its a reprieve to the torture of eating apples again."

"In case you or Yelena blew each other to pieces to fight each other, or accidentally used any developed powers to destroy something, the Soldier would be there to assist. I didn't count on the fact that Evgenia would, too, do so, and develop powers far more powerful than she could handle."

Madame gave a pause.

"She was remade with the power of Death, it seemed, given by the Lady and Goddess of Death herself, Hela. But alas, she was not well prepared for it. She killed a great many HYDRA agents that happened to come to check on the progress of her. We have managed to put her under stable conditions and she shall remain in cryostasis until further notice. I understand that Yelena has developed some sort of mind reading and memory recovery powers, correct?"

Natalia nods, shoving down a bought of anger as she remembered the times Yelena had tried to use the gifts on her.

"I'll have to put you in another place for now Natalia. You are also at risk."

Natalia tenses for a second before relaxing, but Madame caught the moment of sudden dissent.

"Is that a no, Natalia? You have already jeopardized the mission and now, with Yelena on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s side, she is bound the spill everything. HYDRA and Red Room need time to regroup. You must stay under observation, or James and anyone near you will be at risk of dying probably gruesome deaths. The Mind Stone is a very volatile stone. Many HYDRA agents have been killed before they found a way to contain it properly. Believe it or not, I do care about the Red Room, For the safety of all inside the Red Room, you will be under lockdown, understood?"

"Yes Madame."

"Good. James, I believe you know where to go?"

James nods and leaves without a second glance.

Natalia's ears are ringing, but she stands and waits for agents to come in and bring her to the place she will be locked in for who knows how long.

_You destroy everything to touch, you are the Black Widow, your web is deadlier than ever now._

But what happens if there was a hole in her web?

_You patch it up. You remake the parts. Or you could always weave a new one, a fresh start._

A fresh start. She liked the sound of that. 

First, get through the solitary lockdown. Then, find Yelena Belova, kill her and the Commander, and prove herself loyal.

One more name to her kill list.

Natalia smirks, and the sudden movement makes one agent, (HYDRA, Natalia sees the logo on the field suit), shiver.

Good, it should.

"Я Черная Вдова, и Я верен Красная Комната."

Natalia laughs, head throbbing suddenly, rage filling her as she thought about how she was going to slowly, intimately slice Yelena up and make the world watch and then blame it all on S.H.I.E.L.D. later and make S.H.I.E.L.D. collapse from within.

Natalia chuckles as they dress her in complete white and scrub her clean and shove her into a cube of white.

She is the Black Widow, a series of truthful lies, a blank canvas waiting to be painted, a ballerina in a musical box, ready to spring out and be whatever someone needed them to be, and she would not fail.


	29. Chapter 29

2012, date redacted

Maria Hill has been operating on autopilot mode for the past 36 hours and 24 minutes.

She has had ten coffees, all strong and black, and she is still standing, which is a good thing. Fury's not even blurry!

Wait, Nick-

"Hill, Hill."

Maria snaps to attention.

"Yes Sir," she automatically says. 

Nick, that motherfucker, looks amused.

Maria mentally slaps herself.

It was a habit from the Marines. She had only painstakingly gotten rid of it by the end of three months in her first year at S.H.I.E.L.D. but it came back sometimes when she was tired.

Fury never failed to tease her about it, then send her to go to her quarters for a nap.

"We've locked down the location of six Red Room facilities the girl has managed to find. When you're well rested, I need you to see to it that Strike Teams are sent to each of the locations to scrounge around."

"Understood. I'll go and get a look at the files-"

Maria stands up in a bid to head down to control towers but Fury, that one eyed bastard, uses his full body to block her.

"We need our best agents **fully** awake, and I don't mean fueled by coffee. This is Red Room we're talking about, who is partnering with HYDRA and managed to produce little Romanovas and Belovas and Dorothy Underwood. We need to be on our A game. Now, you get some sleep or I will lock you with Belova for the rest of the missions ahead, understood?"

Maria grumbles, but nods.

Nick steps out of the way.

"See you in a while Director Dad," Maria teases.

"Fuck you, you were already a handful, now there's Barton and Romanoff and Stark."

"I love you too Dad!" Maria yells.

"Children," Fury mutters with a small smile on his scarred face that he can't seem to fight off.

Maria comes round the corner again to give him the finger.

Fury shakes his head.

What was he going to do with these four self-destructing, stubborn kids.

2012, date redacted

Yelena sits in silence.

It's like she's spectating from an outsider's point of view.

She feels strangely detached from herself.

The door opens and Yelena squints a bit to see.

"Good morning Belova. We've got a mission for you."

Yelena swings her legs over the bunk to get up.

"Field or tactics?"

"Tactics. Your talents are better used there," Commander Hill replies.

"You'll be with me for the day. We're going to be going through a short briefing on all the things you need to know for tactics. You'll probably catch on fast enough. Tomorrow, depending on how fast you move today, we'll be putting your skills to the test. You're going to be handling a mission, with my help of course. The agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. don't know who you are yet, some might think you're weak, but you're going to prove those bastards wrong," Maria says with a small smile.

"On one condition, can I get a frappuccino afterwards?"

2012, date redacted

Natalia is bored. Bored doesn't quite capture it. She's so bored she would have traded her finger for some time to wander around something that was not this stupid white cube.

Her finger would grow back anyways. She's gotten one cut off once, but the serum grew it back after two months. Somehow, but if it helped her she wouldn't judge.

Natalia's meditated for what feels like 16 hours. She's tried to play a game with the blanket she got, counting the hours that have passed with the food and water that gets delivered every probably eight hours, assuming the timings are regular. 

A bored assassin is never a good thing, Madame had once said.

Once upon a time if she were bored, she would have a, gone to James to spar (she pushes out the little flare of guilt for what she's done to James and what they were probably doing to him now), b, learnt a new skill, be it a new language, a new fighting move, some new science fact or little piece of history of the world, anything. Or c, Madame would have sent her on a mission, somehow seeing right through Natalia's blank facade and spotting the jittery tension in Natalia's movements.

Of course, none of these were possible in her current predicament.

Fucking HYDRA.

Natalia sighs and ties and unties her blanket into knots again.

2012, date redacted

Maria was honestly impressed with Yelena.

Even Nat had taken a few days to get all of the controls and their functions and the tactics division rules and more, but Yelena could regurgitate everything within 18 hours. 

Probably because Yelena sincerely loved all the tech around. It was like giving Tony a new element to play around with.

Maria bought the girl a frappuccino, because she'd never go back on her word.

2012, date redacted

Yelena spends her free time in her new room searching up about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s past. She wanted to see if Red Room had messed with her memories too, and whether the things she remembered or had learnt through other students and agents were true.

She managed to find a little about herself, that she was born in Budapest, Hungary. That was all. No records of her parents, no relatives, nothing.

She searches up about Natalia. She accesses a few missions before she feels sick. No, this was going a bit too far with Natalia. She knew way too much about her, it made her feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

She doesn't wonder how Maria Hill loves Natalia. Of course she does, Natalia has always had this natural aura about her that made her well-liked, eveyrthing must have gone on from there. Somehow Yelena doubted that Natalia would seduce and fuck the Commander until they fell in love. That was how Natalia did it with men, and from Yelena's understanding, especially from her little chats with the older girls, they liked to keep a distinct barrier between their life as Black Widows and their own daily routines.

Which is why Natalia would flirt and tease and seduce James, James would respond and tease right back, but they were nothing but allies, and perhaps friends, behind closed doors.

Yelena wants to visit Budapest to find out more about her parents, she doesn't remember anything from her childhood but the cold river and she pushes that out of her head.

She wants some semblence of identity. She needs it, craves it. The more she thinks about it the more it burns.

She'll make that her objective once Red Room is taken down.


	30. Chapter 30

2012, date redacted

"Belova," Maria greets Yelena.

Yelena looks up from her tablet. She had recently gotten this game called piano tiles and it was really addictive. Plus, good music.

"It's Deccember 25th today."

Yelena stares back blankly at Maria.

"It's Christmas, and Nick wants to get all of us out for a day, go visit some new country or place, I don't know, but he says and I quote, 'You people better get out and come back refreshed, so help me if I see another Agent that looks like a zombie from The Walking Dead'."

"So I'm staying with the Director? Are we going to do paperwork together or something?"

"No silly, although we could get Nick to come along. We're going to any place you choose. And by you choose, I meant the Wheel, trademark. We've got this wheel, a dumb tradition that Barton invented. You have to meet our resident Bird Brain someday, he's already gone off. But anyways, he and Sharon Carter, a good friend of mine, got bored one day and decided to make a wheel of fortune to decided where to go next for their vacation. Long story short, they brought it out during Christmas and its tradition now," Maria says, shrugging at the 'are you joking' face Yelena was probably giving her.

"Come along now, we'd better not be late. Sharon's gone to visit her Aunt Peggy so she won't be joining us this time, perhaps next year."

"Wait, the Peggy Carter? As in the-"

"Founder of S.H.I.E.L.D., well co-founder actually, Howard Stark was the other, yes, she is Sharon's aunt."

Yelena hums.

"Can we go visit her? Its fine if we go somewhere else later, just that it would be nice to meet her."

"Agent Carter, well, she has begun to show symptoms of dementia, so I do think it would be a good thing to visit her, get her some flowers although they are kind of useless, but its the thought that counts. I'll call Sharon. You want to go anywhere else? Try your luck on the Wheel?"

Yelena sees the agents spinning the huge wheel on the main deck, sees the smiles and laughter and them all dressed in civilian clothing, while she and Maria are still dressed in S.H.I.E.L.D. issued clothes and field suit. Sees the merriness and camaradie. She isn't made for that, and by Maria's sad but also joyous gaze at the crowd, at the agent who just got to go to the Maldives, she knows how much she misses and is worried for ~~Natalia~~ Natasha.

"No, its fine, I don't think I'm ready for that," Yelena faintly says.

Maria (when did she become Maria?) nods in understanding, takes Yelena's hand like she's a child (she's 15, but she stands at 150 cm and Maria is 175 cm, or in American measurements 5'9, so it probably does seem like she's a child and Maria's a mom), and they head off to pack.

2012, 25 December

Natalia is so so bored, she's going crazy.

She nearly shredded her blanket from tying and untying the knots viciously, but she wanted the comfort of it, so she restrained herself and did 1000 push ups in a row to get some of that pent up tension out.

She needed entertainment, fast, or she was going to really consider doing some cult ritual thing she saw a cult she had to take down do, summon a demon, trade her finger (scratch that, she'll make it two fingers) and bargain for her to have some entertainment.

She huffs and collapses to the floor.

Her mattress looked like it was smiling back tauntingly at her.

Then the reinforced vault door opened.

Natalia sat up.

Someone pushed a girl in.

The door promptly slammed shut.

It's Evgenia, looking terrified.

Natalia smiles.

Ooh, her calls have been answered. She's got a new playmate.


	31. Chapter 31

2012, date redacted

Evgenia stares back at Natalia. Natalia does seem a little crazed, with her brown hair in a mess and green, moss eyes shining.

But it was razor sharp awareness that made Evgenia realise that she was just scoping out the danger.

Evgenia shrunk in onto herself.

Natalia smiles, and it is more of showing those sharp canines than a smile.

Natalia, Evgenia had learnt from Marinochka who had learnt from Dima, a student of graduating batch 1998 and came back to serve the Room, was born with eight canines. Four were plucked out, Marinochka had claimed, when Natalia bit a handler until his flesh was ripped out and he was screaming in agony.

The bright white light gleamed and everything, every single stupid thing except for Natalia's and her hair, was white. Evgenia knew what this was, she was in the Scientific department. It was a sensory deprivation, a slow method of torture. But what exactly had Natalia done to end up here? What mistake did she make? Or was this part of her training, learning how to get used to and adapt to methods of torture.

Evgenia knew why she was here. It was for punishment. For killing all those agents and further straining the HYDRA and Red Room partnership. Putting her in the same room as Natalia was bound to get messy.

Natalia blinked at Evgenia who had gotten lost in her thoughts.

Natalia, thankfully, backed off for the time being. 

Evgenia would be sleeping on the floor tonight. At least there weren't the handcuffs, she soothes herself as she lays down on the cool marble flooring.

Evgenia rubs her wrists unconsciously.

She falls asleep despite the lingering fear of Natalia ending her in her sleep, or any other Instructors or handlers or agents.

2012, date redacted

Evgenia is a mystery she wants to figure out, Natalia decides, as she watches Evgenia lay down at the other end of the giant white cube. 

Evgenia seems to be deep in thought, rubbing her wrists.

Natalia glances down at her own. 

Despite having the serums, Natalia wasn't completely free from scars. She had many of them, and she quite liked them. They showed her that what she had gone through was real. That they weren't just a figment of Natalia's imagination.

Natalia chose to wear her scars like crowns and victory medals. It was her body, although she belonged to the Red Room. It showed that she wasn't a damsel in distress, that she was a survivor. She had to fight like hell to make it this far, the scars showed that and more.

But after the serum, most of the injuries she had sustained didn't leave any scars. It drove her mad sometimes, that she couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't, but sometimes life was unfair. 

Besides, she knew her worth, she is the Black Widow, Slavic Shadow, Red Death, and she was her own woman, first, last and always.

"I will not fail," Natalia whispers into nothing as she stares blankly at her already worn-out and ragged blanket.

"I will not break."

"I will not falter."

Natalia turns lay on her back, now looking at the ceiling. She pictured the night sky. The breaking dawn. The cycle of day and night. It was constant, never changing. Not even alien kings could change that.

"I will **not** yield," Natalia whispers with finality, curling and uncurling her fingers as she lay there and simmered.

In the surveilence room, Madame B smiled. 

2012, 25 December 1200

"Sharon!" Maria smiled and hugged the blond.

"Hey Maria, how's life at S.H.I.E.L.D.? Kicked any recruit's ass again? Who's that?"

"Oh this is Helen, I hope you don't mind, but she'll be staying for a while."

"Oh no, its fine, I'll just have to get out another mattress. Although, what are you doing with the kid?"

"It's, complicated," Maria silently communicated with Sharon.

Yelena looked between the two.

"Are you two, you know, having sex? Lovers?"

Maria and Sharon both turned to look at Yelena, disgust evident on their faces.

"Ew, no, Maria's like my sister, that would be wrong, at least I was raised to think so."

"Good, because if you played Natalia," Yelena looked mildly threatening to Maria.

"Helen, I would never betray Natasha. It's not what lovers do. If a partner betrayed the other then they aren't really lovers, are they?"

Yelena shrugs, but is satisfied with the answer. Natalia may have tried to kill her, but Yelena knew Natasha. She had seen into her mind, it wasn't too pretty, but she felt like she knew Natalia. Natalia may have tried to kill her, but Yelena had a certain degree of liking and respect for her.

Sharon looks at Yelena and eyes her.

Yelena is wearing her long sleeved sweater and a thermal parka from S.H.I.E.L.D., Maria insisting that she may be Russian but so help her if she developed a cold (Yelena didn't want to tell her that she got some of the serum in the Winter Soldier and that she was basically immune to colds, or she hoped so at least) Fury was going to have her hide and adopt her into what Barton calls the happy go murder family.

Yelena stares back unflinchingly. Let her see the demon underneath the innocent facade, let her feel the irresistable pull of the Prima, of the Red Room Academy student, of the natural lure of the lightness and demureness of a prima ballerina.

Sharon blinks and looks away.

"Peggy's in there, go say hi," Sharon finally says, breaking the connection between Yelena and her.

Yelena's smile widened and she followed Maria in.

Sharon stares after the two figures, closing the door.

2012, date redacted

Yelena sees the great Margaret 'Peggy' Carter. Lying on a bed, solving a puzzle.

"Maria, how lovely to see you! Sharon was just telling me about you again, I do apologise, my memory isn't exactly in its prime."

Maria smiles and leans down to give Peggy a hug.

Peggy sees Yelena and cocks her head.

"You and Nat settled down?"

Maria winced.

"No, not really. Helen, this is Peggy Carter."

Peggy was eying her, sizing her up.

Yelena observes Peggy. Seconds slow to milliseconds and nanoseconds.

Yelena reaches out to pull her into an embrace, then kissing each side of her cheeks, preferring to greet the Russian way.

Peggy complies.

Yelena continues observing her.

Maria and Peggy fall into a chat as Yelena stares hard at Peggy's twitching hand.

Hands, it seems, reveal a lot.

"Why Helen is a beautiful name, did she come to America recently?"

Defect, she defected. Oh gods, she defected to America. The very thing Natalia had done years ago.

"Why yes, she's a relative of Nat's actually." 

They had chosen to go with that cover story, that Yelena was a relative of Natalia from Australia. Her parents were recently killed in a plane crash and Yelena, with no other immediate family, was going to live with Natalia and Maria.

Peggy looks at her curiously again.

"Peggy Carter. Marinochka once said something about you."

"Do pray tell, what is it?"

Yelena settles into her seat.

"That you managed to ensnare Dorothy Underwood. That you managed, in your own twisted way, to fall for her and she did too. She died, because she was distracted. Too busy saving you. That's what the records say."

Peggy's smile drops off her face. Maria is tense, expecting the unknown to happen.

Yelena chuckles and stares right into the depths of Peggy Carter's eyes.

"You married Daniel Sousa because you wanted to distract yourself. He was the furthest away from what darling Dottie was. He was there, he was convenient, you lied to yourself and told yourself that you were in love with him, when deep down you know you belonged to Dottie Underwood, who you thought was lying in a grave somewhere. That's what they told you, that's what the reports said."

Peggy was now listening deeply.

Yelena smiles. She does now see the benefits of a good audience.

"Underwood was taken by Red Room again. With the power of cryostasis, she was used as a Madame. She was my Madame and Natalia's for some time. The current Madame's identity is unknown, but she definitely isn't Dottie. I'm not really sure where she fled to, or if she's dead. Perhaps I could scrounge around the mouse den, see what I can scavenge."

Peggy's jaw, which had been on the verge of dropping to the floor, had closed into a grimace.

"Peggy," Maria begun.

"You're not really Helen, are you? Lets see, Helen in Russian is technically Yelena. So you're Yelena?"

Yelena nods.

"Carter, I need you to tell me truthfully. Would you, truly, welcome Dottie Underwood back with open arms? Did you love her? No, do you love her?"

Peggy looked at Yelena dead in the eye.

"If you say no, then I won't chase the thread unless I find it necessary to my missions. If you say yes, then I'll help."

"The thread is cold. I've tried, trust me."

"You're just not searching the right places. That, I can do. Red Room has lost a valuable weapon, it is now regrouping, healing its tense partnership with HYDRA, especially since Natalia put a bullet into Soldat's forehead to bring him along on her escape. She's going to kill me soon, unless she's punished."

Maria and Peggy's eyes flash. 

"I heard that they've built new toys to play with. To take someone out apart and put them back in again without having to touch them or harm them physically. That's probably something the Science department suggested," Yelena muses.

Maria looks mildly horrified but mostly burning with rage. A cold rage. The sort of icy one that stings. 

"I can track Underwood down, if you want me to. She might have some intel on Red Room that I didn't know. There's only so much I can find out from data banks and resources."

"Track her down. And when you find her, tell her that she's being idiotic and a prat," Peggy finally decides.

Yelena's head is throbbing from all the effort to pull out Peggy's memories, but she hides the pain well.

"Yes Ma'am," Yelena respectfully says before the nurse opens the door and tells them that visiting hours are over.

Sharon brings them to her apartment, occasionally giving quick glances at Yelena.

2012, 26 December

"Holy shit," Sharon breathes out when Maria starts informing her of the entire story, including what just happened.

"Yeah, I'm so fucking worried for Nat. I miss her, and she might be out there as Natalia again, going through whatever Red Room tells her to do, but I've been trying so hard to keep an unbiased approach because I'm the fucking Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and I am not going to compromise this mission because I love Nat," Maria chokes back tears as she lays on the couch.

The distant sound of water comes from the bathroom, where Yelena was currently showering in.

"It's going to be okay Maria. Romanoff's tough, she'll definitely get herself out of this."

"Yeah, she'd do whatever it takes to get out of Red Room's clutches. But sometimes, things just don't go as planned, you know?"

Sharon hugs Maria.

Maria dissolves into it.

They stay like that for some time, Sharon leaning over to hug Maria who was collapsed on the couch.

'Okay Sharon, let go. My leg's numb already, you're getting fat with that desk job," Maria gruffly says.

Sharon lets go and scowls.

"Ass. I'll go run some errands, you going to cook or do I have to buy food?"

'Pizza sounds good. Living the American dream," Maria sarcastically clinks an imaginary glass of beer against the air.

"Alright you grouch, see ya."

"See you in some time Sharon."

The door closes and Maria sighs, closing her eyes.

When she wakes up from the nap she accidentally took, Yelena was sitting at the window of the living room.

"Hey kid, why are you sitting there?"

No response.

"Yelena?"

Still no response. Yelena is just gazing out into the horizon, staring at the setting sun.

Maria gets up to sit beside Yelena.

They sit in silence for a long time.

"She loves you," Yelena softly says.

Maria knew she meant Natasha.

"I may have accidentally searched her memories. Multiple times. But in the spur of the moment. I saw some... snippets. Of her life. The fire. The training. The pointe shoes that she burnt. The days with James. The fall of Red Room. The defeat of the Black Widow. Then I saw her, the perfect tool and weapon I thought I knew, thought I could somewhat relate to in a sense of sisterhood like you and the Carter woman. She was reborn from a fire, I was fished out from a river. She became Black Widow, I became the Prima. It's like a parallel, a sick twisted one."

"I watched her fall in love. I watched the two of you dance like you were born to do it, like you two were **meant** to find each other."

"I watched her dance ballet for you. I saw you sing for her. I, naturally, was curious. It was like a drug. I wanted to see more. I craved it. I didn't exactly want to be her or you, I wanted to watch."

"I watched the two of you love. Of course, I skipped the more intimate parts, that was going a bit too far. But I saw her, the Black Widow, who killed her best friend in training because Madame commanded her to and so she did, the same little girl who stole a rubber band of that same friend to keep. Her name was Alina. She could have been just like Natashenka, we don't know. She could have been the best, she could have failed, but we won't know, would we? She's dead. She's just a memory."

"I decided to betray Natashenka, betray James, betray Madame, betray my Motherland because I didn't want to die. Madame had a special line for each of us us. Natashenka has four, because she is that strong. I have one. It's 'You die twice, first when you get buried to the ground, the second is the last time someone says your name, passes on your legacy'. I didn't want to die," Yelena repeats.

Maria smiles wearily. It is the smile of those who have seen too much. Of those who have seen too much, and survived, but were so, so tired.

Maria wraps an arm around Yelena's shoulders. Yelena tenses but relaxes into the half embrace.

The sun is nearly all set. The sky is already darkening. It is peaceful, tranquil, unlike the turmoil in the two females' minds.

"Could you, perhaps, sing? You have a very nice voice."

Maria bites her lip, tears of rage and anger and sorrow and love slip down her face.

Maria closes her eyes and leans her head on Yelena's shoulders. The tears stain Maria's jacket that smells like **home** and **Natasha**.

"I can't I'm sorry. I can't." Maria whispers shakily.

Yelena smiles grimly and silent tears slip down her face too.

Soon, Yelena's shaking and Maria pulls her in.

Pathetic, she just met Maria days ago and Maria has managed to pull down so many of her walls already.

But her touch is soothing. Her presence wasn't intruding, wasn't commanding. It felt good. Like Maria was the мама she never had.

Yelena lets Maria run her fingers through her hair and Yelena falls asleep crying.

"Nat, I love you, come back please," Maria murmurs and prays to every single deity out there to just **please bring Nat, her Nat, Nattie, back.**

Maria stares at the dark night sky and hopes.

2012, 26 December

Peggy Carter fingers the lipstick she kept for years.

Sweet Dreams Lipstick.

She sets it down and pulls the covers over herself.


	32. Chapter 32

2012, date redacted

Natalia sighs. She wanted to do something, to not just lie around and stay useless. Perhaps she could spar with Evgenia, or figure out more about her, but it wouldn't be worth it. With how Evgenia was doing, she was going to self-destruct. Like a ticking time bomb.

Natalia glances at the girl who had wrapped her arms around her knees, pulled her legs to her chest and was rocking back and forth.

Natalia sighs again, carding her fingers through her hair in hope of untangling the knots. No such thing happening, of course. She hadn't gotten a bath in forever, the food and water that always came seemed like ages ago, and she hates the brown hair. Hates the way it reminds her of Maria, hates the way that with her freedom, her mind, already with loose threads, was beginning to unravel like a ball of yarn. 

All because of Yelena. When Natalia gets her hands on her...

Natalia does sit ups to keep herself occupied.

2012, date redacted

Yelena has begun to integrate herself into S.H.I.E.L.D. life. She showed up for training sessions for the level 3 recruits like her, always taking care to come out average in the results. 

She could easily beat all of the agents at her level with one hand ties behind her back, the serum and training as a Prima made sure of that.

Her last mission, a scout mission, had gone well. She had tracked down known associates of HYDRA, at least previously, and under the guidance of Maria handled her first S.H.I.E.L.D. op.

It shouldn't have felt like a victory, but it did nontheless.

Yelena also started to spend time with Clint. She's the only one to call Clint Clint in the small group of her, Maria, Clint and Sharon.

Clint also helped her in her accuracy problems, giving her good tips on positioning and provided her with a ready supply of frappuccinos. He also downloaded piano tiles to play with her in the league competitions.

It was nice, having people who didn't judge you because of what you have done.

She must admit, she does like this rag-tag bunch, and it has only been a week or so at S.H.I.E.L.D. but if anything happened to Maria, Sharon or Clint she would kill everyone in this room and resurrect the three. 

Yelena laughed, squashed in between Clint and Maria on the couch in Maria's huge quarters that had a large projector and served as a movie theatre. She's never felt this happy and relaxed before. She hasn't even used her powers on Clint and Sharon. She'd take this as a victory.

2012, date redacted

He screams as they wipe him again and again just because they could, and would punish the Winter Soldier.

He is a toy to be taken out and put away again, it was time for him to relearn what the idiot Russian lady had untaught him.


	33. Chapter 33

2012, date redacted

Natalia scrapes her nails against her skin, drawing blood.

She watches it roll down her palm with some sort of detachment.

She looks up. Evgenia is staring.

Natalia traces her palm. She has heard about life lines and such things, she never really believed their voodoo things. 

The door opens.

Natalia and Evgenia break their silent staring and look up. It is the Soldat.

"Get up Natalia," he simply says and turns around without another word.

Something like hurt pinches Natalia, they've wiped him again, this time very hard.

Natalia gets up and follows.

2012, date redacted

Natalia is shoved into a seat. It's the same seat, a barbershop seat. The same cracks are there. The same lines, the same feel, except slightly damp. Her palm is still bleeding, but it is healing, wound clotting. 

Natalia is wiped again.

2012, date redacted

They bring her out another time, this time a faceless agent. The Soldat is waiting for her in the room, but she does not see the seat.

Natalia looks around in confusion.

There's only a post made of some metal in the middle of the room and chains.

Natalia is forced onto her knees as they tie her up. She tests the restraints. They are strong, they're going to be hard to get out of, but she was the Black Widow, this was not going to keep her bound.

The Soldat strides over with cool, blank detachment. Where the Soldat was empty, Natalia was cold. Where the Soldat was patient, Natalia was quick and mean.

She swallows a bowl of vile stuff that the Soldat pushes to her lips.

Her throat burns and her insides scream with protest, but she does not give any reaction besides a small grimace, quickly set into a blank look.

Then, the Soldat sits down. It's pretty anticlimatic.

At first, there's nothing except the piss poor aftertaste of whatever was in that bowl.

The steady drip drip of her blood is the only thing to be heard. The Soldat is barely breathing, Natalia concentrating.

_Drip, drip._

And the memories come.

2012, date redacted

_Maria's carding her fingers through Natasha's hair. Natasha makes a noise that sounds like a purr._

_"Cat, you and Liho could make friends," Maria laughs as Natasha wiggles under Maria's arm to lay on her lap._

_"Don't make me slap you Hill," Natasha murmurs._

_Maria raises an eyebrow and stops her paperwork._

_Maria snorts and untangles her fingers from Natasha's hair._

_Natasha pouts at the lack of attention. She wasn't usually this clingy, but she very much missed Maria after her trip to a meeting overseas with the WSC. She was gone for a week, and when she came back she relaxed a little with Natasha, they had cuddled under the sheets for a few hours and then Maria had to start work all over again because there had been a recent spike in undone paperwork and so many medical reports to file away because suddenly the agents became stupid or just had bad luck._

_Natasha twines herself to straddle Maria. Maria briefly gives Natasha a peck before continuing her paperwork._

_Natasha starts with the light teasing, a nibble here under her ear, a lick at her pulse point, some sucking to top it off._

_Natasha had a tendency to mark Maria and claim her as hers with bites and hickeys. Maria's office always had long sleeved sweaters with turtle necks and pairs of slacks for that particular reason._

_Maria doesn't speak, but tilts her head to allow more access._

_Natasha smirks and continues to distract Maria from her work. She sucks and bites with a fervour now, arms shifting to unhook Maria's bra from under her shirt so that she can slide them off._

_Maria calmly continues with her paperwork due in three hours._

_Natasha brings her hand to the front of Maria's chest and teases Maria's nipples, pinching them and making Maria shake from self-restraint._

_Natasha pulls Maria's hair from her bun, all the while continuing her slow exploration of the familiar landscape of Maria. She glides her hands over Maria's abs, down Maria's sexy lean legs ( Maria was wearing boxer shorts only. Convenient) and back up._

_Natasha nuzzles into Maria's neck and grinds into Maria._

_Maria lets out a shaky exhale. Natasha smiles._

_She shifts herself to reach a good angle and her legs are clamped around Maria's thigh. She starts to grind into Maria's thigh, gripping Maria tightly._

_"Nat," Maria protests weakly._

_Natasha moans softly into Maria's ear._

_"Nat, I have to get this done."_

_Natasha doesn't take no for an answer. She's Maria Hill, she can finish a whole 10000 word report on production of water bottles in two hours. She can handle the paperwork once Natasha had her way with Maria._

_Natasha guides one of Maria's hand under the large hoodie she was wearing, one of Maria's._

_Maria groans as she finds Natasha's soaking wet panties._

_Natasha brings Maria's hand to stroke her clit and god it feels amazing._

_Maria pinches the bud of Natasha's clit and Natasha gasps and lets out a whimper._

_Maria breaks and in one smooth movement Natasha is in Maria's arms and Maria somehow manages to continue teasing Natasha's folds even as she runs down the hallway into the bedroom._

_Maria fucks Natasha for an hour until Natasha is damn near collapsing._

_Natasha's eyes fall shut._

2012, date redacted

Natalia's eyes snap open. She's disorientated and woozy from the memory. She briefly registers to Soldat scooting closer to Natalia.

"What did you see?" Winter asks.

"I saw Maria."

"She loves you?"

"She loves Natasha," Natalia automatically answers.

"Your covers all have your initials, Natalia. Whether you like it or not, your covers are all you, including Natasha Romanov. You have chosen to be these people, and that makes you them. So tell me, Natasha. Why do you think you're recovering all these memories of the Commander of S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"I will not be weak again, I am Natalia Alianovna Romanova, and I am the Black Widow. You're asking me to answer under the guise of my cover. I will tell you. I see my love, my Masha. I see how she looks at me, like there's nothing else in the world better than me. I see how beautiful and competent and strong she is. Happy, or do I have to tell you how her tongue feels in my cunt?" 

The Soldat blinks. 

"Was there even a point to this?" Natalia asks impatiently.

"Madame will not tolerate insubordination," the Soldat growls.

Natalia stares straight back at him.

Drip drip.

Natalia nods once, sharply and jerkily.

"You will remain here. You don't even think about trying to escape. The metal's vibranium, the strongest metal on earth."

"Ulysse Klaus," Natalia notes, eyeing the chains that strapped her whole body to the pole and the handcuffs cuffed to the pole as well.

The Soldat neither confirmed nor denied.

"You'll have your fun with the other guys that are going to come in later. Try not to break them," the Soldat said before disappearing.

2012, date redacted

Natalia was untied to have some playtime with a few enemies Red Room needed to destroy.

Natalia toyed with them for 4 hours before they broke. Impressive, for the men. Especially even after Natalia chopped off their favourite part, they only caved in when Natalia begun to break bones. 


	34. Chapter 34

2012, date redacted

He had to be impressed at Madame. Her method to unravel Natalia was very creative, and it worked.

Natalia was remembering so much from her past, albeit in scrambled pieces and occasionally multiple versions of the same memory. The Black Widow did not break, but that didn't mean she wouldn't suffer. Three days in and she was already showing the most amount of emotion he had seen her display besides murder and neutrality and that cold, quiet rage.

He pressed the bowl to Natalia's lips again, and she swallowed. 

He sat down and watched as Natalia twitched and shuddered for the next ten or so hours until she finally exhausted herself.

2012, date redacted

He figured out what Madame was doing. Madame was bringing back specific memories. All of them included the Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Madame was trying to use the one thing Natalia loved more than anything in the world, the woman Natalia would go to the ends of the world to find, against her. She was making Natalia hate her, making her hate the pain that the love came with. A double edged sword. 

Madame was going to push her, pressure her until she was close to breaking, fix her again, then start making her crack again. Natalia seemed to never run out of memories with Maria, or fake ones that Madame had implanted in her head.

He glanced at Natalia. Natalia had taken to screwing her eyes shut tightly everytime she was awakened to the sound of the liquid sloshing in the bowl.

Natalia looked exhausted. It was odd seeing her this vunerable. She usually had a smirk for everything, or a glare, or a smartass quip.

There were the occasional grunt or snarl or whimper from Natalia, but other than that everything was silent.

Natalia could end it all. Natalia could say that she wanted it to stop. She could, but she would not.

_I will not break._

It just wasn't in her nature.

2012, date redacted

Natalia slumped and winced as her muscles, sore and aching from tensing and relaxing for what felt like ten thousand years.

Natalia wanted to bring out a white flag and yell parlay, please, stop.

But Natalia didn't have a white flag. If she did, it would have been washed away by the sea of blood. A sea **she** created. 

Natalia arches her feet into a pointe and back. She ignores the blinding pain that shoots down her leg.

Natalia failed. She failed because she let her feelings, or Natasha's feelings, get in the way. She failed the mission because she was distracted by Belova. She failed the mission because she was too goddamn busy with keeping everything in her from James and Belova that she became sloppy. 

James used to tell her that HYDRA gave him a handler when he first started. The handler gave him Five Orders, like Orphan X, Natalia recalled, was a book that Red Room had made them read during Cultural Studies. 

First, always be on neutral ground. These missions are not about you, it is about HYDRA, it is about cleansing the world.

Second, always stick to the safest plan. Do not do things just to show off. You have a mission, your objective is to complete it, and that is what you will do.

Third, always be in tune with your training. It will help you complete the mission objective, it will keep you alive. You have trained and you are a skilled Soldier, but can you use that training and apply it exceptionally to the field, where nothing is fair, every punch and kick is for survival of the best, of the smartest, of the fittest, of the best fighter?

Fourth, be like a shadow. Secretly manipulate the ways of mankind without them realising. (This one was Natalia's specialty, not James, but he was decent at it)

Fifth, always listen to your handler, no matter what. No questions. No disobeying. (James had come to learn that disobedience always leads to punishment, as do all Red Room students know)

Natalia didn't have specific rules, she did whatever she needed to do but as long as she succeeded in the mission and followed Madame's briefing she was fine. Any punishments were inflicted if Madame deemed her performance unsatisfactory. 

Natalia failed, and in that moment, she hated Maria. She hated herself for being weak, for falling in love (was that even possible for a weapon like her? A monster?)

Natalia knew she brought this on herself, but she couldn't help but blame Maria. Hated how Maria somehow bewtiched Natasha and made her fail, make her weak, let her defences down. Natasha showed so many weaknesses to Maria, Maria could slide a knife between her ribs and Natasha would be tooo busy swooning and fainting after Maria like some sick woman held over heels in love and a loyal dog. No, Maria used to say she was a cat.

Natalia once had a cat. In one year, the Red Room gave them a pet of their choice. Someone got a bird. Many got dogs or cats. Svetlana, the mad mad girl, asked for a snake. She got one.

Three weeks later they were forced to kill their pets. They were just animals. They were nothing but another fellow living thing. Forced to be enslaved by humans, pathetic, weak. Natalia had twisted the neck of her cat in a second, without a blink of an eye. Aliya did too. With the two of them initiating, more girls snapped the necks of their animals. Svetlana, her snake hissing and attempting to bite her. Nastya, dog barking. Galina, petting the cat one last time before smashing its skull. Elena, letting her bird fly around one last time before she broke its wings and choked it. 

Natalia had named her cat Alina, after her dead friend. 

_I want you to have my name,_ Alina had whispered once at night.

_I gift my name to you, Natalia Alianovna Romanova. I pass you to gift of light. May it guide you, may it lead you. May it comfort you when you are lost. May it be the torch in the darkness. Let it be alive and unyielding. Let it live in you, in your heart._

Natalia had stayed silent the whole time and observed what seemed like grief in Alina's eyes that night.

Alina had died that day. As if she knew what was going to happen to her.

What do I do Alina? Natalia wanted to cry out.

I have fallen in love, foolishly. I have hurt and suffered because of this. I don't like this, Alina. Help me, I am lost, I do not know the way. The light has dimmed, I cannot see the path ahead.

Natalia waited in silence. Waiting for an answer that would never come.

Natalia's eyes begun to sting, but the tears did not fall.

2012, date redacted

Maybe it was because of the final realisation that there was really no one coming for her, Natalia had lost everything, her covers, her friend, her cat, her love. Maybe it was because of how tired she was. Maybe it was because of how much she suddenly **hated** herself for falling in love with Maria, how much she **hated** Yelena for uncovering this. Maybe it was because of how long she had been holding herself together, a patchwork of skins and blood and flesh. Bruises that fade and never come back. Bullet wounds that leave faint scars, taken away over time by the serums pumped into her.

Maybe it was because she was tired of running. Of forcing herself to fix herself, again and again. Of hearing Maria sing in her head. Of witnessing their marraige, taking part in that stupid marraige that shouldn't have meant anything but did and just made her hate herself and Maria even more.

She was tired of wandering around blindly in the dark. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't. She can't go on. She would not break, but how many cracks were there in the marble? How many dents, scratches, fissures were there?

When she the memories finally faded away, when the replays of cuddling into Maria's soft side stopped, when the rewind of Maria staring into her eyes and kissing her like she meant it and loved her so so much faded, she looked into the Soldat dead in the eyes.

"Let me go, let me go, I'm done. I can't anymore, please, _please._ Let me go, _break me,_ HURT ME!Please, anything but seeing her again," Natalia begged, voice cracking, limbs trembling.

The Soldat looked at her. Blinked. 

"Please, I'm so, so tired," Natalia whispers, slumping against the pole and breathing heavily.

The Soldat nods. He unties Natalia gently, helps to unwrap the chains, carries her in his arms.

Natalia sobs, tears not coming out, more of gasping for air, to breathe because she was _suffocating_ and there was ash that she was choking on like in a burning house and charred wood and screaming and sizzling of flesh as Natalia burnt herself running out.

The Soldat carries her to somewhere. Natalia doesn't care.

With each step, each metal whirring of his arm, each ragged inhale for air, the light in her sputters. 

And she wakes up.

She's still chained to the post. She's still here, the Soldat is forcing another bowl to her lax lips.

It was all a dream.

(We all are living in a dream, yeah life ain't what it seems, oh everything's a mess)

Natalia wants to cry out. She wants to kick the bowl away.

She doesn't.

The liquid slides down her throat. 

It burns, but she's numb and cold. She can't feel anything.

"Masha," the dream Natasha says, with so much tenderness in her voice. 

She's slipping, she's falling, she's not going to make it.

"Soldat, please. James, no," Natalia pleads as the Soldat lifts the bowl away.

The Soldat looks back at her blankly.

"Please," she murmurs.

The Soldat turns around and doesn't look back.

Natalia is too tired to scream. She simply closes her eyes.

The light in her flickers. 

And it fades away.


	35. Chapter 35

2012, 30 December 

"Hill, I trust you know about my wife?" Fury says.

Maria nods. 

"Engage Protocol 95 DRE-H."

"You know what visiting my wife entails, right?"

Maria gives a firm nod. 

"I will drop Yelena off at Stark's first. Hopefully they don't destroy a country together."

2012, 31 December

There is an assassination attempt on Director Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D.

He manages to escape and ends up in Steve Roger's apartment.

And he waits.

2012, 31 December

Steve Rogers walks into his apartment. First thing he notices is how the doors are all closed. He never closes his doors. Second is that there is classical music playing. He doesn't listen to classical music anymore, not since the war.

He is on guard, creeping through the hall down to the living room.

He peeks around the corner. He leans against the wall.

"Hey," Steve says to Fury, who is for some reason in here.

Who knew what the man wanted? Fury was even better at hiding secrets in plain sight than Romanoff sometimes.

"I ever tell you about my wife?"

Steve was confused, but played along.

"No, you really never told me anything about your personal life, Director. Or why you're wearing the eye patch. Rumors about that are wild."

Fury shows him a message.

Eyes and ears everywhere.

"So, you not visiting your wife today? New Years' Eve and all that."

"Oh, I did. I have to say, what are you doing alone on New Years' Eve?"

"Just relaxing. Catching up with the times. Parties aren't really my thing, they're more of Tony's."

"I'll be going. Remember to fix the leaky tap. Wasting water and all that crap."

Fury got up.

And went down as a bullet tore through him.

2012, 31 December

Steve immediately went to help him. Put pressure on the wound near his heart. If it went through his heart he would be dead, but it most likely caught his lung or ribs. Internal bleeding, most likely.

"Fix the... the tap," Fury gets out.

"I'm calling medical," Steve firmly says.

"You neighbour, nurse. She'll know," Fury wheezes, choking out blood.

Steve immediately runs.

He runs and bangs on her door. He's seen her sometimes, but never got her name. They mostly have the worst sleep schedules, meeting each other at the crack of dawn or late at night.

"What is it?" Neighbour asks, finally answering the door.

"I have an injured person who just got shot in my-"

"Captain America, nice to finally meet you. I'll take care of Director Fury, you go chase the sniper."

"Oh, right, Er, got it. I'll get going."

Steve chases.

Steve fails.

The Soldat wins. He gets away.

2013, 1 January

The clock strikes midnight and everywhere in the nation, people party and celebrate.

The clock strikes midnight and Steve watches Director Fury die.

It is a new year. And he watches Maria Hill, Deputy Director, now Director, crumble slightly as Fury flatlines.

Steve leaves to fix that leaky tap. He will obey the ex-Director's last orders.

2013, 1 January

The Soldat reports for his successful mission. They put him back into the tank.

2013, 1 January

She is sent to train with another Prima, Galina Igorovna Lazarev.

Galina is an expert in cultural studies and undercover work. She is her handler now, she is a Madame in training. 

She teaches Galina how to hide, how to kill more efficiently, how to put on different smiles for different occasions. Galina learns. 

She is making quick progress. Galina asks no questions not related to the lessons, preferring the silence. Galina likes to push herself to the breaking point, until she has to stop Galina from going further or Galina would likely collapse and there'll be no progress made.

She doesn't go full on on Galina. Galina cannot take it, she doesn't have the experience nor the serum to take her down. Even when she fights Galina at 40%, Galina can't take her down.

She teaches Galina to play chess instead. That, she can do. Galina was well versed in body language cues and knew what to look out for, like a sixth sense. She and Galina were worthy opponents in the field of undercover work. It was Galina's physical skills she needed to help refine. Galina was more of a hands-on learner, which made things easier for her since most of the training they did was fighting. 

She would teach Galina computer science and hacking once Galina got the physical training down. Galina was skilled and had the natural ability for just about everything, but her mind wandered off a lot. Galina wasn't exceptionally amazing in one thing, she was proficient at various areas, but not the best. Like a jack of all trades, master of none. Galina would be able to help lay out the foundation of a mission, but she will not be sent out into the field for fighting or engaging the mission into a higher level.

Galina would most likely do the background research. Stay unseen. She had the gifts for that, but not enough for the actual intel recovery. But she was still a valuable weapon. Dependable but slightly volatile. Loyal. 

She captured Galina's king as Galina blinks and starts analyzing what went wrong.

Something she liked about Galina is that she only asked for help when she desperately needed it or really even after five hours couldn't figure it out. Galina needed to ponder in her own time.

Many others beat her in various fields, but overall, she is unparalleled. A worthy opponent. No wonder she was sent in the train her. 

"Again," Galina demands.

She puts back the pieces of her army back onto the chess board.


	36. Chapter 36

2013, 1 January

Steve finds the thumbdrive. Usually he would call Natasha to handle this but Natasha was deep undercover, the last he'd heard.

Tony Stark. He should know what to do. But will he expose all the secrets on the thumbdrive? It was something the Director did get killed for. Stark also constantly had a huge target on his back, with his open declaration of being Iron Man and all that.

But the girl was there. The girl Commander Hill brought back with her. That had to prove to be something.

Steve pockets the thumbdrive and leaves for Malibu.

2013, 2 January

She teaches Galina how to block, how to gain more momentum in her kicks and how to use her surroundings to her advantage. Galina learns.

Galina tells her random tit bits and facts of different countries, even though she has been to most of them. But it's not the same, being there on a mission and experiencing the culture and way of life. So she listens to Galina. Galina seems more than happy to tell her stories and life there. Cultural immersion trips, Galina had explained. The Red Room sent them to many countries to live there and document their life. Then Red Room got them to make notes and differences. Like how Americans held their flowers upwards but the Europeans held them downwards. Like how to use chopsticks like a natural, or traditions in Nigeria. 

She in turn tells her about missions she had, about the pastry she had once eaten in Paris that she had forgotten the name of. She tells her about the things she had to do to finish the mission. She tells her about Drakov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the children's hospital. Galina doesn't judge. 

"You did what you had to do to survive," Galina shrugs.

She doesn't think so. She thinks its horrifying that she had to do that. 

She's gone soft. Maybe the Red Room didn't fix her. Maybe she was still slowly healing. Maybe seeing Maria tipped her over the edge and she can't come back. Maybe that's why she's training to become a Madame. Maybe Madames were Red Room agents so broken but still valuable that they moulded them into teachers.

She hates it, damn it all. 

She challenges Galina to a game of snap, and Galina agrees happily.

They play until their hands are sore from the slamming down on tables for hours.

2013, 2 January

Steve is ushered into Tony's mansion. It is big, white and honestly minimalistic to the point of looking a bit bare.

"So Capsicle, what brings you here?" Tony asks.

"I need you to access this thumbdrive's files. The security on it is thicker than what I can get through," Steve answers.

"Why can't you just go to S.H.I.E.L.D. huh? Also what's with the serious face, relax."

"He's putting on the kicked puppy face because someone died," a girl announces, entering Tony's lab.

"Hey Crimson, stop hacking into JARVIS will you!"

"I didn't hack it," the girl shoots back, grinning. "JARVIS let me in."

"Oh JARVIS, your betrayal stings."

"Ms Potts gave her access to the entire mansion, Mr Stark."

"She did? Must have missed that. Anyways, Cap, meet Yelena, or Crimson. Once found her blending a cranberry and bluebrry smoothie and the blender malfunctioned. Whole thing exploded and she was covered in red. She's my favourite little European hacker now, sorry Romanoff, if you're listening or doing some crazy spy shit."

"Nice to meet you Yelena."

Steve offered his hand for a handshake.

Yelena smiled and shook his hand. Yelena was wearing gloves. Interesting.

"Want to come play with this little boy here?" Tony asks, raising up the thumbdrive.

"Gonna be fun isn't it? You sit down Captain Rogers. Let the professional do her job."

"What about me?"

"Shut up Stark you're even more of a novice than Natalia. Natalia sucks. She once had to upload a few files into a thumbdrive. She messed up and downloaded the wrong ones. She had to go back an hour later to get the actual ones."

"But Romanoff managed to hack into JARVIS! She's good, have to admit."

Yelena shrugs.

"I'm the best at hacking. I was in that area of expertise, not really a fan of the field work."

Steve cleared his throat.

"Right, don't need to get yourself in a twist Cap, you can go make yourself comfortable. Just don't touch anything in the lab. JARVIS, assist him?"

"Yes Mr Stark. If you are hungry, Mr Rogers, I can lead you to the kitchen."

"Right. And Stark, be careful with the thumbdrive, alright?"

Tony made a shooing motion with his hands.


	37. Chapter 37

2013, date redacted

She brought Galina out today. They had been stuck inside for a few days and she could tell Galina was getting restless. They strolled down the streets of Belgorod in disguises. She was sweating in her parka, but for appearances sake she had to wear one. It would be a little odd strolling down the place where the temperature was -5 degrees celsius in a hoodie and a pair of shorts. 

Galina herself was close to shivering, but not quite either. Galina was a strong girl, she'd survive. 

They walked to a Konditerskaya they found and she bought a cake for Galina to eat. 

They sat down, and she decided to make some small talk so that it would not seem awkward to other customers.

"How old are you, do you know? Your file doesn't say anything much."

"I'm not sure if you're allowed to know this," Galina answers instead, nibbling on a piece of chocolate.

"I'm your trainer, I have to have an understanding of you to help you improve faster and become better."

"All right then. I was part of the Black Widow program. I was one of your classmates for one year, I think, before an experiment backfired and I died. They made the girl, Evgenia, bring me back. She brought back me and ten other girls. I think they froze me so I would still be the same me. It kind of backfired a bit when it came to me though. She was drained. She didn't have enough energy to bring me back. As a compromise, she turned the clock for me. I'm now about six or seven, I guess. I'm not sure, that's what Madame told me."

"You're the Galina from the Black Widow program? We were wondering if you died on a mission or something, makes sense. What happened to Evgenia?"

"She was put back into the white cube. It helps her keep herself in control. They left her out for too long after she was drained from bringing us back. She killed twenty agents."

She could vaguely remember that, seeing Evgenia in Madame's office, having Evgenia in the same white cube with her before being taken away and-

"Madame does what she does for her own reasons, we do not question. We obey and we serve. Is it not?"

Blood dripping onto the floor. Blood under her nails. Liquid going down her throat. Chains keeping her in place. A certain brunette she could not, for the life of her, remember who.

"Black Widow?"

"Yes, we are here to serve. Now eat your cake, we will take the rest of the afternoon off and work on your accents later, shall we?"

Galina nods and finishes off the rest of her cake.

2013, 3 January

"JARVIS said I would find you two here," Steve says, entering the lab.

Yelena and Tony were frowning at the screen.

"The person who made these security measures is slightly smarter than me," Yelena announces, pausing. "Slightly."

"Run decryption code," Tony calls out as Yelena furiously types away.

"Decryption failed."

"Who created this program?" Tony cried out, exasperated.

"Belova, Yelena and Fury, Nicholas J. Sir," JARVIS replies.

Yelena stops typing as Tony and Steve both look at her.

"Maria never put me on this mission before, all I've done is handling control operations, she never got me to code a thumbdrive," Yelena frowns.

"Are you sure? Because the system says otherwise," Tony answers, showing her the codes. It's all her signature codes and little tricks and shortcuts she discovered, in a way.

And Yelena knew.

"HYDRA, Red Room and HYDRA had a partnership. Natalia said that HYDRA was infiltrating into S.H.I.E.L.D. You, the Captain, right? You said Nick Fury was dead. Show me all recordings of the vicinity, now."

"Already scanning and bringing out the files, Ms Belova," JARVIS ever so helpfully replies.

Yelena carefully scrutinzed the recordings. A flash of silver, near the car. A small movement on the rooftop. 

"Soldat. He's back on the field, and he's killed Nick Fury. Captain, describe the person you fought to me."

"About 5'9, maybe 6'0, not sure. Had a metal arm with a red star, wearing all black tac gear, he caught my shield," Steve describes.

'Impossible, once you throw that thing it'll knock any human into a concussion, especially with your super soldier strength."

"Soldat isn't just any normal being, he's a soldier primed by HYDRA to carry out their missions. He's in the Winter Soldier program, it complements Red Room's Black Widow and Prima program. Toy soldiers and ballerina puppets. Together they can take over the world if they wanted to, but they are waiting. HYDRA's mission is not world dominance out in the open, it is infiltrating and guiding, using intelligence organisations to do their dirty work. S.H.I.E.L.D. was a growing power, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Captain Rogers and Natalia were liabilities. They were capable of bringing down entire nations together with S.H.I.E.L.D. That's why HYDRA started with FBI, then S.H.I.E.L.D. but left CIA and Pentagon alone. Those were the minority compared to FBI and S.H.I.E.L.D. Any intelligence the two organisations had, S.H.I.E.L.D. and FBI had more."

"Been hacking into systems, haven't you Crimson?"

"I was enrolled in the Prima program," Yelena faintly says. "I escaped, because I was going to die, and I did not want to die. Maria Hill saved me, she brought me into S.H.I.E.L.D. Red Room didn't play with my brain too much, but I can read memories, piece them together. I'm enhanced with the super soldier serum, the same one in the Winter Soldier, just not as potent. I trained to kill, to hack into devices, to bleed into systems and extract information from chips and hard drives. There are so many Black Widows and Primas in the world, Natalia only killed half of them when she first joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't know if she's still alive, last I've seen of her she was when she put a bullet into the Soldier to distract us and spirited him away."

"Natasha has the Soldier? Then did she lose him or something? Why would Natasha let the Soldier kill Nick Fury? Unless she's dead too?"

Yelena looked at the two men with pitying eyes.

"You two have no idea do you? What did Director Fury tell you about Natalia's status?"

"That she was undercover to bring down Red Room. That she was deep underground."

"Well, you have the wrong information. Natalia was returned to Red Room, where do you think she has been for the past two months? She joined our program because she was becoming sloppy, or so Madame had said. With Madame there's always another meaning and ten alternate motives. Maria's been searching for Natalia, but if Red Room doesn't want to be found, nothing's to be done. Everything will be revealed in due time, we just have to be prepared for it."

'Well, looks like we weren't prepared enough because the Director is dead, so."

"Next time Red Room or HYDRA sends someone we'll be ready then. If its Natalia I could probably try to use my powers on her. She gets disorientated from that, she'll be confused, might be painful though. She's been made and remade many many times. It's crazy how she's still sane."

"Er, I don't think she's very okay," Tony suddenly interjects.

Yelena glances at the screen.

"It's one of the Red Room facilities. How did you get in?"

"I used a few of your codes and mine to intercept the signal. This seems to be, ah, from about a week ago."

Yelena watches in silence as they chain Natalia to a post and she drinks some liquid thing from a bowl. 

"Send me that file. I'll have a look at it. Captain, give me a few hours to run diagnosis and figure out how to make a loophole in the system that I apparently created. Must have been from the Red Room, during training."

Steve stares at the screen at Natasha unmoving and chained down as Tony and Yelena get to work again.

Steve turns around and keys in a number on his burner phone.


	38. Chapter 38

2013, 3 January

Steve, after thanking Tony and Yelena, was ready to leave, but Tony insisted on him staying for another night.

"Pepper's got her night off. We'll have fun, come on. Besides, the thumbdrive and files still need to be downloaded, if we send it over email its going to be risky, even if you send it through drafts. So, what do you say?"

Steve, after relentless bugging from Tony, agreed to stay the night.

The four of them had a movie night, with Yelena loudly munching popcorn and Steve distractedly toying with the thumbdrive he would try to destroy soon enough. 

2013, 4 January

"I would like to go with you, Captain Rogers," Yelena says.

"You got your orders to stay put, I'm not going to betray Hill, she's quite the person when orders are defied. Also, call me Steve."

"Noted, Steve, but Maria loves me, she's basically my guardian, she'd allow it."

Steve sighs.

"Look, I know you're very capable but-"

"I'm like fifteen and its too dangerous? Or that you don't trust me and you also don't trust Maria anymore because of Fury?"

"Well, yes, that."

Yelena scoffs.

"Nice try Captain, but has anyone ever told you that you suck at undercover spy work? You don't really blend in, you know. I can help you with that. Also, I can hold my own. I was trained in the Red Room. I may have been de programmed but I can still fight when necessary. Also, I helped hack into the thumbdrive, if I were HYDRA I could have just told you the wrong information and sold off all that was in the drive to the highest bidder."

"Makes sense, but-"

"I could probably take you down, or it'll be close enough, besides from your experience," Yelena mumbles, eyeing Steve up and down.

'Woah woah, no fighting in the halls, Pepper will eviscerate me, and she's probably scarier than Hardass Hill," Tony cautions.

Steve sighs again and puts his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Alright, alright, lets get going. Thanks Tony, I'll clean this mess up and see where we're going to next I guess."

"Don't get stuck in an iceberg again, alright? We still need you for the Avengers!" Tony calls after them.

"He's a prick, but like, a nice prick," Yelena says.

"Well that's one way of describing it, now lets get in the car before Tony's fancy automatic car runs off without us."

2013, date redacted

Maria Hill is off duty. She's waiting for the signal to go rescue Yelena or help Steve out of whatever mess he left behind to chase about the thumbdrive thing again.

Maria has done a pretty good job not worrying about Nat and rushing into Red Room facilities guns blazing. Maria is not that stupid. 

She's holding up well enough, she guesses. The only time she's broken down was with Yelena in Sharon's apartment. She's ran her whole life, what's one more mile to go?

Young Maria ran from her dad as fast as she could whenever she heard the sound of glass bottles crashing to the ground or when heavy footsteps came to her door. She knew, she would jump out of her window and hide in a tree. A few years later her dad figured out. The tree was cut down. 

So she would jump out of the window, perfecting her roll to reduce injuries from falling down three storeys and run.

She's run from that place she referred to as a house and the Marines and S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nat and they were all gone. Because she was incompetent, because she did not stop anything from happening before it was too late, because Nat and Nick were stupid, stupid self sacrificial spies who thought they were out there alone in the whole goddamn world. 

At least Yelena would be safe from Red Room and HYDRA if Stark's security was strong enough. Hopefully. 

I'll wait. I'll climb up a tree to rest and hide. I'll clear up HYDRA's stupid mess and then go track down Red Room and find Nat, maybe help Yelena and Nat to blow the place to smithereens.

But for now, she was in her tree.


	39. Chapter 39

2013, date redacted

Yelena adjusts her blond wig with some weird frizzy kind of cut. She frowns.

Yelena applies a different shade of red lipstick. A braid who signal that she was young, and a bun would signal that she was middle aged. Just let it loose, probably, would be the best option.

Stashing another wig, a passport she made a copy of at the airport when she was flying back to New York, her makeup Pepper had kindly bought her from some drugstore and a wallet with a moderate amount of cash, she closed the closet door.

"Steve, you done there?" Yelena asks, knocking on the bathroom door. 

"We need to hurry up, we're going to be late for the lunch!"

"Alright, coming." The door opens and Yelena scrutinizes him.

She places a navy blue cap onto his head and passes him a pair of glasses.

"You'll act as the nervous boyfriend who's getting married. It's your first time. I need you to visualize him. I need you to become him, understand?"

"Why boyfriend though, can't I be your brother or something?"

Yelena rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, and why would you be nervous if you were my brother? You're tenser than a wildcat anticipating attack. HYDRA isn't dumb, you know. You're a soldier, trained to be in the warzone, not a spy. But you are doing well enough, I suppose. There, now just mind your body language. We are going to walk to the nearest electronics store at the mall and read the files, okay? Then assuming everything goes smoothly, which probably won't, we'll be back here in no time and get ready for our next step. But, if we get caught, I need you to run and go to Tony. He'll carry on the facilitation from there, and I'll search for Maria to find Natalia. Understand?"

Steve grins. "Yes Commander Belova, and maybe if everything goes according to plan, we'll get you cranberries!"

Yelena laughs and playfully punches Steve on the arm. 

"You're not a saint after all, Steve. Come on and stop dallying."

2013, date redacted

To be fair, everything had gone quite smoothly. They had read the files, Steve had managed to distract the salesperson, all was going well, until Yelena realised that there was a certain code that Tony didn't remove, thinking it was one of Yelena's. Well, it was similar, except the stupid semicolon that changed everything and made it into an access tracker. 

"Babe, shall we ask Martha to come get the computer for us later? We still have to book the flights to New Jersey," Yelena asks, shutting the laptop down and pocketing the thumbdrive. 

"Alright, make sure Martha buys the correct model, she left our dog on the porch just last week because she forgot we had one, getting old, dear Martha," Steve chuckles.

"Nice meeting you, and congratulations on the honeymoon!" The salesperson guy says.

"Alright, we have about two minutes before HYDRA locates us and sends agents to deal with us. There was a tracker in the thumbdrive code programme, we just accessed the files and they know. We'll get a change in attire and- shit. They're here. Alright, act normal, we look okay."

"Agents, your eight o' clock," Steve whispers.

"Laugh and hunch towards me," Yelena commands, and Steve follows.

The HYDRA agent walks past.

Yelena and Steve cautiously walk to the escalator as another HYDRA agent comes up on the other escalator.

Yelena immediately whirls around. 

"Kiss me," she demands. 

"What?"

"Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable."

Yelena doesn't wait for Steve's answer as she leans in to snog him.

It feels weird, kissing someone who was on Red Room's hitlist.

She hates spywork. 

Once the HYDRA agent gets off, Yelena stops and turns around.

"You still uncomfortable?" She asks to break the tension.

"Hill is going to kill me, Hill is going to murder me once she finds out," Steve absently murmurs.

Yelena laughs and they manage to walk out of the mall alive.

2013, date redacted

"Again," she orders as Galina pants and delivers thirty sets of two blows to the chair.

"Again," she orders as the chair does not splinter.

"Again, harder. You do not yield, you do not break. But the chair will, because you are unstoppable," she says as Galina gives a final growl of frustration and delivers a hard kick that sends the chair into the wall, but it does not break.

"Your posture changed. Your leg kept dropping. You keep leaning back in anticipation of the chair breaking and getting splinters. Fear is not going to help you survive, your fear is just a chemical reaction. Everything is a chemical reaction. It's not real. It's science. You are born with two natural fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. We are trained to get rid of all fears, but why are you instead developing more?"

Galina lowers her head.

"The fear is not real. The chair is. The Red Room's enemies are. You think for one second, that if you said in a fight, stop I don't want to get hurt, they will stop? No, they'll just fight even harder because **they know you are afraid**. Fear cuts deeper than a sword. You master it, you use it to your advantage, you will have a higher chance of surviving. Anticipation of pain makes the pain even worse. You need to use pain and fear as your weapons. Stop crying, I know you're angry at yourself and me, but crying isn't going to help, it'll just make you look ugly and block your nose. You can cry into your pillow later. Wipe away those damn tears and start again. You do not stop until you can do it perfectly, I don't care if you have to stay up until midnight practicing."

Galina wipes her tears and nods. 

The sound of wood being kicked is the only thing to be heard for the next five hours.


	40. Chapter 40

2013, date redacted

Yelena and Steve headed for a quick change of disguises at the hotel apartment, gathered their belongings and headed for Sam Wilson's house. Steve said he could be trusted, Yelena argued to go to a safehouse of hers, but Steve, being Steve, managed to convince Yelena to go to Sam's.

Yelena grudgingly agreed it was a good choice. Ex-military, special services, very impressive resume. Two tours in Iraq and he still looked fine. Maybe a little PTSD and guilt in there because of Riley, but overall okay.

"We have to get to New Jersey, there's a place we need to visit," Steve says.

"I'll get the tickets, I have contacts," Yelena muses.

"Hey, you two want breakfast? I got pancakes, if you guys, you know, need that kind of stuff," Sam interrupts suddenly.

"We'll discuss this later," Yelena decides.

The meal feels tense, with Steve and Sam making small talk while Yelena silently plans. 

"Hey I'm just saying man, if you need help, I'll be around," Sam says.

"It won't be necessary, its alright. You enjoy your time in retirement from the field."

"No. Mr Wilson, you mentioned you were in special services?" Yelena slowly says.

'Yes, I've got the files, if you want."

"Sam Wilson, the Falcon. I've got eyes underground, S.H.I.E.L.D. has eyes everywhere. But we don't have any in the skies," Yelena bites her lip as she considers.

"I could help, that's all I'm saying."

"Having him would be an advantage."

"Alright, but you stay here first, we'll be on intel recovery in New Jersey and then we'll head straight back here."

2013, date redacted

Then New Jersey happened.

The fight on the streets happened. The Soldat, back on a mission. Unstoppable. Whatever it takes to finish the mission.

Yelena got shot, of fucking course. Thanks James, I'll give you a special punch when we detain you.

Even worse, they got captured. Of fucking course.

A steady stream of curses and lamenting ran through Yelena's head as she closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat on the helicopter.

Steve suddenly looks enormous, he's literally a giant. When did he get another growth spurt?

"We need medical attention for her, she was shot," Sam says.

Dumb motherfucker. She was alright, she was fine, she just needed her head to stop spinning so that she could make up another plan to drag their sorry asses out of this mess.

There's a tell tale noise of someone being tazed, followed by the sound of a boot hitting a helmet. Dumbass, did any of them try to attack the guards-

Oh. _Oh._

Yelena managed to open her eyes and squint through the fog.

"God, that thing was squeezing my brain," Maria Hill complains as she takes the helmet off and adjusts her hair.

"Who's this guy?" Maria asks, looking from Steve to Yelena.

Yelena would have smiled, but her muscles were being mean to her.

"Who are you?" Sam shoots back as Maria stands to attend to Yelena.

Maria removed Yelena's hand from her shoulder.

"I'm Maria Hill, Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., or what's going to be left of it anyways. Yelena, sit still, stop fidgeting."

Sam looks to Steve and Steve just nods, but Yelena's more focussed on Maria.

"Hey," Yelena manages a weak smile.

"Steve and Stark are going to die. Why are you here, why aren't you back in Malibu?"

"Sorry ma'am, its just that Yelena-"

"Might have convinced them," Yelena winces as Maria manages to extract the bullet so that she can properly attend to the wound.

"Bite," Maria commands, switching into her Commander Hill persona.

Yelena accepts the piece of cotton and bites, letting the drugs flow into her system.

The rest of the ride is kind of a blur, with Maria's efficient but steady and grounding touch centering her. Yelena doesn't wonder why Natalia loves her. She's reassuring, steady, will not deal with any bull, but also understanding and patient, even as she battled her own demons.

They reach the destination and Maria lets Steve support Yelena so that she can unlock the doors and get them through security, even though she sees a flash of regret in Maria's eyes.

"GSW, she's lost at least a pint," Maria coolly commands the medical staff as they hurry to get the tools prepared.

"They'll want to see him first though," Maria says after a pause.

They follow Maria into a room as she pushes away the curtains and reveals a definitely alive Nick Fury.

"Well about damn time."


	41. Chapter 41

2013, date redacted

She was training Galina when the message came. That Black Widow was needed to pair with the Soldat. A deadly dance, a web to be weaved, a final stand to reveal that Red Room was with HYDRA. 

Black Widow prepared. She was ready, as usual. Primed and conditioned. Death and tragedy were encoded in her blood. Spin, leap, kill. 

She left Galina with enough money to last her a month in case she was posted away on a mission for a longer time than expected.

Galina scratched out a little Black Widow symbol with a pen on the inside of her wrists, and curtsied. An old tradition, a till we meet again, a move that had been forgotten over the years.

Black Widow touches Galina's forehead, between her eyebrows, and gives a slight nod before disappearing into the shadows.

2013, date redacted

"But Steve..." Maria trails off.

"Just do it!" Steve yelled into the comm.

"Wait, holy-"

"Steve?"

"Hill, you're going to have to see surveillance for this one," Steve says.

Maria runs to check the cameras.

There. 

"Nat," she breathes.

And she's pointing a gun at Steve's head.

2013, date redacted

"James, kill him."

"He says he knows me," James answers, confusion evident in his eyes.

"James, the mission. Complete. The. Mission," she growls. Men, she believed James to be different, but perhaps that was not the case after all.

"Natalia, I'm sorry," James says.

"James do it now, remember your Five Orders."

James closes his eyes.

"Nonononono."

"желание." James starts to shake his head.

"ржавый, семнадцатъ, рассвет." James lets Steve go and covers his ears.

"печь, девять, добросердецный." Black Widow continues, and dodges James's sloppy attacks.

"возвращение на родину, один-" 

"Stop."

Black Widow looks up and sighs as she sees Yelena.

"Belova, you're alive! Madame will be glad to hear."

"I know you're in there Natalia."

"If you wanted Natalia, or perhaps, Natasha," she sneers, "you're about ten days too late."

"You're still in there."

Yelena cautiously moves towards Black Widow.

"Resorting to your mind tricks again?"

Yelena doesn't answer.

"Natalia, remember. Stop fighting against yourself, you're going to tear yourself apart."

"And bring down the whole world with me, yes. This is a game of chess. The Soldat is a pawn, you are a rook, I'm the knight. Madame is the Queen and Red Room is the King. All the pieces are off the board, Yelena. We have our pawns down, there's only you and me."

"You're wrong."

Black Widow's eyes flashes to the entryway as Maria Hill stands there, gun in her hands, trained on Black Widow.

"We've got our King, Queen, rook, knights," As she speaks, Agents pop up. "-pawns-" Helicopters buzz by. "-and bishops. Now that all of our pieces are on the board, we play." Maria nods, and all the agents train their guns on Black Widow.

She considers. She could probably take down half the people in the Helicarrier that was going to self destruct in about fifteen minutes and was still slowly coming down from the sky before someone managed to shoot her.

She would heal. She would survive, she will not break, she will not yield.

"HYDRA is going to release all your secrets to the world if you kill me, and then Red Room will take its revenge." A lie, she knew Red Room would just acknowledge her death as a loss, but there will always be a new batch of students ready to kill.

"We'll deal with that. Now, turn yourself in before we have to do it by force."

Red Room would not accept her even if she survived. She would have to remake her own web.

_What if my web breaks? What if there are holes from the long-term use?_

_You fix them, you patch them up._

_What if i fail?_

_You never fail._

The Black Widow raises her hands, puts down her gun and kneels on the ground.


	42. Chapter 42

2013, date redacted

Maria watches in silence as the agents surround Natasha, no, Black Widow, as she accepts defeat. The other batch of agents attend to Steve and bring the Winter Soldier away into another prison, probably one like the cage for Bruce Banner. Maybe Black Widow would have one too. It was up to Fury to decide.

"Commander, the Helicarrier is still equipped to attack," an agent says.

Maria looks to Yelena and nods.

Yelena runs off to finish her mission. Re programming the Helicarrier.

"I'll need you to contact Tony Stark."

2013, date redacted

Black Widow is detained, the agents whisper. The second time in history, S.H.I.E.L.D. captures the deadliest Avenger, the elusive Widow. 

Red Room, of course, hears of this. Another trainer is sent to train Galina. They regroup. They do not trust HYDRA, their partnership broken off.

They will survive, born in the coldest of Russian winters.

Black Widow is put to sleep as S.H.I.E.L.D. starts their de programming of Red Room in their lost asset.

Maria Hill keeps herself together. She's Maria Hill and she's still in the tree, she's Maria Hill and she knows that Black Widow might not survive this. Their love, damaged beyond repair. Natasha, if she even chose to be Natasha anymore, is broken, and shattered, and god knows why Black Widow looked at her with such hate filled, dull moss green eyes that it felt personal. Perhaps she still remembered. 

She's Maria Hill, and she's dealt with devastation, loss, grief, stress, trauma, worry, sorrow, pain, but she has still clung on, stayed in that tree. She's Maria Hill and this is what she wished for. For Natasha to come back safe. Natasha, or Black Widow, was back alright. 

Be careful of what you wish for.

Maria Hill, Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Hardass Hill, Commander Hill, turns for debriefing and does not look back.

The burning pain that flares in her has nothing to do with the particular red head looking blankly at the ceiling of the surgical room.

She's Maria Hill, and something in her died as she left the control room. Songbird who sung no more. Runner who needed to stop. Soldier who had nothing but her pride and ambition. Commander who had her duties. Lover who loved no more. 

She's Maria Hill and she's a survivor, she refuses to be compromised.

She's definitely going to go to the gym later.

2013, date redacted 

Yelena finds Maria in the gym, punching at the punching bag with a tired recklessness. 

"She's awake," Yelena quietly says.

Maria doesn't answer, only falters for a few seconds before returning to the punching bag.

"Maria."

Maria stops and sighs.

"What do you want me to do? Pretend that we can be what we were before? Tell her that everything was just one huge nightmare?"

"No, but you should stop coming to the gym to run yourself ragged. Natasha's somewhere in there, I know it. She just has to find it again."

"Not happening anytime soon. Nat took a year to do that last time, and that was because she was already returning for another year before she was brought in."

"Even if there's a small chance to undo this, we have to take it Maria."

Yelena moves to her.

"Nothing's set in stone, we can still do this. Teach her how to be human again. You did it for me, you did it for her last time, it's just one more time."

Yelena takes Maria's hands and examines her blisters and blood soaking through the hand tape as she had opted to not wear gloves.

"Let's get this fixed, then you get some rest. Agent Barton is looking after Natalia now. She's slowly regaining her memories, and its going to take quite a while, but I think this time we've removed all triggers."

Maria lets her hand fall to her side as Yelena unwraps the other hand's tape.

"I'm tired."

"I know."

"I can't run anymore."

"Then rest."

"The baddies are going to catch up, I have to run."

"We're here for you, we'll cover for you."

Yelena leads Maria to her quarters and helps her undress into a hoodie and sweatpants. 

"Sleep, Masha."

"Nat used to call me that, a lot."

"You'll see her soon."

"Promise?" Maria blearily says, eyes fluttering shut.

"Promise."

Yelena watches as Maria's breathing evens out and she falls into a dreamless, exhausted sleep.

She was going to bang on Fury's door and demand him to give her some days off after this blows over.


	43. Chapter 43

2013, date redacted

Everything hurts, Her face hurts, her muscles hurts, her body hurts, her head, hurts. 

The room's too white. It's like she was having a fever dream and she was back in the white cube. 

"Hey, Tasha, er, Natalia? Widow? You've got too many names, my old self can't remember already."

There's a soft chuckle. 

"I hope you're holding together in there. We're going to get those motherfuckers for what they did to you Tasha, I'm so sorry. i'm sorry."

Her heart starts beating frantically. Tasha? Widow? What was happening? Where is she? The man, sounds American. James perhaps? No, James had a certain accent, and he never called her Tasha.

She slowly peels her eyes open. Her mind's fuzzy, everything is mushy and cottoney.

"Tasha! Hold on, let me get the doctor."

Doctor. No. Where was she in? 

Stop.

Be aware of your surroundings. Do not let yourself be compromised. 

She stops and looks around.

"Where am I?" Her voice sounds foreign to her, alien. Her throat hurts now, she hadn't talked in days.

"Slow down, doctor's coming. Welcome back to the living Tasha. You've had a hell of a few months. Take your time, you've been messed up pretty hard."

"Where am I?" 

"S.H.I.E.L.D. medical."

"What happened?"

"That's not something I can tell you now. The doctors need to check your vitals and you still have to clear psych evals."

"Hello Agent Romanoff, I'm Doctor Maya. Nice to meet you, you'll have to sit up unless you want to lie down. Agent Barton, please help to adjust her bed, thank you."

She, Agent Romanoff apparently, sits up and observes the doctor. 

"Now, your vitals seem to be quite steady, but if you're uncomfortable, just say something, okay? Water?"

Agent Romanoff sniffs the water, observing it, before deeming it non-toxic and slowly sips it. 

"Do you know your name?"

"Romanoff, he calls me Tasha."

"Your name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova. Rings a bell?"

"I-" 

A flash of red. Blood dribbling down her finger. Blood everywhere. Focus Natalia. Good Natalia, again.

Of emerald eyes sparkling with gold, fiery hair of legends told.

Of an arrow ripping through her thigh and her falling to the ground.

Of a certain brunette, face and body hazy.

"Natasha, I was Natasha."

"Do you remember him?"

Her, Natasha, squints at the man.

"He put an arrow through me. Back in the days. 2006, I think. Or 2005. Can't remember."

"Good, you'll be on meds for a while to get your body back in its equilibrium. One last question for today, do you remember anything about Red Room?"

Good Natalia, again.

Cold fingers and a metal arm wrapped around her neck.

Don't lose yourself.

Welcome back.

You do not break, you do not yield.

Blood. She's dripping in it, she's in the white cube again, breathe Natalia breathe breathe breathe.

Breaking, begging, tied and whipped and lava flowing through her veins.

"No," she whispers, and looks at Doctor Maya dead in the eye.

She accepts it as an answer, got the arrow man, Clint Barton, or so she overheard, out of the ward to talk.

She'll sort through the memories on her own later. Now, its time to sleep again, these drugs they were giving her are glorious. She's about as high as a kite.

She fell into oblivion.


	44. Chapter 44

2013, date redacted

The next few days are a blur, literally and figuratively. There are people coming in and out, she sees a blond teen come in, whisper to her, hold her hand. She doesn't like it, she remembers too much afterwards. Then there's the American, Clint Barton. She remembers him. He's everywhere in her dreams. And the mysterious brunette, face still hazy. She doesn't remember much of her, and when she probes, she gets a headache that lasts for hours. She immediately marks that brunette as a no. Caution, danger. 

Sometimes the brunette strokes her hair. It's nice, she likes it. Sometimes she sits and stares at something, sits and stares and sniffs then leaves. She doesn't come back for a long time, but always does in the end.

A man with what looked like an eye patch comes in too. He sits in the chair and mutters things and checks her vitals and then leaves. His visits are short, brief. 

She can't bring herself to care. Her mind's a mess, she needs time to re catalogue and record. She knows she is Natalia Alianovna Romanova of the Red Room. Her memories of Red Room comes in short bursts. Sometimes she suspects that some memories aren't real, made up. Hell if she knows, she's messed up. 

Sometimes she remembers James. Sometimes she remembers the sound of pointe shoes hitting the marble flooring. The lava in her veins, the quiet whispers with another girl, the sound when a neck is snapped. 

It's disorientating, but she's sort of, floating off. Disassociating, she overhears Doctor Maya say one day.

She knows she tried to destroy Red Room in 2006. That she went rogue, and was taken in by the arrow guy. That explains the arrow to her thigh memory. On nights she dreams of breathing in someone's scent and pretty ballerinas. Sometimes she's screaming, sometimes, she's silent. 

She doesn't really know much, the memories aren't helping. Too many crowd her head, too fast to catalogue. She lets them run past, flying around and rebounding, only picking and choosing the ones she thought would help.

She feels numb most of the time. Perhaps the drugs. They help to numb the pain, it takes everything away. It's like she's floating, she doesn't have to deal with feelings, any guilt or sorrow or pain from these memories she knew would wrack a normal human if left to their devices.

Monster, she knew. That she was, when someone wanted her to be. She isn't a monster, she's just a blank canvas. A mask, a ballerina, an assassin. She's still sorting out her life in Red Room, and she knows she isn't a monster. 

She feels this distant relief. She's no demon, no monster.

2013, date redacted

She's making progress, moving into the early 2000s. She can remember Alina, remember the gift of light, remember when she started questioning everything, when she begun to defy orders with James. 

She wants to reach out to the girl, tell her her gift was in vain, she would have done better to use it herself, but everytime she tries to touch her, she disappears. 

She screams and screams when that happens, and the doctors knock her out.

2013, date redacted

She's an empty shell. She's exhausted, she knows what she's done, who she's hurt, who she's betrayed, who she's loved, who has hurt her beyond repair.

She's an asset, a weapon, a one-time fling. She's being tossed from one organisation to another.

The brunette stops visiting her. She feels nothing, she is empty and cold on the inside. She keeps complaining that she freezing, the doctors pile blankets on her until she sweats and her body is screaming at her to stop, but she's still shivering.

She knows who she was, she knows all her names and what she has done to earn them.

Natasha Romanoff. 

Her name is Natasha Romanoff, but she doesn't let that bother her much.

And one day they bring in another child. Now this one, she vaguely remembers. The black haired girl stares at her from outside the ward. 

They bring her in, and she can't be bothered to do anything except stare at her.

She brings out a pen from nowhere and moves towards her. The doctors start for her, but the blond blocks them. 

The girl takes her wrist, she's burning against her own cool skin.

She watches as the girl draws an hourglass symbol on her wrist. The girl caps her pen and waits. 

She knows, she knows she's supposed to do something here. Everyone's waiting with bated breaths. But she can't for her life remember.

The girl starts to leave with the blond.

The doctors start for her again, but the girl stops. Turns around and curtsies.

She stares into blank space, letting the doctors examine her vitals and her wrist.

The girls leave.

2013, date redacted

The brunette finally comes in, she looks terrible, like she hasn't slept in days.

"Hey Nat, its been some time since I've come. I'm sorry, I couldn't save you."

"But I could save the other girls. The black haired one, she's Galina. We found her in a safehouse. She claims she was hiding, she says that you trained her."

The brunette chuckles.

"This is so stupid." The brunette with pretty blue eyes heaves out a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, and starts stroking her hair again.

"I love you Nat, and I know its hard for you. Heck, if I went through half of what you did I would probably be launching myself off the Helicarrier already."

Not true, somewhere in her, she knows this isn't true.

"Yelena told me talking to you helps. I didn't want to come, I didn't want to break down in front of everyone, this is so stupid."

The brunette, she knows she's supposed to hate her, love her, kill her, save her. Madame said so, but then she said no, and she got away with it for a while but then Madame caught her and she had to kill her but she didn't and everything hurt because of that.

"Nat, if you're in there, I want you to know that I will avenge you. I'm no Avenger, but I will do it for you. I miss you, I want you. I miss your smile, I miss just laying down with you after a hard day, I miss chiding you to sit properly, I miss your sarcasm, just you in general."

A pause.

"Your presence helps, I guess. It's nice pretending everything's going to be okay, even if it's probably not. If you ever choose to become Natasha again, or whoever the hell you want to be, I will be here. I will be here every step of the way, as Commander, friend, fellow agent, or lover. But the latter's a slim chance, I guess. I heard of what you went through. I'm sorry they turned me against you. Turned us against you."

"We've taken down 5 Red Room facilities so far with Yelena's help. The girls are being rehabilated. I think you'd like Yelena and Galina, they're getting along quite well. They won't admit it, but their kind of like my children now, I guess. Well, Galina's perhaps more of yours than mine."

The brunette lets out a soft exhale and she stands to leave, kisses her on the forehead.

The brunette is straightening when she reaches out. Her fingers reach the brunette's forehead as she presses slightly. The space between her eyebrows. 

The brunette almost stops breathing.

"I remember," she murmurs, and lets her arm fall back onto the bed.

The brunette looks at her with glassy eyes, nods, and leaves.

"Maria," she whispers. Another name on her list. List of people Natasha Romanoff loved, would die for.

"Masha," she whispers. She may not know her own name, may not have a label for herself, but she remembers.


	45. Chapter 45

2013, date redacted

She's visited by Clint Barton again. "She needs time," the doctor says. "How much?" He replies.

She doesn't know. She's faintly sorry that she means something to them, that with her increasing amount of returning memories, she can see the pain in their eyes.

One day she wakes up. She decides to dance again. It's dark outside, only the light from the hallways and the soft nightlight beside her bed. Everyone' off duty, only guards standing outside the door. She dances, warms up her body from weeks of disuse. She lets it flow, she lets the phantom music guide her into variations and positions and dances. She uses her slippers to go on pointe. It hurts her feet, but only distantly. The guard hear's a noise and opens the door to check. Moonlight flows in.

She's breathing again, she's alive. The box has been opened, she's performing again. She ignores the hushed whispers, makes the music in her head louder. The guards look through the glass to observe.

She's always liked a bit of a crowd, and this crowd was silent, which was nice. Her feet patter against the smooth tiles that feel burning compared to her bone deep chill. But she's warming up.

She is light, she is alive, she is a flame in the dark. She is Natalia Alianovna Romanova, she's Natasha Romanoff, she's Black Widow. 

Grace, strength, hidden power. 

She's the Widow of Russian legends, dating back to Soviet times. She's an unstoppable force, she's all muscles and fluidity. 

She dances until the sun rises and she settles back down on the bed, exhausted.

If the doctors know of this, they do not speak of it. The guards don't tell anyone either, they just sit and watch every night she, Natasha, Natalia, performs.

It's peaceful, it's what she needs. To feel, to not speak, to just move.

2013, date redacted

Galina curls up in Maria's office to read when she's not training. She likes the books, its nice. She doesn't like the books with overly simple plots, it's stupid and pointless, she complains to Yelena, when she can already guess most of the plot.

Galina trains sometimes, doesn't other times. She reads for hours, she does a bit of sparring with Yelena who goes easy on her, just like Natalia. She learns a bit of chemistry from the nice scientist that comes to visit her sometimes, learns a bit of Portuguese from this nice man from Portugal. She improves her english too, and some history. 

They look at her and Yelena and Natalia and all the other girls like they were ticking bombs. 

Good, they should be scared. We are probably meaner than anyone in this entire place, besides from Director Fury and Commander Hill, who Galina sincerely respected. 

They've gotten about ten girls out from the five facilities they raided, three of them just offices for certain Red Room agents who infiltrated normal, regular offices.

The other girls choose to remain in their dorms until they decide what they want to do. They attend school, more like private tutors. 

Galina is going to attend S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. She likes it at S.H.I.E.L.D., actually, it was more like she had a curiosity about S.H.I.E.L.D. This was the place Natalia and Yelena chose. She wants to know how it is.

For now, Galina lives with Yelena, who lives with Maria, so they naturally camp together in Maria's quarters. Maria's got two more beds for them. Yelena and Galina share a room. Yelena says once Natalia recovers, she's going to live with Maria.

She decides to explore Maria's desk that day, using her lock picking skills to good use and finds relics from Natalia's life with Maria. Finds the perfume bottles that Natalia gave Maria, finds the trinkets that they get for each other when they go on missions overseas. 

She finds pictures they take with each other, its... cute. Nice, feels like home. 

Home.

Natalia's built her home here. Maria loves her and Natalia clearly loves her too. Yelena's somewhere almost there.

She's the outsider, she knows. But she'll try to help join the family together again. 

That's the day she decides to go visit Natalia. She tries her hardest, but it doesn't work. She sees Yelena worried and Maria... Maria's still on a mission.

She receives a S.H.I.E.L.D. phone from Clint. She figures out how to use it and downloads music. Sometimes she listens and reads. 

The music and words drown out everything else. It's a peaceful oblivion, unfeeling. No racing thoughts, only her and the words and tune.

They can try to break her, but they won't. She's gotten rid of the ability to cry a long time ago. Tears come but don't fall. Sometimes the pent up tension is too much, so she writes. She writes on the app for notes, she pours out her life, or what she remembers of it, onto the app. She doesn't mention her name, changes the characters into almost unrecogisable but similar people. There's Yelena, the big sister. Then there's mama, Maria. And then there's Natalia, still lost, but finding her way. Her relationship with Natalia was odd. There was no name for it. Sometimes she hurts Galina, sometimes she's nice, others she's more sisterly, sometimes she acts like an overprotective hen, like the time someone tried to pick Galina's pocket. She was going to pick the boy's pocket right back, but Natalia cleared her throat, fixed the boy a glare and the boy let Galina's things drop to the floor and runs off.

Galina didn't really understand Natalia. Still doesn't, but at least she knows Natalia probably won't kill her now.

Its' good enough, she supposes. Maria's coming back today, she's going to make them real lasagna, and apparently according to Yelena it's really good.

She writes that down. 


	46. Chapter 46

2013, date redacted

**Dear diary, Mama's angry today. She and sestra Yelena have been fighting over Mama not resting, "running herself ragged to the ground", they're loud. Noisy. Worried for Natalia.**

Galina pauses her typing as she hears Yelena say that she needs to sleep, she has to stop running on coffee and sheer willpower, its not doing anyone any good. Maria's speaking too softly, either that or she's not speaking. 

It turns out to be the later when Yelena's fiery temper rears and she starts yelling.

The voices were too loud. She's used to loud noises, but not like this. She can't write, she can't hear her music over Yelena and Maria fighting.

Galina slips out to medical.

The guards let her in when she flashes the ID card she swiped from Maria's desk, just blocking the face. Besides, the guards know her. Somewhat remember her, at least. 

Galina settles in the chair and Natalia perks up.

"Hi," Natalia says, sitting up.

"Can't sleep?" Natalia asks.

"Maria and Yelena are going at it again. I didn't like the noise, so I came."

"Stubborn, both of them. Gonna get them in trouble someday." Natalia chuckles and settles down again.

"Maria does need to get some rest though, I've seen her on the commanding deck every single time I pass by there."

"I remember her doing this once. She stayed up for hours, Red Room may have taken most of my memories of her, or just repressed them or broke them until they shattered, but this one is different. I can still remember," Natalia softly admits.

Galina keeps silent, its a little psychological trick. Stay silent, let the rest of the story flow out, perhaps even more. It was a little mean to do this to Natalia when she was in such a confused state, but it was to help her remember and recover. It was working, apparently. She seemed more like the Natasha Maria told her about in between her breaks to come visit her.

"Budapest. Went haywire in a matter of minutes when the other side was tipped off by someone. Never traced them back, probably HYDRA. My clearance... I don't even have a clearance anymore. It used to be at Level 8, but I guess after this it'll be Level 1."

"You want to join S.H.I.E.L.D. again," Galina states more than asks.

"It's all I've got, isn't it? Things to return to normal, or about normal I suppose. As soon as this blows over, I'll be back in the field in no time. Heck, maybe beat up some rookies in the gym, or eat crappy donuts and pizza rolls in S.H.I.E.L.D. cafeteria. Do they still have those? Oh gods, it's like I died and came back to life again."

"You sort of did, I guess. Red Room is thorough with their wiping and re programming, I suppose you died somewhat died. So, you're born anew again. Phoenix rising from the ashes. You still have the light in you, I see it in your eyes. Dim, but still there. You're becoming Natasha again. Heard a lot about Natasha from Maria."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Hey, if you're up for it, maybe we can go visit Maria? I mean, you might not like like Maria now, or-"

"I love her, and every fibre of me leftover of Natalia is fighting against it. I don't want to love her and yet I want her, I feel like I'm being torn apart, you know?" Natalia quietly says.

"Like you know. Like it's a tugging insistence, like it's instinct, like it's at the back of your head, but your conscious pushes it away. Resists. You don't want to get hurt again, you also want to protect her."

"Yeah, like that. I love her so much it burns, like a fire. Like lava, like the serum, you know? Flows through you. It's everywhere. But then there's this part of my brain, nagging at me, telling me to not be weak, telling me that I'm just a weapon, just another Widow toying with her prey, just catching her in my web. It's, confusing. Terrifying. I don't know what to do, I've been feigning sleep ever since... nothing, that's in the past. But Maria's suffering, and its like I can feel it."

"So visit Maria. Make you both feel better. That voice in your head, it's just you past knocking on the door. Slam it shut in its face, tell it to go away, it's temporary, but it will help for now."

"It'll come back."

"Yeah, but hopefully by then you'll be ready. In the field, as you say. Avenge everyone, avenge yourself, avenge the little girl that died in Red Room, in the fire."

"It's tiring, I suppose, but we'll survive, that's what all Red Room girls do best. Survive. Kindle the light to become a flame. Don't let it die out."

"In the dark the light in our souls shine."

Galina offers a hand.

And Natalia takes it.

She reaches out for her hand, and its like a million lanterns are lit, its like the first step. She took it, and she's free from her shackles, from her chains. She may not hav her scars to prove it this time, but they're there, and she **has survived.**

"My name is Natasha Romanoff, and this will be my legacy. My name is Natasha Romanoff, and I am a survivor." Natasha says out loud.

Grips the hand. Slides out of the bed. Follows Galina like a ghost. No, like trailing fire. With each step, the flame in her rose. With each step, something in her was re-kindled.

The guards part to let way. 

Natasha Romanoff follows Galina Lazarev and their hands entangle together, like two flames combining to form one.

Natasha Romanoff reaches the quarters of Maria Hill. She knocks softly, and enters to see Maria lying on the sofa, Yelena sitting beside her on the floor, drawing.

They look up, and Maria gives a faint smile.

Galina nudges Natasha.

And Natasha lets go of her hand, lets everyone see the fire in her, the fluidity in her steps, the burning flame going strong, and runs to Maria and hugs her tightly.


	47. Chapter 47

2013, 28 January

Maria smiles as she lets Natasha hug her tightly. It's like she's whole again, complete. The piece of the puzzle fit into place. She knows without a doubt, that this is Natasha, this is her girlfriend who secretly binge watches tv shows and likes to braid hair. This is her funny, perfect, and incredibly hot girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry it took me so long," Natasha whispers, tears soaking Maria's shirt as she silently cries.

"It's okay, you're here. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm free, remember?" Natasha chuckles and presses a kiss to Maria's shoulder.

Maria smiles until her lips are going to split and tangles her fingers into Nat's hair, stroking.

Natasha buries herself into Maria, inhaling deeply, admiring how **right** and perfect it feels.

Maria signals for Yelena and Galina as they hesitantly join and Maria wraps an arm around them, Natasha following suit.

They tense but relax into it, and the four let go.

2013, 28 January

"Hill, we've got an emergency, Tasha's gone- oh."

Maria sleepily opens and eye and sees Clint peeking out from the vents.

"Fuck off," she grumbles.

Natasha mumbles something untangible and throws a pillow over her head, burrowing herself deeper into Maria.

"Sorry, I'll just go, sorry, and its good to have you back Tasha!" Clint yells and leaves immediately.

Maria groans and kisses Natasha's forehead, lazily drawing nonsensical patterns on Natasha's back.

"It's nine, we should get up."

Natasha whines.

"It's saturday, Maria, just ten more minutes."

"Nat, we still have to bring you to medical."

"Fuck medical, I want you," Natasha murmurs, pulling the covers over them again.

"Nat, Yelena and Galina are going to come yelling for food in 3,2,1."

True to her word, someone is banging on their door, saying things like "stop being nasty in there" and "feed us".

"Babe, get up," Maria sighs.

"You're comfy and huggable, its unfair."

Maria laughs and sits up, bringing Natasha who was curled around on her up too.

Natasha grumbles and opens her eyes, rubbing at them.

"Go feed your children."

The incessant banging is still loud.

"Coming, just gonna put some clothes on!" Maria shouts at the door.

"Hurry up then slowpokes, I'm hangry and Galina's got iron deficiency, we need fuel!"

"Holy shit the child actually has iron deficiency?" Natasha's eyes pop wide open.

"Masha go feed them!"

Maria smiles. "Who was the koala bear that refused to let me go just a few seconds ago?"

"I won't let you go, ever," Natasha whispers, intertwining her fingers with Maria's, hearing her breath catch.

"Promise?"

"Promise, now go on your mission, and brush your teeth. Morning breath."

Maria scowls playfully and untangles herself from Natasha.

"Jerk, we're still heading down to medical later okay?"

Natasha hums in agreement and goes to find some of Maria's clothes to put on.

When she gets ready, she enters the small living room area of Maria's gigantic quarters. Dating the Deputy Director definitely had a lot of benefits. 

"You're an angel," Natasha sighs as she drinks her morning coffee that Maria slides her.

"I want some," Galina says as Yelena eats crackers she probably found somewhere in the fridge.

"No, all mine. Besides, aren't you too young?"

Galina levels her with an unimpressed look that looks creepily similar to Maria's. 

"I am technically about as old as you, and I assure you I can handle my caffeine. Besides, just one sip?"

Natasha sighs and gives in, involuntarily smiling at Galina's contented sigh of relief as she sips.

"Okay, enough of that. Pancakes time!" Maria announces and loads the first batch onto a plate for Yelena.

"Yes, food!" Yelena grins.

Natasha smiles at the domesticity of the entire situation. Hell, she and Maria really have two bundles of mischief with them, didn't they? They were going to be a handful, she almost felt sorry for S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick. 

She's gotta visit Fury soon, ask for clearance to work again.

Natasha sobers at the thought, and Maria, obviously, notices, even though she's one room away.

_Come here?_ Maria signals at Natasha.

Natasha slides off her chair and enters the kitchen area.

She slides her arms around Maria's waist, sighing in relief as she feels the knot in her chest loosen.

Maria turns to kiss her, and Natasha kisses back, gripping the back of Maria's head and hair, in those brown strands that have been driving her crazy for months.

"I love you, I love you," Natasha murmurs.

"Love you too you huge dork," Maria smiles, smile lighting up her face and making her look years younger, stress lines lifting instantly.

Natasha climbs onto the counter and deepens the kiss, their tongues sliding against one another.

"The girls will hear us," Maria says and stiffles her moan as Natasha breaks the kiss to press butterfly kisses against her neck.

"I'm sure you can stay silent while I fuck you," Natasha teases and sucks at Maria's pulse point, making Maria shudder and sigh.

"Nat, babe, I know we're all turned on and all, and I would gladly spend the rest of the day fucking you until you can't walk or talk-" Natasha groans and lets out a hot exhale," but we've got two kids there waiting for their food, and the pancakes are going to burn."

"I'm going to hold you on that promise later Masha," Natasha stops and smiles.

"Yeah, definitely, once medical clears you."

Natasha chuckles.

"Ass."

"Yours," Maria smirks and cups Natasha's face and gives her another kiss.

"Stop being nasty already please, I can hear you, super hearing remember?" Yelena yells.

Maria and Natasha look at each other and burst into laughter.

"Okay Queen Cranky, you're even worse than Nat, jesus!" Maria shouts back.

Natasha smiles and settles onto the counter into a more comfortable position and watches Maria make pancakes.

It's a good life. She's happy. Contented. Relaxed. 

It's perfect.


	48. Chapter 48

2013, 28 January

"You're cleared," Doctor Maya says, signing off her medical file and closes it, handing it to Natasha to look through.

Natasha confirms everything's alright before nodding and passing it back.

"It was an honour working with you, Agent Romanoff."

"You too, Agent Queenie."

The woman gives a smile and leads her to where Maria, Yelena and Galina were waiting.

Natasha laughs as Galina runs up to her to hug her, then Maria and Yelena do too.

"I'm cleared," Natasha says as Maria smiles and kisses her.

"Well congratulations Agent Romanoff, but I'll have to speak with you for a bit. In private," a familiar voice says."

"Hey Director Dad," Natasha grins as Fury sighs.

"Hill, are you kidding me, you've corrupted her now?"

Maria untangles herself from the human pile.

"Maybe. And Barton. And Melinda. And Yelena. And Galina. And maybe Sharon, and oh wait there's-"

Fury groans.

"Agent Romanoff, a word please? Without the three of you?" Fury emphasizes.

"Yeah yeah okay. Hills, duty calls."

"See you later babe," Maria murmurs and brings the other two girls out.

"So," Fury says once the door is closed," a little bird told me you wanted to join S.H.I.E.L.D. again."

"With your permission, Sir."

"Well, the paperwork would suck, but I believe between Hill and I we can share the load, then there's the security measures and whatnot. Also, more forms for you again."

"I accept Sir."

Fury levels her with a look.

"We're transferring James Buchanan Barnes under Steve Rogers and Tony Stark's care in June, would you be okay with that?"

"Yeah, sure. He deserves to have another chance. I think the two will help with that, and there's always Pepper."

Fury nods.

"Welcome back Agent Romanoff. Clearance level has increased to level 9. Your two crazy girls are going to S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. You're coming right back into the field, with your allowance. I expect you to report for duty in two days once the forms are done. I hate that part so much," Fury mumbles as an afterthought.

Natasha laughs.

"It's good to be back too Nick, missed your general 'I'm the big bad but I have like ten adopted daughters with tragic lives but were saved' kind of thing."

"Romanoff, I will put you on latrine duty if you keep that up."

"Heyo, watch me make Barton do it. Love you too, gotta go, got a girlfriend and two kids to attend to."

"Go attend to them, Natasha," Fury says, waving.

Natasha smiles brighter and mock salutes before leaving, being wrapped up into her family, plus Clint, he'll probably drop in somewhere during the day from the vents.

She's home. She's free, and the light in her is shining.

Under the bright medical lights, laughing along the way to Maria's quarters, ignoring the terrified looks from other agents or whispering, they went off to their home.

As they settled on the master bed, Maria and Natasha's bed, four of them together, watching crappy television that Maria somehow managed to convince Fury to allow for entertainment, Maria started singing.


	49. Chapter 49

So, that was the end!

First, a huge thank you to everyone who has clicked on this fic. You've been clickbaited, sort of. In the beginning it was really supposed to be a crack fic. I suddenly got plot ideas, and decided to write. It's been the best decisions I've made. I really have the feels right now okay I can't. 

Thank you for reading "Black Widow's Web". I'll change the tags soon, and the ratings. The mcu timeline still applies, by the way, just that most of the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier were brought forward. That's why I said Bucky would be transferred in June, because events of Iron Man 3 happen in end of April. 

Super grateful for taking your time to read this. Part of the journey is the end, but legacies live on. Don't waste your own life, make use of it, do some good. 


End file.
